Title: all untitled
Summary: Various haikus and short (mostly cracky) fics. Highlights include: Arthur watches the Home Shopping Network, Ron is a sexy pimp, and Tommy Riddle hosts the best tea parties.
Characters/Pairings: Harry, Ginny, Hagrid, Voldemort, Firenze, Hedwig, Kreacher, Errol, Fluffy, Arthur and Molly Weasley, Hermione, Ron, Bill, Fleur, and Snape
Genre: Poems, crack, and fluff
Beta: none
Rating/Warnings: should I warn for bad writing? consider yourself warned.
Medium: Haikus, Drabbles, and Ficlets
Word Count: ~760
16 Haikus:
Ginny Weasley has
a crush on Harry Potter
She's adorable
Phoenix feather core
Harry's wand has a brother
It belongs to Vold---
Magical Creatures
Dragons, Hippogriffs, Thestrals
Hagrid's specialty
Fawkes flies overhead
The sorting hat in his beak
It holds Godric's sword
Firenze the Centaur
Astonishingly blue eyes
All the girls love him
Hedwig, Snowy Owl
Carries many messages
Harry's loyal friend
Kreacher the house elf
Crotchety, harsh, rude, and mean
Serves the House of Black
Errol, ancient owl
He crashes and collapses
After delivery
Boggarts shift and change
Becoming your worst nightmare
You should laugh them off
You have a question?
Don't be shy, ask your house ghost
They are here to help
Fluffy has three heads
He guards a special trap door
The music soothes him
Accio portkey
Harry summons the Goblet
Escapes the graveyard
For a clever theif
A locked door is no trouble
Alohomora
Unforgivable
Extreme pain and suffering
The Crucio Curse
A powerful spell
Tripping, freezing, and binding
Impedimenta
Darkness all around
Shed some light on the subject
Lumos Maximus
Ficlet Challenge #26
Prompt: I can't talk now, I have to get my wallet out of the toaster.
Word Count: 100-500
Arthur's eyes grew wider and wider. He scooted forward in his chair, mesmerized by the sights he was taking in. It was amazing, the sheer genius of it! He'd gotten his hands on a muggles' picture box just two days ago, and he hadn't taken his eyes off of it since. There were scores of channels, each with it's own personality, it's own set of nuances and quirks. Some held action and adventure, some real life drama. Some even told stories about what muggles thought wizards were like! But the one Arthur had just found was the most amazing of all.
It was a universal problem-- muggles and wizards alike. The wizarding world had yet to come up with a solution, but the muggles in the picture box were using the item with ease! Arthur could see himself in one now. At home, in the car, in the stands at the Quidditch pitch, this thing could go anywhere!
Arthur needed to have one. The muggle on the picture box had just said to, “Act now!” and he was going to do just that. He jumped up out of his chair and made his way to the kitchen.
He could hear Molly calling from upstairs. “Arthur, are you coming to bed?”
“I can't talk now, Molly, I have to get my wallet out of the toaster!” He needed to buy that snuggie!
Drabble Challenge #26
Character: Weddings
Genre: Romance/Fluff
Word Count: 100
Hermione giggled as Ron twirled her around the dance floor. There was a lot going on at the moment-- horcruxes and impending doom-- but right now, at this moment in time, she was perfectly happy. Bill and Fleur had tied the knot, love was in the air, and nothing was going to bring down her mood. The dopey grin on Ron’s face told her that he felt the same.
Looking into his eyes now, Hermione thought she might just melt. He leaned in, kissed her lightly on the lips, and leaned his forhead against hers. Yep, she was perfectly happy.
Drabble Challenge #39
Subject: Golden Snitch
Genre: Any
Word Count: 100 or Less
Harry shut out everything around him. The crowd was whooping and hollering, and there were brooms and bludgers flying everywhere, but his focus on one thing, and one thing alone: the golden snitch. There! His trained eyes caught it’s glint, just beyond the press box. Robes flying in the wind, Harry streaked past an opposing chaser, stretched out his hand as far as it would go, and at last felt his fingers close around the metal. One hundred and fifty points for Gryffindor!
Drabble Challenge #52
Prompt: OOC Crack.
Word Count: 100 or less
"What up dog?" Ron strutted into class, greeting his fellow students with a smile and a few fist bumps. The boys all wanted to be him. The girls all wanted to sleep with him. Some of the boys wanted to sleep with him too. He stripped down to his shorts and laid down on the grass next to them. He was just too sexy for his shirt.
Damn, Ron thought to himself, it feels good to be a pimp.
Drabble Challenge #52
Prompt: OOC Crack.
Word Count: 100 or less
Tommy poured the tea all around. A cup for himself, a cup for Severus, and a cup for each of his two dolls and three teddy bears. He set the pot back on it's doiley and adjusted his tiara. His tea parties were things of legend, and anyone could see why. He baked the best cakes and brewed the best tea. His plastic cups were the shiniest in all the neighborhood. A bright sunny day and a tea party at the Riddle house; could life get any better than this?
Anna/Gryffindor
16 Haikus x 5 points = 80 points
1 challenge ficlet (237 words) = 13 points
4 challenge drabbles (80-100 words) x 8 points = 32 points
125 POINTS FOR GRYFFINDOR