Test of Faith

[hgfirehazard]

Sometimes I wonder why things are as they are. I know that I'm not the only person to think this, live it, breathe it or anything of the sort, but sometimes I really wonder why me? I'm not calling out for help, not desperate or pleaing for things to be easier, but why do things fall my way every single time? I seem to get a good solid footing, make a few changes and get a good start, then I get this monster barrier thrown in my face that knocks me down and dazes me again. Today I got a call from Mom telling me that her Mom (my only Grandma left) had a heart attack today and that she is now in Grand Rapids. She didn't have any information for me, no idea about how serious or if she'll need surgery... if she'll be okay. She also told me that Grandpa (on my Dad's side) can barely talk because he has refused to treat his lung cancer. I thank all of your for your support and I know that it's there, but I would appreciate most if you wouldn't talk to me about it. I would prefer to use this right now as a vent, some place to just write about it. Talking about it makes it seem worse, and that isn't something I need right now. Just act like nothing is wrong, if you see me down it's okay, I can handle it. Oh, and if it seems like I'm not eating enough, it's okay don't worry about that either... I am. Just putting all of these things out in the open because they need to be said I guess. Maybe I want to ask not why, but for how much longer? I know we all have trials to endure and things we must live through, but I feel my entire life has been an uphill battle full of treacherous and dangerous pitfalls, rocks, cliffs, and anything else you can imagine. If you wish to do one thing for me, you can pray. Other than that guys I can't and won't ask for anything else.

Forever and Always,
Donavan