Fic Challenge #33 Final Victory by Moon Faery (rated PG13)
Final Victory
Rating: PG13
Series: HP
Genre: AU/Humor
Pairings/Characters: Harry, Snape
Warnings: Pre-HBP AU, humor, gore, no pairings, odd writing
Words: 561
By Moon Faery
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc, yadda yadda.
Note: Written for hh_sugarquill's Fic Challenge #33.
Summary: Harry Potter (Boy Who Lived, Defender of the Wizarding World, etc.) defeats Voldemort (Dark Lord, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, Sally Beauty Supply's Number One Customer, etc.) and the Good (supposedly) Professor (definitely) Snape makes an announcement.
***
The sword of Gryffindor glowed with black fire as Harry swung it one final time. The Great Hall rang with the sound of steel cleanly slicing through flesh and bone (sort of a "nnnh-squish"). Blood spurted, and Voldemort’s headless body slowly toppled to the floor (thud). Crimson washed the stones of Hogwarts, spreading in a sticky pool (other bodily fluids will go unmentioned, though blood is never the only by-product of violent death). The villain's head slowly rolled to a halt at the victor's feet, sightless eyes staring upwards in shock (and pissiness. He was just killed after all).
The Boy Who Lived stood over his fallen enemy, wiping gore from his glasses (with an equally goo-covered shirt, it could be mentioned). Clad in the garb of Heroes (Dudley's old sweats and a tank), he stood radiant in the shining moonlight that drifted from the Hall's enchanted ceiling (because these things just can't happen on a sunny day, of course). Onlookers cheered their Hero, shooting spells and fireworks into the sky to show their joy. (There's always on-lookers, don't ask me why. Maybe they come with the action figure set.) At the staff table, the Professors stood and cheered, Dumbledore by far the loudest. (No, I don't know why Voldemort didn't off Dumbledore first, and it's a bit late to ask the man himself.)
Harry Potter, Defeater of the Dark Forces, Boy Who Lived and Youngest Seeker In a Century (also the Boy Who Took Witches Weekly's Best Smile from Lockhart), smiled shyly, causing half of the audience to swoon (not all of them female, much to Malfoy's later humiliation). Only one person didn't cheer, didn't even smile.
Snape. (Who else?)
Silence fell as the foreboding Professor's lack of reaction began to be noticed. Soon even the heartiest of celebrators was watching Snape with fearful eyes. (One poor girl watched with love-sick eyes, but she was later admitted to St. Mungo's to room with Lockhart and therefore doesn't count.)
Greasy hair shining in the moonlight (and that of incidental torches, which shan't be mentioned again lest they distract from the moon), Snape stood. His black robes billowed around him as he stepped to the front of the dais, lips curled downward in a sharp frown. Harry tensed, wondering if the good professor were not so good (he ever was?), and perhaps had been secretly spying for Voldemort pretending to spy for Dumbeldore on Voldemort while really spying for Voldemort on Dumbledore. (That only makes sense if you read it twice.)
Snape raised a hand for silence (which he already had, the wanker). The gathered on-lookers quailed (only thing they're good for other than cheering). Harry raised his chin, determined that if Snape were indeed an enemy, he would meet and defeat him, as a Hero should.
In a voice as cold as a shallow grave, Snape announced, "One Hundred points to Gryffindor for saving the known world."
The terrified silence changed to one of shock (it’s the color that makes the difference). Just as Harry was about to thank the Professor for his kind (stingy) reward, Snape spoke again.
"And ninety-nine points from Gryffindor for making a mess of the Great Hall." He held up a mop and bucket (from who-knows-where). "You may start scrubbing, Mr. Potter."
The moral of the story: someone like Snape can never just let you win.
Rating: PG13
Series: HP
Genre: AU/Humor
Pairings/Characters: Harry, Snape
Warnings: Pre-HBP AU, humor, gore, no pairings, odd writing
Words: 561
By Moon Faery
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc, yadda yadda.
Note: Written for hh_sugarquill's Fic Challenge #33.
Summary: Harry Potter (Boy Who Lived, Defender of the Wizarding World, etc.) defeats Voldemort (Dark Lord, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, Sally Beauty Supply's Number One Customer, etc.) and the Good (supposedly) Professor (definitely) Snape makes an announcement.
***
The sword of Gryffindor glowed with black fire as Harry swung it one final time. The Great Hall rang with the sound of steel cleanly slicing through flesh and bone (sort of a "nnnh-squish"). Blood spurted, and Voldemort’s headless body slowly toppled to the floor (thud). Crimson washed the stones of Hogwarts, spreading in a sticky pool (other bodily fluids will go unmentioned, though blood is never the only by-product of violent death). The villain's head slowly rolled to a halt at the victor's feet, sightless eyes staring upwards in shock (and pissiness. He was just killed after all).
The Boy Who Lived stood over his fallen enemy, wiping gore from his glasses (with an equally goo-covered shirt, it could be mentioned). Clad in the garb of Heroes (Dudley's old sweats and a tank), he stood radiant in the shining moonlight that drifted from the Hall's enchanted ceiling (because these things just can't happen on a sunny day, of course). Onlookers cheered their Hero, shooting spells and fireworks into the sky to show their joy. (There's always on-lookers, don't ask me why. Maybe they come with the action figure set.) At the staff table, the Professors stood and cheered, Dumbledore by far the loudest. (No, I don't know why Voldemort didn't off Dumbledore first, and it's a bit late to ask the man himself.)
Harry Potter, Defeater of the Dark Forces, Boy Who Lived and Youngest Seeker In a Century (also the Boy Who Took Witches Weekly's Best Smile from Lockhart), smiled shyly, causing half of the audience to swoon (not all of them female, much to Malfoy's later humiliation). Only one person didn't cheer, didn't even smile.
Snape. (Who else?)
Silence fell as the foreboding Professor's lack of reaction began to be noticed. Soon even the heartiest of celebrators was watching Snape with fearful eyes. (One poor girl watched with love-sick eyes, but she was later admitted to St. Mungo's to room with Lockhart and therefore doesn't count.)
Greasy hair shining in the moonlight (and that of incidental torches, which shan't be mentioned again lest they distract from the moon), Snape stood. His black robes billowed around him as he stepped to the front of the dais, lips curled downward in a sharp frown. Harry tensed, wondering if the good professor were not so good (he ever was?), and perhaps had been secretly spying for Voldemort pretending to spy for Dumbeldore on Voldemort while really spying for Voldemort on Dumbledore. (That only makes sense if you read it twice.)
Snape raised a hand for silence (which he already had, the wanker). The gathered on-lookers quailed (only thing they're good for other than cheering). Harry raised his chin, determined that if Snape were indeed an enemy, he would meet and defeat him, as a Hero should.
In a voice as cold as a shallow grave, Snape announced, "One Hundred points to Gryffindor for saving the known world."
The terrified silence changed to one of shock (it’s the color that makes the difference). Just as Harry was about to thank the Professor for his kind (stingy) reward, Snape spoke again.
"And ninety-nine points from Gryffindor for making a mess of the Great Hall." He held up a mop and bucket (from who-knows-where). "You may start scrubbing, Mr. Potter."
The moral of the story: someone like Snape can never just let you win.