Don't MAKE me have a seizure on your floor bitch.
Yesterday ended up being fun indeed.
Some time in the early evening Jesus gave me the (wrong) address to where he was house sitting, called (then gave me the right one)watched AbFab Celebrity Spelling Bee Queer Eye over the phone with me, and told me I could come and visit.
I went over to the house, which is both creepy and really nice. Apparently the owner died in the house. Anyway, Jesus and I, once inside, watched a bit of Monster's Ball, in which Halle Berry beats the shit out of some fat kid for being fat. Naturally, Jesus and I repeated that moment over and again amongst ourselves.
We then set about looking for the inside foam part of the dog's bed, which was proving rather illusive. So we went to be amused by the birds (one who barks, woofs, and does that "hey hot stuff" whistle, and another who whistles "La Cucaracha") and then let in the ADHD dog whose bed we had been searching for. The door was incredibly difficult to open because the key had to be turned just right. Anyway, eventually, we got the door open, and thought to ourselves that perhaps the dog's bed was outside. And out we went, in search of the dog's bed.
After a brief period of looking, Jesus asked me if I had the key to the door. Of course, I didn't. We then discovered, to our horror, that we were locked out. We agonized over that fact for a brief period, then walked around the exterior of the house, pulling at the many doors. I even jumped over the wall to try the front door. Paranoid as we are, every door to the house was locked. Feeling immensely unlucky, we knew the gods had damned us. Jesus asked me if calling 911 would be a bad option. I thought it definetly would, considering that the police don't know that he's house sitting and not just some random teenager trying to break into this house.
Alas, we meandered back over to the porch area to brain storm. I tried again in vain to open the back door, only to notice that I could put part of my finger through the gate/screen thing in the back door. My brain was storming. Jesus could see it. We looked around for something long and hard enough (*cough*) that I could put it in the door and push the latch open. I found some sort of rod in a flower pot and thus, triumphantly opened the door. And there was much rejoicing
(yay.)
Once inside we proceeded to look for the dog bed, and after giving up, looked through the kitchen for anything resembling food. The residents of the house apparently like to buy popsicles, but not eat them. So Jesus partook of some popsicles. We then noticed a bottle of Rieslig (German wine) of which Jesus partook (and I took a mini-swig because he wanted me to taste it)...it apparently is good either as an aperitif or complimenting your favorite light-textured dead animal.
We then proceeded to look through the rest of the kitchen, finding many teas, cake molds and asbestos (okay..so it was just the insulation that covers the vent for the stove, but it surely looked asbestos-ish). Soon after, Jesus' mom, sister, god mother and...god mother's son, arrived, during which time Jesus' mother informed us that the dog bed foam thing we had been looking for no longer existed. The dog ate it.
Then Jesus and I sat around looking at my laptop and all the random pictures on it, and browsing the livejournal entries that my laptop had made available offline. It was amusing indeed. I discovered that I am a LJ addict, and wanted to know who had updated. Thus Jesus called Carlos, who, along with informing us of updates, compared "gay music collections" with me. It was incredibly amusing. Basically, it involved Jesus and I sitting in the house computer room area on the carpet singing random songs. We then returned to the living room and watched...what ever was on.
I don't really remember the rest of the night. Towards the end, we ended up watching part of the Basketball Diaries and briefly talking to Jonathan on the phone. Then I, tiredly, went home. Where I ate. And felt fat. And then ended the night by sitting online in AOL in a chat room full of gay men.
I had several immensely disturbing dreams. In one I was at Keuka, and it apparently was parents weekend. I was staying with Maleia (we had matching wooden futons), and it seemed to be uber late, around 4am, but the parents were all still there, and it seemed like all of the students were out getting drunk. So naturally, I was trying to take care of the parents, telling them where to go and making sure things were going smoothly in our dorm. At some point, I went outside and had to have someone let me in. When I got in and went to Mai's room, I found that she had moved my futon out of the room and was using my computer for some random purpose, and so I was pissed off that I was taking care of all these parents and my stuff had been messed with. I was so mad I just sit down briefly and thought that the reason I didn't have a key was because I turned it in to residents life and because i didn't go to school there any more (which indeed, is what happened). I wanted to go find MaiMai and figure out wtf was going on and why she had moved my stuff, and I knew she'd be up at Davis with Charlie and Evan, but I couldn't leave because I would be locked out again. I was so pissed off. The end.
Then I had another weird dream...which I won't discuss. But it was VERY disturbing...and
I was the only one in it.
Some time in the early evening Jesus gave me the (wrong) address to where he was house sitting, called (then gave me the right one)watched AbFab Celebrity Spelling Bee Queer Eye over the phone with me, and told me I could come and visit.
I went over to the house, which is both creepy and really nice. Apparently the owner died in the house. Anyway, Jesus and I, once inside, watched a bit of Monster's Ball, in which Halle Berry beats the shit out of some fat kid for being fat. Naturally, Jesus and I repeated that moment over and again amongst ourselves.
We then set about looking for the inside foam part of the dog's bed, which was proving rather illusive. So we went to be amused by the birds (one who barks, woofs, and does that "hey hot stuff" whistle, and another who whistles "La Cucaracha") and then let in the ADHD dog whose bed we had been searching for. The door was incredibly difficult to open because the key had to be turned just right. Anyway, eventually, we got the door open, and thought to ourselves that perhaps the dog's bed was outside. And out we went, in search of the dog's bed.
After a brief period of looking, Jesus asked me if I had the key to the door. Of course, I didn't. We then discovered, to our horror, that we were locked out. We agonized over that fact for a brief period, then walked around the exterior of the house, pulling at the many doors. I even jumped over the wall to try the front door. Paranoid as we are, every door to the house was locked. Feeling immensely unlucky, we knew the gods had damned us. Jesus asked me if calling 911 would be a bad option. I thought it definetly would, considering that the police don't know that he's house sitting and not just some random teenager trying to break into this house.
Alas, we meandered back over to the porch area to brain storm. I tried again in vain to open the back door, only to notice that I could put part of my finger through the gate/screen thing in the back door. My brain was storming. Jesus could see it. We looked around for something long and hard enough (*cough*) that I could put it in the door and push the latch open. I found some sort of rod in a flower pot and thus, triumphantly opened the door. And there was much rejoicing
(yay.)
Once inside we proceeded to look for the dog bed, and after giving up, looked through the kitchen for anything resembling food. The residents of the house apparently like to buy popsicles, but not eat them. So Jesus partook of some popsicles. We then noticed a bottle of Rieslig (German wine) of which Jesus partook (and I took a mini-swig because he wanted me to taste it)...it apparently is good either as an aperitif or complimenting your favorite light-textured dead animal.
We then proceeded to look through the rest of the kitchen, finding many teas, cake molds and asbestos (okay..so it was just the insulation that covers the vent for the stove, but it surely looked asbestos-ish). Soon after, Jesus' mom, sister, god mother and...god mother's son, arrived, during which time Jesus' mother informed us that the dog bed foam thing we had been looking for no longer existed. The dog ate it.
Then Jesus and I sat around looking at my laptop and all the random pictures on it, and browsing the livejournal entries that my laptop had made available offline. It was amusing indeed. I discovered that I am a LJ addict, and wanted to know who had updated. Thus Jesus called Carlos, who, along with informing us of updates, compared "gay music collections" with me. It was incredibly amusing. Basically, it involved Jesus and I sitting in the house computer room area on the carpet singing random songs. We then returned to the living room and watched...what ever was on.
I don't really remember the rest of the night. Towards the end, we ended up watching part of the Basketball Diaries and briefly talking to Jonathan on the phone. Then I, tiredly, went home. Where I ate. And felt fat. And then ended the night by sitting online in AOL in a chat room full of gay men.
I had several immensely disturbing dreams. In one I was at Keuka, and it apparently was parents weekend. I was staying with Maleia (we had matching wooden futons), and it seemed to be uber late, around 4am, but the parents were all still there, and it seemed like all of the students were out getting drunk. So naturally, I was trying to take care of the parents, telling them where to go and making sure things were going smoothly in our dorm. At some point, I went outside and had to have someone let me in. When I got in and went to Mai's room, I found that she had moved my futon out of the room and was using my computer for some random purpose, and so I was pissed off that I was taking care of all these parents and my stuff had been messed with. I was so mad I just sit down briefly and thought that the reason I didn't have a key was because I turned it in to residents life and because i didn't go to school there any more (which indeed, is what happened). I wanted to go find MaiMai and figure out wtf was going on and why she had moved my stuff, and I knew she'd be up at Davis with Charlie and Evan, but I couldn't leave because I would be locked out again. I was so pissed off. The end.
Then I had another weird dream...which I won't discuss. But it was VERY disturbing...and
I was the only one in it.