fic: The Life That Wasn't His Chap 1A
Title: The Life that Wasn't His
Chapter 1
Author/pseudonym: NemKess
Fandom: Saiyuki
Pairing: Hakkai/Goku main.. others to include Gojyo/Shun-Rei, Kougaiji/Yaone, Kanzeon/Jiro-kun
Rating: PG13
Status: WIP
E-mail address for feedback:: nemsmuses@msn.com
Disclaimers: Goku and Hakkai belong to me? I could only wish. Nope, not mine. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is made. This is purely to silence the voices in my head. ^_^
Notes: This just popped into my brain this evening while I was trying to get the Angel to sleep. My spelling of some names/titles could be a little off. Don't stone me for it, please?
Summary: After a serious injury, Hakkai wakes up to find things... a little different than he remembers.
Warnings: Mostly AU. Shonen ai. Het.
Previous Parts Located in my journals memories under 'Saiyuki fics'
~*~*~
It was the feel of hands and lips ghosting intimately over his body that woke Hakkai the second time.
Lost in a haze of almost forgotten pleasure and arousal, it didn't even occur to him to resist. Hakkai arched into the knowledgeable touch with a groan.
It was only as the figure above him emitted a very familiar, very masculine chuckle that Hakkai remembered that the world around him had altered so drastically and that this was very much not supposed to be happening. Before he could give protest, Goku's hands were replaced with his mouth and the older man was lost.
How long had it been since he'd allowed himself the physical euphoria only a lover could give?
Not since Kanan.
Years of celibacy broken only by the occasional guilty surrender to self-pleasure.
Hakkai still wasn't sure that this wasn't some sort of bizarre fantasy or illusion. The human turned demon hadn't ever thought of Goku in a sexual way that he could recall, but he'd always held a fondness for the seemingly innocent boy who could always offer a true smile no matter what life threw at him. It was a fondness that could, he supposed, be perverted by the enemy.
Another groan was pulled from him and all coherent, logical thought fled with it.
Right or wrong, real or imagined, in that moment it felt like he'd never wanted anything as much as he wanted to be possessed by Goku.
Ring..... Ring....
It took a second for the ringing of the phone to register on them. Once he realized what it was, he growled and glared in the direction from which the sound was coming.
Goku paused and added his own glare to Hakkai's before sighing and leaning over to snag the receiver.
"Dammit Sanzo, do you have any idea what time it is?"
Youkai enhanced hearing allowed Hakkai to hear a familiar snort coming through the receiver. "And you were obviously awake weren't you? Probably fucking your little playmate."
Green eyes widened in surprise. The younger man hadn't even given the caller a chance to identify himself. How on earth could he have known it was Sanzo? And was the disgust in Sanzo's voice for their activities or for something else?
Eyes narrowing and lips pulling back in a snarl, Goku suddenly looked eerily similar to his diadem-less counterpart. It was disconcerting to see the expression on an apparently 'tame' Goku's face, especially one with whom he'd come dangerously close to having sex. "Sanzo-"
"Oh shut it. It's not like he can hear me call him a whore, now is it?"
From the look on his bedmate's face, it was obvious that this was a long standing disagreement. His voice suspiciously calm, Goku spoke with clear precision. "If you just called to insult us again-"
There was a sigh on the line. "No. I just..." A lengthy pause and then, "The old hag was worried about you." And so was I. The unspoken words came across loud and clear to the two listeners. Golden eyes softened."I'm fine, Sanzo. And so is Hakkai. We're just a little shaken up, that's all."
"Bastard should be more careful. He's going to get himself killed one of these days."
Goku grinned wickedly and dropped a kiss onto Hakkai's nose. "I'll let him know you were worried about him."
Sanzo's voice was practically growling. "You know damn good and well I couldn't care less if he jumped off a bridge. But I know that if he..." a pause and they could hear him take a deep breath. "If he died you'd be hurt."
"Sanzo...." The younger man trailed off, looking a little sad and lost.
"The hag would be hell to live with if that happened. She'd probably blame me."
"Well, we wouldn't want that, now would we?" Goku replied, his smile returning. "So... was there anything else you needed? Or were you calling to hear some phone sex?"
Hakkai's eyes widened almost painfully and his jaw dropped. Surely Goku wasn't serious?! Things here were definitely odd and off what he was used to, but not that badly surely.
"Baka. Don't be disgusting. If I wanted phone sex I wouldn't call the pair of you. I'd call Gojyo. He and Shunrei separately have more imagination and creativity than you two combined. You're boring little shits."
Laughing, Goku tucked the phone between his head and shoulder allowing his hands free to stroke over Hakkai's body again. The demon couldn't help but moan and arch into the touch, almost forgetting their auditory audience. "I don't know.... I like it. Hakkai likes it... Works for me." Tone low and husky, it only served to make Hakkai shudder. He'd have never pegged Goku as someone with a bedroom voice, but he was quickly revising his opinion.
"Only because you don't know any better. Look, I've got an early meeting in the morning and I've still got some paperwork to deal with before I can head to bed, so I'll let you get back to it." The wry voice on the other end of the line jerked Hakkai out of his lust-induced haze and he swatted at Goku's hand, glaring for good measure. His companion chuckled and winked saucily but kept his hands away from intimate contact.
"All right." He nodded and paused for a second, biting his lip. Hakkai had to force himself to look away and only listen. "Sanzo.... If it's all right..."
Another sigh. "Take off. You wouldn't be any good here anyways worried about him. But you realize you'll have to work twice as hard when you finally do get your ass back here, right?"
"Thanks Sanzo. Don't worry, I'll catch up in no time, you'll see!"
"Rii-iight. I'll believe that when I see it. Now get some sleep, baka."
"Night Sanzo!"
"Sanzo, I take it?" Hakkai was careful to watch his companion's expressions, hoping for some hint as to what was going on. If this was some bizarre dream, then he's lost nothing to play along. It might even be his subconscious's way of trying to tell him something. He'd read that somewhere once, that all dreams were important no matter how odd they may seem. He didn't want to accidentally overlook something important.
If it was some sort of illusion or trap sent by the enemy, well.... Rash judgments and decisions had been known to get his companions into a great deal of trouble. He liked to think he was a little bit better at avoiding that.
Goku nodded. "He just wanted to make sure we were okay. He said to tell you 'Get well soon'. And he gave me a couple of days off."
Arching an eyebrow, Hakkai gave the golden-eyed man a skeptical look. That certainly hadn't been what he'd heard. "Generous of him."
"Yeah, well..." Goku chuckled and ran a gentle hand through Hakkai's hair. "So it isn't what he said. It's what he meant. And he really did give me a couple of days off." He didn't seem overly suspicious that his previous claims on Sanzo's well-wishing wasn't entirely believed, so Hakkai thought that perhaps Sanzo was always so harsh towards him. Another apparently severe deviation from the world as the green-eyed man knew it.
"He really doesn't like me, does he?"
With a sigh, his companion shifted, moving them around into a more comfortable position. In the end, Goku was settled against the pillows with Hakkai half laying on top of him, head tucked against a strong shoulder. The demon shivered faintly as his friend stroked his hair lightly. "He just... worries. He knows how much I love you and he's afraid I'll get hurt because of it, if something happened to you or if you left. And he's right, I guess. Losing you..." Goku's free arm came up to wrap tightly around Hakkai's shoulders. "I was so scared when you fell yesterday. I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you."
"Goku..." Hakkai didn't know what to say. Illusion or not... Dream or not.... Goku's emotion seemed very real to him and drew an answering well of emotion in response. "I'm sorry."
There was a faint sniffling noise and the hold on his shoulders loosened. "I know." A kiss was pressed against the crown of his forehead. "Go back to sleep. I'm sorry for waking you before." Goku laughed softly. "You just looked too damned tempting sprawled out on the bed. I couldn't help myself."
Much to Hakkai's surprise, he felt the heaviness of his eyelids make itself known. He really did feel quite worn out. And he hadn't even sorted anything out yet.
Oh well. Tomorrow was another day and perhaps he'd feel rested and well enough to begin solving his dilemma in earnest. Until then, Goku's arms were warm and inviting.
TBC
~*~*~
Author's Note:
Damn, sorry about the poor ending. I was kinda stuck and I know it sucks, but I'll try really hard to make sure that the rest of the endings aren't so bad, okies? ^_^ I wanted to thank everyone who reviewed and showed interest in the previous chapters. 1b will be out within the next couple of days. It needs a little reworking and a session with the beta, but it's mostly done already. I hope you'll continue to enjoy this fic. Thanks! NemKess
Chapter 1
Author/pseudonym: NemKess
Fandom: Saiyuki
Pairing: Hakkai/Goku main.. others to include Gojyo/Shun-Rei, Kougaiji/Yaone, Kanzeon/Jiro-kun
Rating: PG13
Status: WIP
E-mail address for feedback:: nemsmuses@msn.com
Disclaimers: Goku and Hakkai belong to me? I could only wish. Nope, not mine. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is made. This is purely to silence the voices in my head. ^_^
Notes: This just popped into my brain this evening while I was trying to get the Angel to sleep. My spelling of some names/titles could be a little off. Don't stone me for it, please?
Summary: After a serious injury, Hakkai wakes up to find things... a little different than he remembers.
Warnings: Mostly AU. Shonen ai. Het.
Previous Parts Located in my journals memories under 'Saiyuki fics'
~*~*~
It was the feel of hands and lips ghosting intimately over his body that woke Hakkai the second time.
Lost in a haze of almost forgotten pleasure and arousal, it didn't even occur to him to resist. Hakkai arched into the knowledgeable touch with a groan.
It was only as the figure above him emitted a very familiar, very masculine chuckle that Hakkai remembered that the world around him had altered so drastically and that this was very much not supposed to be happening. Before he could give protest, Goku's hands were replaced with his mouth and the older man was lost.
How long had it been since he'd allowed himself the physical euphoria only a lover could give?
Not since Kanan.
Years of celibacy broken only by the occasional guilty surrender to self-pleasure.
Hakkai still wasn't sure that this wasn't some sort of bizarre fantasy or illusion. The human turned demon hadn't ever thought of Goku in a sexual way that he could recall, but he'd always held a fondness for the seemingly innocent boy who could always offer a true smile no matter what life threw at him. It was a fondness that could, he supposed, be perverted by the enemy.
Another groan was pulled from him and all coherent, logical thought fled with it.
Right or wrong, real or imagined, in that moment it felt like he'd never wanted anything as much as he wanted to be possessed by Goku.
Ring..... Ring....
It took a second for the ringing of the phone to register on them. Once he realized what it was, he growled and glared in the direction from which the sound was coming.
Goku paused and added his own glare to Hakkai's before sighing and leaning over to snag the receiver.
"Dammit Sanzo, do you have any idea what time it is?"
Youkai enhanced hearing allowed Hakkai to hear a familiar snort coming through the receiver. "And you were obviously awake weren't you? Probably fucking your little playmate."
Green eyes widened in surprise. The younger man hadn't even given the caller a chance to identify himself. How on earth could he have known it was Sanzo? And was the disgust in Sanzo's voice for their activities or for something else?
Eyes narrowing and lips pulling back in a snarl, Goku suddenly looked eerily similar to his diadem-less counterpart. It was disconcerting to see the expression on an apparently 'tame' Goku's face, especially one with whom he'd come dangerously close to having sex. "Sanzo-"
"Oh shut it. It's not like he can hear me call him a whore, now is it?"
From the look on his bedmate's face, it was obvious that this was a long standing disagreement. His voice suspiciously calm, Goku spoke with clear precision. "If you just called to insult us again-"
There was a sigh on the line. "No. I just..." A lengthy pause and then, "The old hag was worried about you." And so was I. The unspoken words came across loud and clear to the two listeners. Golden eyes softened."I'm fine, Sanzo. And so is Hakkai. We're just a little shaken up, that's all."
"Bastard should be more careful. He's going to get himself killed one of these days."
Goku grinned wickedly and dropped a kiss onto Hakkai's nose. "I'll let him know you were worried about him."
Sanzo's voice was practically growling. "You know damn good and well I couldn't care less if he jumped off a bridge. But I know that if he..." a pause and they could hear him take a deep breath. "If he died you'd be hurt."
"Sanzo...." The younger man trailed off, looking a little sad and lost.
"The hag would be hell to live with if that happened. She'd probably blame me."
"Well, we wouldn't want that, now would we?" Goku replied, his smile returning. "So... was there anything else you needed? Or were you calling to hear some phone sex?"
Hakkai's eyes widened almost painfully and his jaw dropped. Surely Goku wasn't serious?! Things here were definitely odd and off what he was used to, but not that badly surely.
"Baka. Don't be disgusting. If I wanted phone sex I wouldn't call the pair of you. I'd call Gojyo. He and Shunrei separately have more imagination and creativity than you two combined. You're boring little shits."
Laughing, Goku tucked the phone between his head and shoulder allowing his hands free to stroke over Hakkai's body again. The demon couldn't help but moan and arch into the touch, almost forgetting their auditory audience. "I don't know.... I like it. Hakkai likes it... Works for me." Tone low and husky, it only served to make Hakkai shudder. He'd have never pegged Goku as someone with a bedroom voice, but he was quickly revising his opinion.
"Only because you don't know any better. Look, I've got an early meeting in the morning and I've still got some paperwork to deal with before I can head to bed, so I'll let you get back to it." The wry voice on the other end of the line jerked Hakkai out of his lust-induced haze and he swatted at Goku's hand, glaring for good measure. His companion chuckled and winked saucily but kept his hands away from intimate contact.
"All right." He nodded and paused for a second, biting his lip. Hakkai had to force himself to look away and only listen. "Sanzo.... If it's all right..."
Another sigh. "Take off. You wouldn't be any good here anyways worried about him. But you realize you'll have to work twice as hard when you finally do get your ass back here, right?"
"Thanks Sanzo. Don't worry, I'll catch up in no time, you'll see!"
"Rii-iight. I'll believe that when I see it. Now get some sleep, baka."
"Night Sanzo!"
"Sanzo, I take it?" Hakkai was careful to watch his companion's expressions, hoping for some hint as to what was going on. If this was some bizarre dream, then he's lost nothing to play along. It might even be his subconscious's way of trying to tell him something. He'd read that somewhere once, that all dreams were important no matter how odd they may seem. He didn't want to accidentally overlook something important.
If it was some sort of illusion or trap sent by the enemy, well.... Rash judgments and decisions had been known to get his companions into a great deal of trouble. He liked to think he was a little bit better at avoiding that.
Goku nodded. "He just wanted to make sure we were okay. He said to tell you 'Get well soon'. And he gave me a couple of days off."
Arching an eyebrow, Hakkai gave the golden-eyed man a skeptical look. That certainly hadn't been what he'd heard. "Generous of him."
"Yeah, well..." Goku chuckled and ran a gentle hand through Hakkai's hair. "So it isn't what he said. It's what he meant. And he really did give me a couple of days off." He didn't seem overly suspicious that his previous claims on Sanzo's well-wishing wasn't entirely believed, so Hakkai thought that perhaps Sanzo was always so harsh towards him. Another apparently severe deviation from the world as the green-eyed man knew it.
"He really doesn't like me, does he?"
With a sigh, his companion shifted, moving them around into a more comfortable position. In the end, Goku was settled against the pillows with Hakkai half laying on top of him, head tucked against a strong shoulder. The demon shivered faintly as his friend stroked his hair lightly. "He just... worries. He knows how much I love you and he's afraid I'll get hurt because of it, if something happened to you or if you left. And he's right, I guess. Losing you..." Goku's free arm came up to wrap tightly around Hakkai's shoulders. "I was so scared when you fell yesterday. I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you."
"Goku..." Hakkai didn't know what to say. Illusion or not... Dream or not.... Goku's emotion seemed very real to him and drew an answering well of emotion in response. "I'm sorry."
There was a faint sniffling noise and the hold on his shoulders loosened. "I know." A kiss was pressed against the crown of his forehead. "Go back to sleep. I'm sorry for waking you before." Goku laughed softly. "You just looked too damned tempting sprawled out on the bed. I couldn't help myself."
Much to Hakkai's surprise, he felt the heaviness of his eyelids make itself known. He really did feel quite worn out. And he hadn't even sorted anything out yet.
Oh well. Tomorrow was another day and perhaps he'd feel rested and well enough to begin solving his dilemma in earnest. Until then, Goku's arms were warm and inviting.
TBC
~*~*~
Author's Note:
Damn, sorry about the poor ending. I was kinda stuck and I know it sucks, but I'll try really hard to make sure that the rest of the endings aren't so bad, okies? ^_^ I wanted to thank everyone who reviewed and showed interest in the previous chapters. 1b will be out within the next couple of days. It needs a little reworking and a session with the beta, but it's mostly done already. I hope you'll continue to enjoy this fic. Thanks! NemKess