(no subject)
You ever spend days looking out your window, or looking at a wall and wondering how the fuck you got where you were? I mean the world has existed for a countless number of years before I was born and it will exist for countless numbers of years once I die and I spend most of my life waiting for a phone call that never comes, or moments that never seem to get there either?
Sometimes I feel like there are unreasonable expectations for me, but is that true? I have no fuckin idea. It is weird spending your days just waiting for it to be tomorrow. It isn't always like that I guess. I've got it pretty good. I do, I honestly do. But sometimes I just feel like I don't have any answers. Just working every damn day, gathering paychecks and watching the clock until the day comes that I will be elsewhere.
I always feel like Im missing out on something, somewhere and I don't have a reason for that. The grass isn't always greener. I don't feel like a failure, I am doing things just fine. I don't have any reason to want to be in Mexico other than I am making a shit ton of money here. No girlfriend, no friends, no life, no interest in leaving the house. It is pretty nice when you spend $50 dollars a week. By the time it is New Years, I will have the student loans all taken care of. Whatever, who gives a shit. It's just money. I wasnt ever the type of person to give a shit about that.
I really just want something real in my life. I dont know if thats a woman, or a hobby or something that I can look forward to. I dont really have that here even if I have most everything else.
Sometimes I feel like there are unreasonable expectations for me, but is that true? I have no fuckin idea. It is weird spending your days just waiting for it to be tomorrow. It isn't always like that I guess. I've got it pretty good. I do, I honestly do. But sometimes I just feel like I don't have any answers. Just working every damn day, gathering paychecks and watching the clock until the day comes that I will be elsewhere.
I always feel like Im missing out on something, somewhere and I don't have a reason for that. The grass isn't always greener. I don't feel like a failure, I am doing things just fine. I don't have any reason to want to be in Mexico other than I am making a shit ton of money here. No girlfriend, no friends, no life, no interest in leaving the house. It is pretty nice when you spend $50 dollars a week. By the time it is New Years, I will have the student loans all taken care of. Whatever, who gives a shit. It's just money. I wasnt ever the type of person to give a shit about that.
I really just want something real in my life. I dont know if thats a woman, or a hobby or something that I can look forward to. I dont really have that here even if I have most everything else.