(no subject)
OH GOD WHY WON'T IT STOP RAINING?
i can't stand it anymore. when it was just threatening to rain during my route but held off for the most part until i was done? nerve-wracking, but fine. the first day it rained all the fuck over me and i couldn't see anything because my glasses were all fogged up, and my brakes didn't work in the rain and i was soaking and freezing cold before noon? obnoxious, and i would hyperbolically dub it the "worst day ever" but okay i can deal with it now that it's over. but EVERY day this week raining the fuck all over me and never being dry, and not being able to go inside and try not to be miserable and STILL not being able to see anything and my brakes STILL screeching out imminent death and STILL having to keep to a schedule when impossibly more dogs are being added to the route and the ones i already have are being douchebags and won't go outside because they're ridiculous and spoilt lincoln park bastards and i can't bike as fast between their houses because the (car) traffic is horrible as well as, you know, wanting to be able to stop once i get there? it's TOO MUCH. just give me one nice day, please! one day where i would not kill for a cup of tea because i have not been dry since sunday. one day where i don't have to explain why i am running late because i don't own an effing car and there is a twenty-mile-an-hour headwind. one day where the dogs i'm walking actually want to take a shit on the sidewalk. winter? is gonna suck monkey balls. i am just so tired and i hate poor weather so much. it seems petty, but foul weather really does make me horribly depressed and i think a lot of people don't understand that. they're inclined to say "oh, it's just a bit of rain. you won't melt! (ha ha ha) just suck it up". i can't. i mean, i can, obviously, but it seriously makes me want to kill myself. and then i feel reallt pathetic about it, which makes me feel worse. the fact that it is an actual disease with an actual name hardly makes me feel better.
i have to call work, and i don't want to go to work if it's raining and i have to make eight thousand stops. i have to eat something, but i am not hungry even though i know i will be starving later if i don't eat. i have to drink something because my head hurts, but i hate ingesting anything in the morning. i am spending too much money on food. this needs to stop. i don't take comfort knowing my problems are trivial.
i can't stand it anymore. when it was just threatening to rain during my route but held off for the most part until i was done? nerve-wracking, but fine. the first day it rained all the fuck over me and i couldn't see anything because my glasses were all fogged up, and my brakes didn't work in the rain and i was soaking and freezing cold before noon? obnoxious, and i would hyperbolically dub it the "worst day ever" but okay i can deal with it now that it's over. but EVERY day this week raining the fuck all over me and never being dry, and not being able to go inside and try not to be miserable and STILL not being able to see anything and my brakes STILL screeching out imminent death and STILL having to keep to a schedule when impossibly more dogs are being added to the route and the ones i already have are being douchebags and won't go outside because they're ridiculous and spoilt lincoln park bastards and i can't bike as fast between their houses because the (car) traffic is horrible as well as, you know, wanting to be able to stop once i get there? it's TOO MUCH. just give me one nice day, please! one day where i would not kill for a cup of tea because i have not been dry since sunday. one day where i don't have to explain why i am running late because i don't own an effing car and there is a twenty-mile-an-hour headwind. one day where the dogs i'm walking actually want to take a shit on the sidewalk. winter? is gonna suck monkey balls. i am just so tired and i hate poor weather so much. it seems petty, but foul weather really does make me horribly depressed and i think a lot of people don't understand that. they're inclined to say "oh, it's just a bit of rain. you won't melt! (ha ha ha) just suck it up". i can't. i mean, i can, obviously, but it seriously makes me want to kill myself. and then i feel reallt pathetic about it, which makes me feel worse. the fact that it is an actual disease with an actual name hardly makes me feel better.
i have to call work, and i don't want to go to work if it's raining and i have to make eight thousand stops. i have to eat something, but i am not hungry even though i know i will be starving later if i don't eat. i have to drink something because my head hurts, but i hate ingesting anything in the morning. i am spending too much money on food. this needs to stop. i don't take comfort knowing my problems are trivial.