Hamlet has the word ham in it. Coincidence?
[Edit:]By the way. You can't tell me this shit doesn't happen. I watch Oprah.
[Re-Edit:] Just so you know. Things sure as hell aren't fine and dandy, this was just sort of one of those good moments.
For those of you who noticed. No, my theme isn't intended to be morbid. Its from a Yevgeny Yevtushenko poem called "Late Tears". The verse goes:
I don't want to weep, but to howl like a dog,
only the freshly painted coffin smells as though new,
and alongside this grave that has swallowed my friend,
there's no strength to cry and no strength not to.
He's a post-Stalin era poet. He's allowed to be sad.
I had this long ass kvetch typed up, but in attempt to reply to one of Rene's post, I lost it all. Here's my best shot at doing it again.
I have't update for a long while, on purpose mind you. I wanted that last one to stay up there for as long as I could manage. I'll let you all think its to whomever you want, but let me tell you, you're wrong.
In any case, a large part of this evening was spent kvetching with Jesus about our respective diets. He's on some sort of vegetarian Atkins (meaning he eats eggs & drinks water) and I'm on Vegan no starches or junkfood. Neither of us are obese, so it really is just attempt to get others to look at us a little differently.
In the words of Jesus:
Jesus: we have bodies most people would look at by most standards and go
Jesus: oh they're nice people
Jesus: funny
Jesus: good friends
Jesus: you know what though, we're in that weird in between mark
Jesus: were we're neither or
Jesus: and so like
Jesus: the chubby chasers are like egh
Jesus: and the toothpick fuckers are like egh
But I want someone to love me for who i am. Diet-Sam is NOT who I am. It just isn't. I'm a person who likes food, and I love people who love food. Its absolutely endearing.
It comes down to the fact that in order to get someone to love me, they have to be attracted first, and initial attraction is largely attributed to physical aesthetics; a department in which weight is the only lacking feature that I can easily alter.
So in order to get someone to love me for who I am, I have to fool them with Diet-Sam for a while.
The most amusing part of this, for me at least, came in the form of my late night rendition of Sam's Soliloquy from Diet 2004.
to kill the diet beast, or not to kill the diet beast, that is the question.
whether tis nobler in the fat to suffer
the slings and arrows of crappy metabolism,
or to eat bread against a sea of troubles,
and by eating, end them. to eat, to sleep,
to eat more. and by a sleep to say we end
the heartache, and the extra pounds
my flesh is heir to, ah consuming,
devoutly, how i wish. to eat, to sleep,
to sleep perchance to dream of eating,. ay there's the crisco.
for in that sleep of fat what dreams may come,
for when i waddle off this horrendous diet,
must give us jenny craig.
*bows*
[Re-Edit:] Just so you know. Things sure as hell aren't fine and dandy, this was just sort of one of those good moments.
For those of you who noticed. No, my theme isn't intended to be morbid. Its from a Yevgeny Yevtushenko poem called "Late Tears". The verse goes:
I don't want to weep, but to howl like a dog,
only the freshly painted coffin smells as though new,
and alongside this grave that has swallowed my friend,
there's no strength to cry and no strength not to.
He's a post-Stalin era poet. He's allowed to be sad.
I had this long ass kvetch typed up, but in attempt to reply to one of Rene's post, I lost it all. Here's my best shot at doing it again.
I have't update for a long while, on purpose mind you. I wanted that last one to stay up there for as long as I could manage. I'll let you all think its to whomever you want, but let me tell you, you're wrong.
In any case, a large part of this evening was spent kvetching with Jesus about our respective diets. He's on some sort of vegetarian Atkins (meaning he eats eggs & drinks water) and I'm on Vegan no starches or junkfood. Neither of us are obese, so it really is just attempt to get others to look at us a little differently.
In the words of Jesus:
Jesus: we have bodies most people would look at by most standards and go
Jesus: oh they're nice people
Jesus: funny
Jesus: good friends
Jesus: you know what though, we're in that weird in between mark
Jesus: were we're neither or
Jesus: and so like
Jesus: the chubby chasers are like egh
Jesus: and the toothpick fuckers are like egh
But I want someone to love me for who i am. Diet-Sam is NOT who I am. It just isn't. I'm a person who likes food, and I love people who love food. Its absolutely endearing.
It comes down to the fact that in order to get someone to love me, they have to be attracted first, and initial attraction is largely attributed to physical aesthetics; a department in which weight is the only lacking feature that I can easily alter.
So in order to get someone to love me for who I am, I have to fool them with Diet-Sam for a while.
The most amusing part of this, for me at least, came in the form of my late night rendition of Sam's Soliloquy from Diet 2004.
to kill the diet beast, or not to kill the diet beast, that is the question.
whether tis nobler in the fat to suffer
the slings and arrows of crappy metabolism,
or to eat bread against a sea of troubles,
and by eating, end them. to eat, to sleep,
to eat more. and by a sleep to say we end
the heartache, and the extra pounds
my flesh is heir to, ah consuming,
devoutly, how i wish. to eat, to sleep,
to sleep perchance to dream of eating,. ay there's the crisco.
for in that sleep of fat what dreams may come,
for when i waddle off this horrendous diet,
must give us jenny craig.
*bows*