(no subject)
Thanks Trevor for this spectacular thingy. This is just a sign that some people have far too much time on their hands. But the lang freak in me couldn't resist sharing.
"On April 1st 2005 The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather that German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling has some room from improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be know was EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
In the first year 's' will be used instead of the soft 'c'. Sertianly sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also the hard 'c' will be replaced with 'k'. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the second year, when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced by 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20 persent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will encourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also al wil agre that the horrible mes of silent 'e' in the language is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' by 'z' and 'w' by 'v'
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords containing 'ou', and similar changes vuld of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.
Ze drem vil finali kum tru."
"On April 1st 2005 The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather that German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling has some room from improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be know was EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
In the first year 's' will be used instead of the soft 'c'. Sertianly sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also the hard 'c' will be replaced with 'k'. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the second year, when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced by 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20 persent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will encourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also al wil agre that the horrible mes of silent 'e' in the language is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' by 'z' and 'w' by 'v'
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords containing 'ou', and similar changes vuld of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.
Ze drem vil finali kum tru."