I'm back
It's so nice to be home. I've missed everyone! If I hadn't forgotted my USB cable at mom's I'd have new pictures up on the scrapbook. I'll post when all is updated.
This was taken out of a friend's journal. It's an exerpt from Dorian Grey ( I assume from The Picture of Dorian Grey). I want nothing more than to feel this way(though it doesn't end so well)...what a girl, right? Pray for my deranged and tattered soul.
"A rose shook in her blood and shadowed
her cheeks. Quick breath parted the petals of her lips.
They trembled. Some southern wind of passion swept over her
and stirred the dainty folds of her dress. "I love him,"
she said simply."
Yes, pathetic. I'm the girl who's favourite novel happens to be Wuthering Heights. I guess I'm a dark and hopeless soul. Tragic love, not the happily ever after crap. I can only assume that my pessimism stems from a greater desire to be blissfully surprised by the "happily ever after". I'm seriously doubtful that I will be one of the few to have such a wonderful end, so I won't count on it. Hope for it? Absolutly. I assume that that the fuzzy, heady feeling of unhindered love in it's early stages is completely lost to me. At this point, though so young, I feel as though I can never have that again. I'm left with the nastalgia; the memories of something greater than what I have worked so hard to obtain but never really did. Innocence lost. Even if at this point I do manage to retain, or obtain a greater love...it's not without prior damage. Is there a point when your soul heals completely? Will you always have the scars to remind you that love will never be the same as that first occurance? If in fact I have no choice, will I be too bitter to resume a normal life, with hope that someone will actually love me, when my first love didn't? Will I ever stop questioning my worth? I just want to know how to tell the lies from the truth. If someone tells me that they love me whole and complete, scars and all, will I trust them? When do I know it's ok? And will these questions ever be answered? All of these questions are subject to changes in my current situation, but too close a path to not ask right now. I want answers that really no one can answer for me. I want to be normal again, without any earth shattering issues that my friends are tired of hearing about. I want to be able to say that "Everything is truly wonderful". I don't want to be ranked among those whose problems never go away. No one likes drama, least of all me, and here I am living a soap opera script. I just want to be happy again.
This was taken out of a friend's journal. It's an exerpt from Dorian Grey ( I assume from The Picture of Dorian Grey). I want nothing more than to feel this way(though it doesn't end so well)...what a girl, right? Pray for my deranged and tattered soul.
"A rose shook in her blood and shadowed
her cheeks. Quick breath parted the petals of her lips.
They trembled. Some southern wind of passion swept over her
and stirred the dainty folds of her dress. "I love him,"
she said simply."
Yes, pathetic. I'm the girl who's favourite novel happens to be Wuthering Heights. I guess I'm a dark and hopeless soul. Tragic love, not the happily ever after crap. I can only assume that my pessimism stems from a greater desire to be blissfully surprised by the "happily ever after". I'm seriously doubtful that I will be one of the few to have such a wonderful end, so I won't count on it. Hope for it? Absolutly. I assume that that the fuzzy, heady feeling of unhindered love in it's early stages is completely lost to me. At this point, though so young, I feel as though I can never have that again. I'm left with the nastalgia; the memories of something greater than what I have worked so hard to obtain but never really did. Innocence lost. Even if at this point I do manage to retain, or obtain a greater love...it's not without prior damage. Is there a point when your soul heals completely? Will you always have the scars to remind you that love will never be the same as that first occurance? If in fact I have no choice, will I be too bitter to resume a normal life, with hope that someone will actually love me, when my first love didn't? Will I ever stop questioning my worth? I just want to know how to tell the lies from the truth. If someone tells me that they love me whole and complete, scars and all, will I trust them? When do I know it's ok? And will these questions ever be answered? All of these questions are subject to changes in my current situation, but too close a path to not ask right now. I want answers that really no one can answer for me. I want to be normal again, without any earth shattering issues that my friends are tired of hearing about. I want to be able to say that "Everything is truly wonderful". I don't want to be ranked among those whose problems never go away. No one likes drama, least of all me, and here I am living a soap opera script. I just want to be happy again.