One Fic, no challenge
Title: Making Choices
Summary: Alicia feels a desperate yearning for that which cannot be put into words. But she must stand by the choices she's made.
Characters/Pairings: Alicia Spinnet, Katie Bell/OFC
Genre: Angst
Rating/Warnings: PG-13
Medium: Fic
Word Count: 1800
Can the Order post to Tumblr?: Nope
They were standing much too close; Alicia could see the shine of her eyes, the deepness of their blue, as though the ocean lay within them. How she would have adored to jump into the ocean, to feel the shock of cold water on her skin. Maybe it would have snapped her out of this mad daydream.
"So," Katie said, looking away, and wrapping a strand of hair around her finger. She gazed out the window, where the city spread out before them, dense and gloomy and grey. "I guess I'm leaving, then. I'm really happy about it. I should be happy about it, yeah?" She looked back at Alicia; her eyes were pleading.
"Of course you should," Alicia said, all false bravado and confidence, as though her soul didn't cry at the very idea of Katie Bell leaving. "Things are going to be bright as starlight for you, kid. As bright as the brightest Lumos ever cast. How could they not be? You've got an amazing career and an amazing partner to share it with."
"I do, don't I?" Katie grinned. "I'm in love with her. The amazing Glenna Lambent, and she's all mine. Could you ever have imagined? Five years ago I didn't even know I was gay." She laughed, and then turned serious. "I didn't know."
Alicia shrugged. "We all go through that, Katie love. Nobody comes out the womb knowing the person they're going to fall in love with, or what naughty bits they'll have."
"Sometimes I just wonder, though, what might have happened if - ." Katie broke off and stared down at the floor, biting her lip. "If I'd known sooner."
"What, like you would have snogged every girl in Hogwarts?" Alicia tried to tease, tried to grin, but there was a falseness to her tone that she could not hide. Why was it suddenly all so difficult?
"No, just you," Katie joked back, and her tone was equally false. She tried a wink. "You know I'd do you any time, any where."
"Oh, yeah? How about right here, right now?"
"Take off your robes, you dirty girl."
"Make me."
They stared one another down, each silently daring the other girl to respond. If Katie moved first, if she did something, anything, then it wouldn't be Alicia's fault that she was cheating on Glenna. Alicia would be the innocent victim to Katie Bell's seduction. Even as she thought this, she knew that she was lying to herself. If Katie didn't kiss her right then, Alicia was going to make the first move herself, and Glenna Lambent be damned. The whole sodding world be damned, because Katie had gorgeous eyes and Alicia couldn't stand looking at them anymore without diving in.
But neither of them moved. They stood and stared and grinned at one another, once again turning the world into their own little private joke, that they so badly wanted one another but would never take the plunge. Because it was wrong, and they were both so bloody stubborn. Damn those ridiculous Gryffindor values, Alicia thought to herself. Damn them to hell.
Alicia's laughter rang through the empty flat. "Well, I've got to be off, Katie dear. Be sure to send me some saucy pictures from your first night with Glenna."
"You know I will," Katie replied. "Couldn't let you miss out on the action."
"No, you really couldn't."
And then Alicia stayed up all night wondering if she'd just imagined the entire exchange. Perhaps Katie really had been just joking, and Alicia's addled brain had twisted it all around in some desperate attempt to justify her emotions. She'd always sort of fancied Katie, hadn't she? Even back in school. So it made sense, that she would be feeling this way. Katie had finally landed herself a mate, and Alicia was jealous because she hadn't been able to snatch that up for herself. If only she hadn't been so bloody oblivious and had sussed out Katie's orientation before that witch Lambent had gotten her hands on her.
If she created some elaborate fantasy in her head where Katie was secretly in love with Alicia as well, then it was all right to think about her, to wonder what her lips tasted like, to imagine the feel of her skin. It wasn't a sin if both parties felt something, right? And Katie had to feel it, too; it was too intense, too palpable not to be felt.
Alicia went to sleep just before dawn, and dreamed of Katie's hands on her, the weight of her body, her warmth and her smile and her deep blue gaze. It wasn't a dream she had often, and so she savored it, and ran it over and over through her mind the moment she woke up again. She didn't want it to end.
**
LiciaBird,
Life is absolutely fab! The team is amazing and we're having so much fun. Glenna is of course my guide to the world; it's not at all like Hogwarts Quidditch, it's so much more intense. It's a world of Oliver Woods, which would drive you bonkers, haha. But it's thrilling. I kind of like it, it's inspiring and I want to do everything in the universe.
Our first game is in two months and I can't believe it!!! Please come if you can, I'll get you spectacular seats. You can watch my fine arse on a broom. If I recall correctly you quite enjoyed that sight, wink wink.
Okay, Glenna is calling me, that saucy minx, I've got to go. I adore you, hugs and kisses, and hope to see you soon!
Bells
A team photo was included; Alicia put her finger over Glenna Lambent and focused solely on Katie's laughing face. She looked the happiest Alicia had ever seen. It broke her heart.
**
Katie looked over at her Glenna with so much love on her face that Alicia wondered how she could have ever fooled herself into believing that there was anything there in that heart for Alicia. Katie slipped her hand under the table and squeezed Glenna's thigh, but Alicia saw it clearly from where she was sitting, and she felt a yearning urge to leap out of her seat and turn that expression of love in her direction, place her palms on Katie's pale face and kiss that love into her own self. But such things were impossible. Alicia felt a yearning urge that was impossible to obtain, impossible to even put words to. It made her feel too big for her body, as though she were vibrating right out of her skin, as though she were trembling, though her limbs did not move. It made her feel as though she were crying, though no tears were in her eyes. Her soul did the crying. It was a pathetic metaphor for something that could not be named, and Alicia felt stupid for trying. But it was what it was.
"I did miss you, Licia," Katie said, grinning. "It's going to be amazing, having you come to the matches and cheer me on."
"Oh, I've already made my life-sized portraits of your beautiful face," Alicia replied, falling back into the routine, the jokes and innuendo. "As well as several other parts of your anatomy."
Katie laughed, and Glenna made a face, a face that Alicia irrationally hated, though it was not an unpleasant face in its own right. "Such jokes," Glenna said, with her light and airy voice, with her Scottish accent and her convivial smile. If she hadn't stolen Katie, if Alicia hadn't already had her own heart stolen, Alicia could have fallen for Glenna herself. She couldn't fault Katie's taste, but that only made her more upset. "You'd think you two had a history of some sort. Don't tell me I've missed something, girls."
"No, of course not," Katie said, laughing, though her face was flushed slightly. Alicia grinned. "Alicia's my best friend. I can keep women separate, you know. It's not all about the sexing with me."
"No, only in her dreams," Alicia joked, with a wink in Glenna's direction.
**
Katie leaned her head against Alicia's shoulder and sighed. "Why can't I be beautiful like you?" she asked quietly, so quietly that Alicia at first thought she'd heard incorrectly.
"What?" Her chest hurt.
"My skin's all splotchy and my hair is always a tangled mess. You're so flawless and it's like you don't even care; I wish I had that. Glenna wants to go out and show me off, and … I just don't feel very worthy of it sometimes."
"Bells, you are beautiful, and Glenna knows that as much as I do." Alicia swallowed hard, fighting past the ache of her heart and the swirling desperation of her mind. She was furious, angry at Katie for being so oblivious and angry at herself for not taking her chances. Angry at the world, for making her feel as though she could never be her true self. Why could Glenna Lambent be completely open about her love for a woman, and Alicia Spinnet could not? It shouldn't have been that way.
"You really think so?" Katie asked her, looking up with hope and happiness in her eyes, her deep blue ocean eyes.
Alicia shivered, cursed herself silently yet again, and nodded. "Course I do, love."
"Well, I thank you for your opinion. Maybe you can help me pick out some pretty new outfit while I'm in town. Something to impress Glenna with." Katie gave a little quiet sigh, just the barest rush of air against Alicia's skin. "I really love her."
"I'm glad," Alicia replied. "You deserve that. And she seems wonderful." It wasn't a lie. If it couldn't be Alicia, then perhaps Glenna Lambent was an okay choice. And perhaps one day, Alicia would be completely okay with that choice.
"She is." Katie was falling asleep now, mumbling as she cuddled in closer to Alicia. "She really, really is."
Alicia had had her choices, nights in Gryffindor Tower where she'd sat by the fire and looked at Katie Bell, wondering what odd feelings meant and what she could do about them. Alicia had made her choices then, to stand back and wait, to do nothing and hope that everything would work itself out for the best. She had chosen friendship, and she could not go back on that now. Alicia had to live with her choices. It was wrong to want anything else.
She pulled Katie in tighter, breathing in deep and closing her eyes, savoring the only feel she would ever get of that warm body alongside her, and praying to Merlin that she would be satisfied by that, would do nothing to destroy the life Katie had made for herself. It was the least she could do for her best friend.
Crystal/Hufflepuff/60 Points
Summary: Alicia feels a desperate yearning for that which cannot be put into words. But she must stand by the choices she's made.
Characters/Pairings: Alicia Spinnet, Katie Bell/OFC
Genre: Angst
Rating/Warnings: PG-13
Medium: Fic
Word Count: 1800
Can the Order post to Tumblr?: Nope
They were standing much too close; Alicia could see the shine of her eyes, the deepness of their blue, as though the ocean lay within them. How she would have adored to jump into the ocean, to feel the shock of cold water on her skin. Maybe it would have snapped her out of this mad daydream.
"So," Katie said, looking away, and wrapping a strand of hair around her finger. She gazed out the window, where the city spread out before them, dense and gloomy and grey. "I guess I'm leaving, then. I'm really happy about it. I should be happy about it, yeah?" She looked back at Alicia; her eyes were pleading.
"Of course you should," Alicia said, all false bravado and confidence, as though her soul didn't cry at the very idea of Katie Bell leaving. "Things are going to be bright as starlight for you, kid. As bright as the brightest Lumos ever cast. How could they not be? You've got an amazing career and an amazing partner to share it with."
"I do, don't I?" Katie grinned. "I'm in love with her. The amazing Glenna Lambent, and she's all mine. Could you ever have imagined? Five years ago I didn't even know I was gay." She laughed, and then turned serious. "I didn't know."
Alicia shrugged. "We all go through that, Katie love. Nobody comes out the womb knowing the person they're going to fall in love with, or what naughty bits they'll have."
"Sometimes I just wonder, though, what might have happened if - ." Katie broke off and stared down at the floor, biting her lip. "If I'd known sooner."
"What, like you would have snogged every girl in Hogwarts?" Alicia tried to tease, tried to grin, but there was a falseness to her tone that she could not hide. Why was it suddenly all so difficult?
"No, just you," Katie joked back, and her tone was equally false. She tried a wink. "You know I'd do you any time, any where."
"Oh, yeah? How about right here, right now?"
"Take off your robes, you dirty girl."
"Make me."
They stared one another down, each silently daring the other girl to respond. If Katie moved first, if she did something, anything, then it wouldn't be Alicia's fault that she was cheating on Glenna. Alicia would be the innocent victim to Katie Bell's seduction. Even as she thought this, she knew that she was lying to herself. If Katie didn't kiss her right then, Alicia was going to make the first move herself, and Glenna Lambent be damned. The whole sodding world be damned, because Katie had gorgeous eyes and Alicia couldn't stand looking at them anymore without diving in.
But neither of them moved. They stood and stared and grinned at one another, once again turning the world into their own little private joke, that they so badly wanted one another but would never take the plunge. Because it was wrong, and they were both so bloody stubborn. Damn those ridiculous Gryffindor values, Alicia thought to herself. Damn them to hell.
Alicia's laughter rang through the empty flat. "Well, I've got to be off, Katie dear. Be sure to send me some saucy pictures from your first night with Glenna."
"You know I will," Katie replied. "Couldn't let you miss out on the action."
"No, you really couldn't."
And then Alicia stayed up all night wondering if she'd just imagined the entire exchange. Perhaps Katie really had been just joking, and Alicia's addled brain had twisted it all around in some desperate attempt to justify her emotions. She'd always sort of fancied Katie, hadn't she? Even back in school. So it made sense, that she would be feeling this way. Katie had finally landed herself a mate, and Alicia was jealous because she hadn't been able to snatch that up for herself. If only she hadn't been so bloody oblivious and had sussed out Katie's orientation before that witch Lambent had gotten her hands on her.
If she created some elaborate fantasy in her head where Katie was secretly in love with Alicia as well, then it was all right to think about her, to wonder what her lips tasted like, to imagine the feel of her skin. It wasn't a sin if both parties felt something, right? And Katie had to feel it, too; it was too intense, too palpable not to be felt.
Alicia went to sleep just before dawn, and dreamed of Katie's hands on her, the weight of her body, her warmth and her smile and her deep blue gaze. It wasn't a dream she had often, and so she savored it, and ran it over and over through her mind the moment she woke up again. She didn't want it to end.
**
LiciaBird,
Life is absolutely fab! The team is amazing and we're having so much fun. Glenna is of course my guide to the world; it's not at all like Hogwarts Quidditch, it's so much more intense. It's a world of Oliver Woods, which would drive you bonkers, haha. But it's thrilling. I kind of like it, it's inspiring and I want to do everything in the universe.
Our first game is in two months and I can't believe it!!! Please come if you can, I'll get you spectacular seats. You can watch my fine arse on a broom. If I recall correctly you quite enjoyed that sight, wink wink.
Okay, Glenna is calling me, that saucy minx, I've got to go. I adore you, hugs and kisses, and hope to see you soon!
Bells
A team photo was included; Alicia put her finger over Glenna Lambent and focused solely on Katie's laughing face. She looked the happiest Alicia had ever seen. It broke her heart.
**
Katie looked over at her Glenna with so much love on her face that Alicia wondered how she could have ever fooled herself into believing that there was anything there in that heart for Alicia. Katie slipped her hand under the table and squeezed Glenna's thigh, but Alicia saw it clearly from where she was sitting, and she felt a yearning urge to leap out of her seat and turn that expression of love in her direction, place her palms on Katie's pale face and kiss that love into her own self. But such things were impossible. Alicia felt a yearning urge that was impossible to obtain, impossible to even put words to. It made her feel too big for her body, as though she were vibrating right out of her skin, as though she were trembling, though her limbs did not move. It made her feel as though she were crying, though no tears were in her eyes. Her soul did the crying. It was a pathetic metaphor for something that could not be named, and Alicia felt stupid for trying. But it was what it was.
"I did miss you, Licia," Katie said, grinning. "It's going to be amazing, having you come to the matches and cheer me on."
"Oh, I've already made my life-sized portraits of your beautiful face," Alicia replied, falling back into the routine, the jokes and innuendo. "As well as several other parts of your anatomy."
Katie laughed, and Glenna made a face, a face that Alicia irrationally hated, though it was not an unpleasant face in its own right. "Such jokes," Glenna said, with her light and airy voice, with her Scottish accent and her convivial smile. If she hadn't stolen Katie, if Alicia hadn't already had her own heart stolen, Alicia could have fallen for Glenna herself. She couldn't fault Katie's taste, but that only made her more upset. "You'd think you two had a history of some sort. Don't tell me I've missed something, girls."
"No, of course not," Katie said, laughing, though her face was flushed slightly. Alicia grinned. "Alicia's my best friend. I can keep women separate, you know. It's not all about the sexing with me."
"No, only in her dreams," Alicia joked, with a wink in Glenna's direction.
**
Katie leaned her head against Alicia's shoulder and sighed. "Why can't I be beautiful like you?" she asked quietly, so quietly that Alicia at first thought she'd heard incorrectly.
"What?" Her chest hurt.
"My skin's all splotchy and my hair is always a tangled mess. You're so flawless and it's like you don't even care; I wish I had that. Glenna wants to go out and show me off, and … I just don't feel very worthy of it sometimes."
"Bells, you are beautiful, and Glenna knows that as much as I do." Alicia swallowed hard, fighting past the ache of her heart and the swirling desperation of her mind. She was furious, angry at Katie for being so oblivious and angry at herself for not taking her chances. Angry at the world, for making her feel as though she could never be her true self. Why could Glenna Lambent be completely open about her love for a woman, and Alicia Spinnet could not? It shouldn't have been that way.
"You really think so?" Katie asked her, looking up with hope and happiness in her eyes, her deep blue ocean eyes.
Alicia shivered, cursed herself silently yet again, and nodded. "Course I do, love."
"Well, I thank you for your opinion. Maybe you can help me pick out some pretty new outfit while I'm in town. Something to impress Glenna with." Katie gave a little quiet sigh, just the barest rush of air against Alicia's skin. "I really love her."
"I'm glad," Alicia replied. "You deserve that. And she seems wonderful." It wasn't a lie. If it couldn't be Alicia, then perhaps Glenna Lambent was an okay choice. And perhaps one day, Alicia would be completely okay with that choice.
"She is." Katie was falling asleep now, mumbling as she cuddled in closer to Alicia. "She really, really is."
Alicia had had her choices, nights in Gryffindor Tower where she'd sat by the fire and looked at Katie Bell, wondering what odd feelings meant and what she could do about them. Alicia had made her choices then, to stand back and wait, to do nothing and hope that everything would work itself out for the best. She had chosen friendship, and she could not go back on that now. Alicia had to live with her choices. It was wrong to want anything else.
She pulled Katie in tighter, breathing in deep and closing her eyes, savoring the only feel she would ever get of that warm body alongside her, and praying to Merlin that she would be satisfied by that, would do nothing to destroy the life Katie had made for herself. It was the least she could do for her best friend.
Crystal/Hufflepuff/60 Points