(no subject)
Life is going pretty peachy right now. I'm a busy child, but I mean, that's definitely what makes me happy. When I'm idle and indolent is when I'm left to my devices of thinking way too much and that's what depresses me.
Honestly, if you're looking for advice on how to be happy, examine mine: being aware and intelligent is often championed by people around the world, but living like a naive, innocent little kid will make you SO much happier in the long run. Trust me. I honestly don't mean to blow my own horn but people sometimes ask me stupid questions like "What's it like to be smart?" which makes me feel embarrassed. But, going on that tangent, I'd have to say that it's not all that great. It only makes you depressed because you're that much more tuned into your depravity.
That seems like a non-sequitur, but I say all that to say that I'm trying to learn to live life with that kind of novelty that makes it more fun, and joyful. And being busy helps a lot!
Today I experienced totally unnecessary anxiousness in trying to ask my professor a question about how he grades participation in his class. But I think that's just because I totally think he's hot. For a thirty-something married man with a doctoral degree. I was like "Soanywaysmyname'sLarahowdoIparticipatebestinurclassyou'recuteforateacherhi?" Hahaha I just did the awkward turtle to myself.
Some God talk comin' at ya, if you can handle it:
I've been really busy with Campus Crusade, and I LOVE it. The people are amazing; this is going to change my life. I threw myself into the fire by joining the Evangelism team, because I know that it makes me feel uncomfortable to share my faith with other people and that I just need to get over it sometime. I harbor the not abnormal fear of rejection, mockery, and most importantly, being judged as some kind of Bible-thumper, when I'm totally not. I don't believe that I personally can do a thing in the world to convince someone that God loves them. That's between a person and the Lord. Period. It's only my responsibility to be like "Hey, I know this Guy that changed my life. If you're feeling a little lost, I did too, and now I have confidence in something beyond myself. You should check it out sometime." Sounds so easy, but it's not. People are way rude and obnoxious about it, and you know what? That's okay with me. If Christ didn't rile people up one way or another, and left the world neutral about His presence, then He means nothing. I need to just toughen up my hide and be okay with not being able to answer EVERY question -- I'm not meant to know everything. If I did, then there'd be no reason to follow God. I need to quit seeing people as so intimidating, because honestly, they're no different from me at heart. Everyone just wants to be loved. Hitler was rejected from water-coloring school, and look what happened to him. He just wanted acceptance too! (I told my bible study leaders that example and they were like WHAAAAA. Ahaha) Anyhow... I'm just admitting my insecurities because someone needs to know about them besides myself. Being transparent feels good, right?
Anyhow, it's a lot of fun, too. Bible study tonight was awesome, I love the girls in my group. Tomorrow I'm meeting someone else for coffee so we can just get to know each other and stuff. It rules, pretty much.
/endtalkingaboutthatfornow
I'm also excited because I'm gonna get started on doing stuff with the Honors College Student Council. (lol@stuff like that) And hopefully some service project thangs.
I want to make the most out of these four years and make it feel like I did something worthwhile with them.
Well that's about it. My roomie is asleep already and I need to go ahead and do my quiet time and stuff like that. Lata!
Honestly, if you're looking for advice on how to be happy, examine mine: being aware and intelligent is often championed by people around the world, but living like a naive, innocent little kid will make you SO much happier in the long run. Trust me. I honestly don't mean to blow my own horn but people sometimes ask me stupid questions like "What's it like to be smart?" which makes me feel embarrassed. But, going on that tangent, I'd have to say that it's not all that great. It only makes you depressed because you're that much more tuned into your depravity.
That seems like a non-sequitur, but I say all that to say that I'm trying to learn to live life with that kind of novelty that makes it more fun, and joyful. And being busy helps a lot!
Today I experienced totally unnecessary anxiousness in trying to ask my professor a question about how he grades participation in his class. But I think that's just because I totally think he's hot. For a thirty-something married man with a doctoral degree. I was like "Soanywaysmyname'sLarahowdoIparticipatebestinurclassyou'recuteforateacherhi?" Hahaha I just did the awkward turtle to myself.
Some God talk comin' at ya, if you can handle it:
I've been really busy with Campus Crusade, and I LOVE it. The people are amazing; this is going to change my life. I threw myself into the fire by joining the Evangelism team, because I know that it makes me feel uncomfortable to share my faith with other people and that I just need to get over it sometime. I harbor the not abnormal fear of rejection, mockery, and most importantly, being judged as some kind of Bible-thumper, when I'm totally not. I don't believe that I personally can do a thing in the world to convince someone that God loves them. That's between a person and the Lord. Period. It's only my responsibility to be like "Hey, I know this Guy that changed my life. If you're feeling a little lost, I did too, and now I have confidence in something beyond myself. You should check it out sometime." Sounds so easy, but it's not. People are way rude and obnoxious about it, and you know what? That's okay with me. If Christ didn't rile people up one way or another, and left the world neutral about His presence, then He means nothing. I need to just toughen up my hide and be okay with not being able to answer EVERY question -- I'm not meant to know everything. If I did, then there'd be no reason to follow God. I need to quit seeing people as so intimidating, because honestly, they're no different from me at heart. Everyone just wants to be loved. Hitler was rejected from water-coloring school, and look what happened to him. He just wanted acceptance too! (I told my bible study leaders that example and they were like WHAAAAA. Ahaha) Anyhow... I'm just admitting my insecurities because someone needs to know about them besides myself. Being transparent feels good, right?
Anyhow, it's a lot of fun, too. Bible study tonight was awesome, I love the girls in my group. Tomorrow I'm meeting someone else for coffee so we can just get to know each other and stuff. It rules, pretty much.
/endtalkingaboutthatfornow
I'm also excited because I'm gonna get started on doing stuff with the Honors College Student Council. (lol@stuff like that) And hopefully some service project thangs.
I want to make the most out of these four years and make it feel like I did something worthwhile with them.
Well that's about it. My roomie is asleep already and I need to go ahead and do my quiet time and stuff like that. Lata!