My response about Him being real was coinciding with what you had written about praying to Him before in your life. That made me think you did, at one time, think He existed, because you prayed. I'm sorry if you thought that was shoving the issue down your throat--it was a statement about what has to happen in order to get answers from prayers. That is all. I didn't get offended when you said He is not real--so I would expect the same from you not getting offended because I do.
Please also help me understand what you mean by; "there is the bigger understanding that whatever he allows will be for his glory." (now I know you don't know what happened to me through childhood, so am I to assume that what happened to me, happened for some deity's glory? Again, that statement is for believers, coming from the same place that whole paragraph came from. I was stating that maybe you went through what you did for a reason. The fact that you are open about it, and share with others, is a way that could help someone else. They will see that you were a fighter, and still are, and you have survived. That it wasn't easy, and you are not the happiest, but you have pushed and come this far. I see that as helping others. I don't know how to make you understand any better. I believe in helping others. Even when it is painful. I am sorry you suffered as a child at the hands of people you were supposed to trust. I am sorry you went through what you went through, and because I DO believe, I would offer prayers and other forms of comfort. The other non-believers that are my friends don't take offense to that--several welcome my prayers, love, and encouragement. BUT! if that will bother you, please let me know, so I will not bother you with any of it.
I'm sorry you are feeling strange. I hope I cleared it up some, if not all of the way. Thanks for inviting me to go read your other journal. I will go see if I can figure it out--I will have to remember my passwords and things to be able to get in! *lolol* x)
RE: Re: thank you :)plectrumkeyApril 11 2018, 12:34:06 UTC
hi, it would have been helpful if you had stated you were referring to the time (when i was 7) that I did believe, because that vanished when i realised that whatever is i prayed to, did not care. if he is so wonderful, then why are so many kids raped? anyone .. for that matter?)
whatever it is you tell me about why you believe .. im sorry it means zero to me because in my experience there is nobody up there. who ignores a plea from a 7 year old who asks "please make him stop hurting me." that to me is not something i want any involvement with. you can keep your faith, and i mean that in a transparent, i'm keeping away from all things toxic - context.
as i said .. prayers mean nothing to me, and i don't find the expression any comfort. not since i was let down and left to suffer. now if you'll excuse me, i shall go and try to cope wit hthe lack ofs leep inflicted by a neighbour each night (and which cause me pain to blink as i get so little sleep)
i rather pause this type of conversation for when i feel better able. though at present i doubt this mess will end, as landlord seems perfectly fine with abuse (triggers again.. )
My response about Him being real was coinciding with what you had written about praying to Him before in your life. That made me think you did, at one time, think He existed, because you prayed. I'm sorry if you thought that was shoving the issue down your throat--it was a statement about what has to happen in order to get answers from prayers. That is all. I didn't get offended when you said He is not real--so I would expect the same from you not getting offended because I do.
Please also help me understand what you mean by; "there is the bigger understanding that whatever he allows will be for his glory." (now I know you don't know what happened to me through childhood, so am I to assume that what happened to me, happened for some deity's glory? Again, that statement is for believers, coming from the same place that whole paragraph came from. I was stating that maybe you went through what you did for a reason. The fact that you are open about it, and share with others, is a way that could help someone else. They will see that you were a fighter, and still are, and you have survived. That it wasn't easy, and you are not the happiest, but you have pushed and come this far. I see that as helping others. I don't know how to make you understand any better. I believe in helping others. Even when it is painful. I am sorry you suffered as a child at the hands of people you were supposed to trust. I am sorry you went through what you went through, and because I DO believe, I would offer prayers and other forms of comfort. The other non-believers that are my friends don't take offense to that--several welcome my prayers, love, and encouragement.
BUT! if that will bother you, please let me know, so I will not bother you with any of it.
I'm sorry you are feeling strange. I hope I cleared it up some, if not all of the way. Thanks for inviting me to go read your other journal. I will go see if I can figure it out--I will have to remember my passwords and things to be able to get in! *lolol* x)
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whatever it is you tell me about why you believe .. im sorry it means zero to me because in my experience there is nobody up there. who ignores a plea from a 7 year old who asks "please make him stop hurting me." that to me is not something i want any involvement with.
you can keep your faith, and i mean that in a transparent, i'm keeping away from all things toxic - context.
as i said .. prayers mean nothing to me, and i don't find the expression any comfort. not since i was let down and left to suffer.
now if you'll excuse me, i shall go and try to cope wit hthe lack ofs leep inflicted by a neighbour each night (and which cause me pain to blink as i get so little sleep)
i rather pause this type of conversation for when i feel better able. though at present i doubt this mess will end, as landlord seems perfectly fine with abuse (triggers again.. )
bye for now. take care.
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