Clowning Around
Title: Clowning Around
Author: Hezekiah
Disclaimer: Dear BBC, I don't own this stuff. You do. I might own the clown nose. Or something like it. So there.
Rating: G
Characters/Pairings: Ten/Donna
Warnings: This fic contains clowns. I take no responsibility for any childhood fears the reader may have of those damn creatures. Consider yourself warned.
Genre: Friendship
Summary: Donna, a camera, and a trip to the circus...
Author's note: 'Kay, so...I got really tired of working on One Question and Witnessing the Protector. And then I saw pictures of DT from Comic Relief and started clowning around and challenged myself to write a fic in less than hour based on one of the photos. This is what emerged.
“Not on your life...or is that lives, Spaceman! I ain't letting you have it!”
There was a slam and the sound of a lock turning. The Doctor stood outside his companion's room and growled in frustration.
It had all started when Donna had found the camera in the attic.
Why and how Donna had even gotten into the attic was still a matter for the Doctor to discern. The TARDIS' many attics was where he tended to store his more dangerous and sinister relics. It was not a place where his companions should go exploring lest they accidentally release something that could blow a hole in the fabric of space and time. Or, at the very least, let out something that gave him a nasty rash in a rather embarrassing place for a few weeks. No, the attics weren't safe, though he hadn't exactly forbidden Donna to go adventuring in the attic. And...even if he had, he doubted she would have listened.
The camera itself wasn't dangerous. It was just an old DSLR camera from the 21st century, but Donna had never owned one and it turned out she had a thing for photography.
He thought back to earlier in the day, when she'd erupted into the console room, waving it triumphantly, and begged the Doctor to take her to a place where she could take proper pictures.
He shrugged. “Well, ok. How about the mountains? Lovely trees, huge lake that reflects the sky...”
Donna scowled. “Who d'you think I am, Sunshine? Ansel bloody Adams? No, I'm not into nature photography. I want to take photos of people...oh! A circus! I want to take photos of the circus!”
The Doctor frowned. “The circus? As in hot and sticky and idiots in cages whipping poor animals into submi...”
“Listen, Mr. RSPCA, if it bothers you that much, isn't there some sort of futuristic circus that's more your taste? Didn't say it had to be a circus from my time!”
He crossed his arms. “Doesn't matter. A circus is a circus no matter where it occurs in space and time. It's still bound to have...clowns.”
“Clowns?” Donna looked momentarily confused and then a grin spread across her face. “What's wrong with clowns, Doctor? You're not telling me you're scared of them, are you?”
“Me?!” he squeaked before drawing himself up straight. “I'm the Doctor! I'm over nine hundred years old...”
Donna flapped her hand like it was talking and rolled her eyes. “Blabbity blah blah blah 'I'm the Oncoming Storm' yadda yadda. It don't work on me, Timeboy.”
“Well, I am!” The Time Lord deflated, even though he tried to maintain some measure of his “Bringer of Darkness” posture. “Fine! You want a circus! I'll give you a circus.” He turned to the console and started entering coordinates. “Caspulius Four, the circus planet. Greatest Show in the Universe, so they claim. And no...” he shot a finger at her, “they don't abuse the animals. It's been outlawed for at least seven centuries at this point in history. They're all robots now.”
“I'll bet PETA would be glad to hear that.”
The TARDIS landed moments later and Donna eagerly slung the camera around her neck. The Doctor noticed that she seemed very excited and he remembered once that Wilf had told him that one of his favorite memories of Donna's childhood had been the day they'd all gone to the circus together as a family. Donna had been absolutely enthralled with everything she'd seen. He suspected that circuses must have a special place in his companion's heart. She sailed out the door and he could barely keep up with her as she scurried over to the nearest tent.
The planet held circuses from all over the known universes, with each continent catering to a particular show or theme. The tent that Donna ran towards happened to have been designed to mimic the circuses from Earth's history. She stopped in the doorway and let out a gasp of appreciation at the care and design that had gone into the show. As the Doctor strode up behind her and followed her gaze around the interior, he had to agree.
The tent was a classic three ring design. Wooden planked seats rose above the sawdust covered floor. The dim shadows of a trapeze apparatus waved gently in the dark recesses of the big top. Just barely visible was the thin line of a highwire, promising death-defying acts to come. An old fashioned animal cage occupied one ring. Donna grabbed the Doctor's hand and made her way over to an empty ringside seat. She snapped photos of the tent as the stands filled with humans and aliens alike, eager to catch the afternoon show.
As the ringmaster, clad in traditional black and red top hat and tails, stepped into the center ring to a bleating fanfare from the android musicians in the band, the Doctor found himself smiling. Circuses had never really been to his taste, but even he appreciated a proper spectacle (as long as no one was getting hurt), and that certainly described a circus. He oohed and aahed along with Donna when she wasn't clicking the shutter of the camera at the amazing circus acts of bravery and skill.
That is, until the clowns arrived.
Donna hadn't noticed when the Doctor had gone silent and shifted in his seat with obvious discomfort. She was too busy giggling as two hundred clowns seemingly erupted from a small hovercar in the center ring. Some of them began juggling, others began lighting their pants on fire, and a few simply threw pies at each other. The circus had just become a top-notch, first class looney bin as far as the Doctor was concerned. Disgusted, he stood just as the ringmaster announced, “Ladies and Gentlebeings and Those of the Androgynous Persuasion! Our horde of clowns needs a volunteer! Who would like to join...oh! You, sir!”
The spotlight hit the Doctor full in the face and he cried out in pain, throwing one pinstriped arm up to block the glare of the lights. Donna clapped her hands and cheered in delight as two clowns hauled the bewildered Time Lord down from his place in the audience to the ring below. The Doctor protested loudly, but there's really not much you can do when you're surrounded by clowns. One of them shoved a silly red nose on his face and the audience roared with laughter.
From his perspective, the strange makeup-clad performers grinning their freakish grins at him seemed almost as bad as facing down thousands of Daleks...and he'd done that more times than he'd recalled. In fact, he'd rather face down whole legions of Daleks and Cybermen and Zygons than be surrounded by clowns. He turned in a frantic circle, but everywhere he looked, there they were...clowns. Dozens of clowns.
With a yelp, the Doctor whipped out his sonic screwdriver and aimed it at the hovercar. A moment later, the car roared into life and began speeding around the perimeter of the ring. The clowns all shrieked and raced after the car. The audience laughed uproariously, thinking this was part of the show. Only Donna wasn't laughing. She watched with dismay as the figure of the Doctor beat a hasty retreat towards the exit, leaping over the low wall surrounding the ring. His nose had fallen off. Donna stood and hurried after the Doctor. One of the clowns managed to jump inside the driverless car and pull it to a halt. The ringmaster made an annoyed gesture at the posse of clowns and they all piled back inside as the band played a “ta-da!” note.
Donna caught up with the harried Doctor inside the control room. He was leaning against the console and breathing hard. “Spaceman, you should have told me you were afraid of clowns!”
He shot her an irritated glance. “I'm not afraid of them, Donna. I just don't...like them very much. It's the makeup and the falsity...there's something so sinister about...”
She shrugged and offered him a placating smile. “A lot of people feel that way about clowns. Nothing to be embarrassed about.”
“I'm the last of the Time Lords. I shouldn't let clowns disturb me.”
“Yeah, well...I don't like the Wombles much either, do I? They're a bit freaky if you ask me. Oh, that reminds me. You dropped this.” She reached into her pocket and held out the red clown nose.
The usually congenial Doctor was still a bit miffed over the “clown incident,” as Donna would come to call it. He shot her his patented “Oncoming Storm” look, which never really worked on his ginger companion. She merely grinned before shoving the nose onto his face and snapping a quick photo before tearing off down the corridor. “Ooooh!” she squealed, glancing down at the viewing screen as she ran. “This one's a keeper!”
The Doctor was fast, but Donna could really move when she wanted to...which lead him to the present.
“You can't stay in there forever! I should know!”
But Donna wasn't phased. He heard the sound of a sarcastic laugh come from the other side of the door. “Oh, don't get your knickers in a twist, Dumbo! I'll erase it. After all, can't have the almighty Time Lord brought down to the level of a clown now, can we?”
The lock turned after a moment. Donna opened the door handed the camera to the Doctor. “See. All gone. It was all in good fun, Doctor.”
The Doctor sped through the pictures of the circus and sure enough, there was no sign of the humiliating photo. He let out a sigh of relief. “Donna Noble, you are impossible.”
She flashed him a cheeky grin. “Yep, and you like impossible.” She ruffled his hair before stepping into the corridor. “Someone has to keep you on your toes. Tea and biscuits?”
He smirked back at her. “If there's any left. If I recall, you ate the last ones from the tin.”
She huffed in indignation. “I did no such thing! It's you, with your appetite the size of an elephant. Honestly, I don't know where you put it all...”
The two friends wandered down the corridor of the TARDIS, congenially arguing. Donna afforded herself one last glance back at her room before they turned the bend in the corridor. She smiled to herself at the knowledge of the extra SD card that was tucked safely in her lingerie drawer...the one she'd switched out on her way back to the TARDIS and had again switched when she'd locked herself in her room. It held only one photograph...
Author: Hezekiah
Disclaimer: Dear BBC, I don't own this stuff. You do. I might own the clown nose. Or something like it. So there.
Rating: G
Characters/Pairings: Ten/Donna
Warnings: This fic contains clowns. I take no responsibility for any childhood fears the reader may have of those damn creatures. Consider yourself warned.
Genre: Friendship
Summary: Donna, a camera, and a trip to the circus...
Author's note: 'Kay, so...I got really tired of working on One Question and Witnessing the Protector. And then I saw pictures of DT from Comic Relief and started clowning around and challenged myself to write a fic in less than hour based on one of the photos. This is what emerged.
“Not on your life...or is that lives, Spaceman! I ain't letting you have it!”
There was a slam and the sound of a lock turning. The Doctor stood outside his companion's room and growled in frustration.
It had all started when Donna had found the camera in the attic.
Why and how Donna had even gotten into the attic was still a matter for the Doctor to discern. The TARDIS' many attics was where he tended to store his more dangerous and sinister relics. It was not a place where his companions should go exploring lest they accidentally release something that could blow a hole in the fabric of space and time. Or, at the very least, let out something that gave him a nasty rash in a rather embarrassing place for a few weeks. No, the attics weren't safe, though he hadn't exactly forbidden Donna to go adventuring in the attic. And...even if he had, he doubted she would have listened.
The camera itself wasn't dangerous. It was just an old DSLR camera from the 21st century, but Donna had never owned one and it turned out she had a thing for photography.
He thought back to earlier in the day, when she'd erupted into the console room, waving it triumphantly, and begged the Doctor to take her to a place where she could take proper pictures.
He shrugged. “Well, ok. How about the mountains? Lovely trees, huge lake that reflects the sky...”
Donna scowled. “Who d'you think I am, Sunshine? Ansel bloody Adams? No, I'm not into nature photography. I want to take photos of people...oh! A circus! I want to take photos of the circus!”
The Doctor frowned. “The circus? As in hot and sticky and idiots in cages whipping poor animals into submi...”
“Listen, Mr. RSPCA, if it bothers you that much, isn't there some sort of futuristic circus that's more your taste? Didn't say it had to be a circus from my time!”
He crossed his arms. “Doesn't matter. A circus is a circus no matter where it occurs in space and time. It's still bound to have...clowns.”
“Clowns?” Donna looked momentarily confused and then a grin spread across her face. “What's wrong with clowns, Doctor? You're not telling me you're scared of them, are you?”
“Me?!” he squeaked before drawing himself up straight. “I'm the Doctor! I'm over nine hundred years old...”
Donna flapped her hand like it was talking and rolled her eyes. “Blabbity blah blah blah 'I'm the Oncoming Storm' yadda yadda. It don't work on me, Timeboy.”
“Well, I am!” The Time Lord deflated, even though he tried to maintain some measure of his “Bringer of Darkness” posture. “Fine! You want a circus! I'll give you a circus.” He turned to the console and started entering coordinates. “Caspulius Four, the circus planet. Greatest Show in the Universe, so they claim. And no...” he shot a finger at her, “they don't abuse the animals. It's been outlawed for at least seven centuries at this point in history. They're all robots now.”
“I'll bet PETA would be glad to hear that.”
The TARDIS landed moments later and Donna eagerly slung the camera around her neck. The Doctor noticed that she seemed very excited and he remembered once that Wilf had told him that one of his favorite memories of Donna's childhood had been the day they'd all gone to the circus together as a family. Donna had been absolutely enthralled with everything she'd seen. He suspected that circuses must have a special place in his companion's heart. She sailed out the door and he could barely keep up with her as she scurried over to the nearest tent.
The planet held circuses from all over the known universes, with each continent catering to a particular show or theme. The tent that Donna ran towards happened to have been designed to mimic the circuses from Earth's history. She stopped in the doorway and let out a gasp of appreciation at the care and design that had gone into the show. As the Doctor strode up behind her and followed her gaze around the interior, he had to agree.
The tent was a classic three ring design. Wooden planked seats rose above the sawdust covered floor. The dim shadows of a trapeze apparatus waved gently in the dark recesses of the big top. Just barely visible was the thin line of a highwire, promising death-defying acts to come. An old fashioned animal cage occupied one ring. Donna grabbed the Doctor's hand and made her way over to an empty ringside seat. She snapped photos of the tent as the stands filled with humans and aliens alike, eager to catch the afternoon show.
As the ringmaster, clad in traditional black and red top hat and tails, stepped into the center ring to a bleating fanfare from the android musicians in the band, the Doctor found himself smiling. Circuses had never really been to his taste, but even he appreciated a proper spectacle (as long as no one was getting hurt), and that certainly described a circus. He oohed and aahed along with Donna when she wasn't clicking the shutter of the camera at the amazing circus acts of bravery and skill.
That is, until the clowns arrived.
Donna hadn't noticed when the Doctor had gone silent and shifted in his seat with obvious discomfort. She was too busy giggling as two hundred clowns seemingly erupted from a small hovercar in the center ring. Some of them began juggling, others began lighting their pants on fire, and a few simply threw pies at each other. The circus had just become a top-notch, first class looney bin as far as the Doctor was concerned. Disgusted, he stood just as the ringmaster announced, “Ladies and Gentlebeings and Those of the Androgynous Persuasion! Our horde of clowns needs a volunteer! Who would like to join...oh! You, sir!”
The spotlight hit the Doctor full in the face and he cried out in pain, throwing one pinstriped arm up to block the glare of the lights. Donna clapped her hands and cheered in delight as two clowns hauled the bewildered Time Lord down from his place in the audience to the ring below. The Doctor protested loudly, but there's really not much you can do when you're surrounded by clowns. One of them shoved a silly red nose on his face and the audience roared with laughter.
From his perspective, the strange makeup-clad performers grinning their freakish grins at him seemed almost as bad as facing down thousands of Daleks...and he'd done that more times than he'd recalled. In fact, he'd rather face down whole legions of Daleks and Cybermen and Zygons than be surrounded by clowns. He turned in a frantic circle, but everywhere he looked, there they were...clowns. Dozens of clowns.
With a yelp, the Doctor whipped out his sonic screwdriver and aimed it at the hovercar. A moment later, the car roared into life and began speeding around the perimeter of the ring. The clowns all shrieked and raced after the car. The audience laughed uproariously, thinking this was part of the show. Only Donna wasn't laughing. She watched with dismay as the figure of the Doctor beat a hasty retreat towards the exit, leaping over the low wall surrounding the ring. His nose had fallen off. Donna stood and hurried after the Doctor. One of the clowns managed to jump inside the driverless car and pull it to a halt. The ringmaster made an annoyed gesture at the posse of clowns and they all piled back inside as the band played a “ta-da!” note.
Donna caught up with the harried Doctor inside the control room. He was leaning against the console and breathing hard. “Spaceman, you should have told me you were afraid of clowns!”
He shot her an irritated glance. “I'm not afraid of them, Donna. I just don't...like them very much. It's the makeup and the falsity...there's something so sinister about...”
She shrugged and offered him a placating smile. “A lot of people feel that way about clowns. Nothing to be embarrassed about.”
“I'm the last of the Time Lords. I shouldn't let clowns disturb me.”
“Yeah, well...I don't like the Wombles much either, do I? They're a bit freaky if you ask me. Oh, that reminds me. You dropped this.” She reached into her pocket and held out the red clown nose.
The usually congenial Doctor was still a bit miffed over the “clown incident,” as Donna would come to call it. He shot her his patented “Oncoming Storm” look, which never really worked on his ginger companion. She merely grinned before shoving the nose onto his face and snapping a quick photo before tearing off down the corridor. “Ooooh!” she squealed, glancing down at the viewing screen as she ran. “This one's a keeper!”
The Doctor was fast, but Donna could really move when she wanted to...which lead him to the present.
“You can't stay in there forever! I should know!”
But Donna wasn't phased. He heard the sound of a sarcastic laugh come from the other side of the door. “Oh, don't get your knickers in a twist, Dumbo! I'll erase it. After all, can't have the almighty Time Lord brought down to the level of a clown now, can we?”
The lock turned after a moment. Donna opened the door handed the camera to the Doctor. “See. All gone. It was all in good fun, Doctor.”
The Doctor sped through the pictures of the circus and sure enough, there was no sign of the humiliating photo. He let out a sigh of relief. “Donna Noble, you are impossible.”
She flashed him a cheeky grin. “Yep, and you like impossible.” She ruffled his hair before stepping into the corridor. “Someone has to keep you on your toes. Tea and biscuits?”
He smirked back at her. “If there's any left. If I recall, you ate the last ones from the tin.”
She huffed in indignation. “I did no such thing! It's you, with your appetite the size of an elephant. Honestly, I don't know where you put it all...”
The two friends wandered down the corridor of the TARDIS, congenially arguing. Donna afforded herself one last glance back at her room before they turned the bend in the corridor. She smiled to herself at the knowledge of the extra SD card that was tucked safely in her lingerie drawer...the one she'd switched out on her way back to the TARDIS and had again switched when she'd locked herself in her room. It held only one photograph...