(no subject)
The very best thing about this "journal" now is that no one reads it, so I can feel free to truly express my inner most thoughts without wondering who will read it. And because I packed my real life thought journal in a box somewhere, I thought I'd type this and place it there later...
It's senior year, I am 21 years old and in virtually the same position in my life that I was four years ago. I began looking up Grad schools today when I realized that I may have to enter the real world next year and felt virtually ill-prepared.
I teeter-totter in the college-adult world constantly and can't decide whether I am "adult" enough to leave academic life and actually begin living my life 'out there'...
Maybe I thought college would be different- not like its been bad by any means.
I 'discovered' myself if I could even believe the notion that you don't have some adherent knowledge of yourself from birth. In that discovery, I found that I don't want to be the ball-sy career woman in Manhatten in an empty, beautiful flat with a view. I don't want that at all, in fact... I came into college thinking [quite contently] that big cities and bright lights would be my future.
Things do change.
I found the cd I was going to take with me to Maine in my Dad's car today... ironic considering I just burned another copy for myself since I liked it so much.
All I have to say is I am the best girlfriend ever, hands down...
I made another complimentary mix to go with the cd called "Fairy Tale part two: The ending they neglet to add". But maybe its good that fairy tales end happily, who'd want to read or talk about reality- its already hard enough to live through- although my reality is quite different from most normal people. Mine is like the horror story at the end of the fairy tale- where you have to ask 'does that really happen?'
Yes it does, I am a witness.
And yet, I still don't expect any different... and I still fall hopelessly for Mr. Wrong... now I'm just waiting for mr. wrong #3 to break my heart- and I hope he does it fast, I mean I only have a year left for it to happen...
It's senior year, I am 21 years old and in virtually the same position in my life that I was four years ago. I began looking up Grad schools today when I realized that I may have to enter the real world next year and felt virtually ill-prepared.
I teeter-totter in the college-adult world constantly and can't decide whether I am "adult" enough to leave academic life and actually begin living my life 'out there'...
Maybe I thought college would be different- not like its been bad by any means.
I 'discovered' myself if I could even believe the notion that you don't have some adherent knowledge of yourself from birth. In that discovery, I found that I don't want to be the ball-sy career woman in Manhatten in an empty, beautiful flat with a view. I don't want that at all, in fact... I came into college thinking [quite contently] that big cities and bright lights would be my future.
Things do change.
I found the cd I was going to take with me to Maine in my Dad's car today... ironic considering I just burned another copy for myself since I liked it so much.
All I have to say is I am the best girlfriend ever, hands down...
I made another complimentary mix to go with the cd called "Fairy Tale part two: The ending they neglet to add". But maybe its good that fairy tales end happily, who'd want to read or talk about reality- its already hard enough to live through- although my reality is quite different from most normal people. Mine is like the horror story at the end of the fairy tale- where you have to ask 'does that really happen?'
Yes it does, I am a witness.
And yet, I still don't expect any different... and I still fall hopelessly for Mr. Wrong... now I'm just waiting for mr. wrong #3 to break my heart- and I hope he does it fast, I mean I only have a year left for it to happen...