What I wouldn't give
Rant mode on for a minute. Particularly in this time of year, when gratitude is encouraged to be at a high, there's been a ton of posting of those "inspirational" word graphics to the effect of "There are people who would love to have your bad days", "There are people who would give anything to have your problems", etc. Yeah. I freaking hate them.
Before hitting Share, I ask you to think of the effects of those words on the people around you who are struggling. Who just lost a relationship or spouse or parent. Who couldn't afford to give, or know they won't receive, any holiday presents, or possibly even any companionship. Who lost their job. Who battle depression or chronic illness. Who are losing their home, their pet, a loved one, or anything else. Or everything else. Who can't afford groceries. Who are staring down the threat of an early death. Who fight just to get out of bed in the morning. Let me say it clearly: THOSE WORDS ARE HURTING US.
Maybe you're posting these graphics as a message to yourself, not considering the others you know. Maybe we're not refugees, or abused protesters, or stuck in a war zone, or fighting a police state. Maybe we're only fighting our own brains, our own bodies, our own loneliness. We're still fighting. You don't know what every person around you battles or yearns for or has lost or will never have.
And those inspographics, with their fancy fonts and admonishing messages, don't inspire us to magically be more grateful for the few things we do have left. They inspire guilt. They inspire shame. They steal away the hope and strength needed to process grief, trauma, stress, or loss by telling us that we should just be grateful, that we shouldn't complain or want because somewhere, someone out there has it worse than us.
A final thought. When you do run across those graphics, especially if they're hurting you, picture that this theoretical person who would give anything to have your problems, is not a refugee, a victim, a faceless imaginary person, but your own past or future self - whether in two decades, two years, two months, or even two minutes. Then take stock of what's around you - without comparing it to anyone else, whether better off or worse off. Life can change in a second. Take a minute and just be. That is the only positive takeaway I can possibly think of for these graphics - to be present in the moment, not to bootstrap up and deny your emotions just because another person may have different suffering.
Before hitting Share, I ask you to think of the effects of those words on the people around you who are struggling. Who just lost a relationship or spouse or parent. Who couldn't afford to give, or know they won't receive, any holiday presents, or possibly even any companionship. Who lost their job. Who battle depression or chronic illness. Who are losing their home, their pet, a loved one, or anything else. Or everything else. Who can't afford groceries. Who are staring down the threat of an early death. Who fight just to get out of bed in the morning. Let me say it clearly: THOSE WORDS ARE HURTING US.
Maybe you're posting these graphics as a message to yourself, not considering the others you know. Maybe we're not refugees, or abused protesters, or stuck in a war zone, or fighting a police state. Maybe we're only fighting our own brains, our own bodies, our own loneliness. We're still fighting. You don't know what every person around you battles or yearns for or has lost or will never have.
And those inspographics, with their fancy fonts and admonishing messages, don't inspire us to magically be more grateful for the few things we do have left. They inspire guilt. They inspire shame. They steal away the hope and strength needed to process grief, trauma, stress, or loss by telling us that we should just be grateful, that we shouldn't complain or want because somewhere, someone out there has it worse than us.
A final thought. When you do run across those graphics, especially if they're hurting you, picture that this theoretical person who would give anything to have your problems, is not a refugee, a victim, a faceless imaginary person, but your own past or future self - whether in two decades, two years, two months, or even two minutes. Then take stock of what's around you - without comparing it to anyone else, whether better off or worse off. Life can change in a second. Take a minute and just be. That is the only positive takeaway I can possibly think of for these graphics - to be present in the moment, not to bootstrap up and deny your emotions just because another person may have different suffering.