wellll...
i'm not asking for my life to be 100% perfect.
just a little stability would be nice.
i'm not asking for the perfect boyfriend.
the perfect parents. the perfect reputation.
the perfect friends. perfect grades.
just something close to perfect in one of those catagories would be amazing.
as far as the boyfriend and relationship thing goes, i feel like i'm working my ass off and trying so much to make something work and i'm doing it all by myself. i understand that parents are gay and that it's so hard, but there are other ways of getting around them. look how the past 2 months have been. everything was fine. now because of one thing everything is diffrent.
i'm losing brent, i know i am. and i hate that more than anything in the world. i hate the thought of that. and because it's all over the simple fact of where i go to school at is what hurts even more. tonight, i made a hugee effort to see him. after all we been through today i just wanted nothing more than for him to hold me again for even like, five minutes, like how it used to be before i apparantly "changed him", and when everything was perfect for us. nothing on his part. not even a message to tell me he wasn't coming out. maybe he's right, maybe it's not going to work. maybe it is too hard. &maybe i'm just doing all of this for nothing.
i don't know anymore.
parents and friends are a diffrent story. my parents just don't care about anything but themselves, thats clear. friends, atleast i have two i know i can turn to.
i don't know but something really needs to change. =/
i'm going to sleep, without waiting for my phone to ring for once.
just a little stability would be nice.
i'm not asking for the perfect boyfriend.
the perfect parents. the perfect reputation.
the perfect friends. perfect grades.
just something close to perfect in one of those catagories would be amazing.
as far as the boyfriend and relationship thing goes, i feel like i'm working my ass off and trying so much to make something work and i'm doing it all by myself. i understand that parents are gay and that it's so hard, but there are other ways of getting around them. look how the past 2 months have been. everything was fine. now because of one thing everything is diffrent.
i'm losing brent, i know i am. and i hate that more than anything in the world. i hate the thought of that. and because it's all over the simple fact of where i go to school at is what hurts even more. tonight, i made a hugee effort to see him. after all we been through today i just wanted nothing more than for him to hold me again for even like, five minutes, like how it used to be before i apparantly "changed him", and when everything was perfect for us. nothing on his part. not even a message to tell me he wasn't coming out. maybe he's right, maybe it's not going to work. maybe it is too hard. &maybe i'm just doing all of this for nothing.
i don't know anymore.
parents and friends are a diffrent story. my parents just don't care about anything but themselves, thats clear. friends, atleast i have two i know i can turn to.
i don't know but something really needs to change. =/
i'm going to sleep, without waiting for my phone to ring for once.