#223 - "I swear I didn't put those..."
ooc: Yikes, I think it's been a full week since I've been able to reply to anything. My laptop's become stuck in an endless chain of updating (there was a time when I said I liked Vista. That time is over). Since I have to call support to get things sorted out, it'll probably be a little bit longer before I can catch up with any comments I owe. My apologies to anybody who's waiting on anything; hopefully Murphy and Corky will be 100% back very soon. In the meantime, have a prompt response!
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"I swear I didn’t put those Peeps on your chair."
Murphy couldn’t even say it without smiling. The look on Miles’s face was just too good. Caught somewhere between a childish pout and a very adult rage, he stood in the doorway to her office with his hands balled into fists. Only one thing could’ve possibly occurred here, and that was that Murphy’s little Easter present had successfully made its way to her boss.
"Miles, are you just gonna stand there forever?" she asked, still smiling as he shut the door behind him. "I’ve got a lot of work to do, you know."
"You put them in the microwave," Miles replied. His voice had adopted that familiar kicked puppy quality, and his shoulders dropped in defeat.
"Put what in the microwave?" Murphy innocently asked.
"THE PEEPS!"
Ooh, she’d already gotten him to shout and jump up and down a little bit. That was definitely the best Easter present she’d received so far.
"You put the Peeps in the microwave before you put them on my chair!" Miles continued. "I didn’t just sit on Peeps, no! I couldn’t just sit on Peeps. They had to be WARM PEEPS. They had to be STICKY PEEPS. They had to be UNWRAPPED WARM STICKY PEEPS."
Finally, here was the moment of truth. Miles slowly turned his back to Murphy, allowing her to fully savor the moment. When he came to a stop, he pointed to a huge sparkling yellow and white glob right on the seat of his pants. Oh, glorious satisfaction, thy name is this. It was all Murphy could do to keep from laughing out loud.
"Gee, Miles," she said, grinning more as he scowled at her. "That’s quite the piece of art you’ve got there."
"Quite the piece of art that you gave me! Why did you have to do this!?"
"I told you, I didn’t put them on your chair."
"There’s no one else who could’ve done this," Miles spat, slamming both hands down onto the top of her desk. He was really quite precious when he was angry. "There’s no one else who would be cruel enough to use the Peeps that Corky gave me for something like this."
"Look, do you want my Peeps? Corky gave some to everybody, but you know me. I’ll just bite off all the little heads and-"
"AND USE THE BODIES TO MAKE MARSHMALLOW BOMBS TO THROW AT ME IN THE PARKING LOT!"
Murphy chuckled. "Please, I would never do that. Marshmallow bombs are too heavy-duty for you, anyway. Those have to be used on people like Barbara Walters, or else it’s just a waste."
"Oh, so now I’m not even good enough for a marshmallow bomb!?" Miles asked as his mouth dropped.
Murphy raised an eyebrow. Miles was really walking into everything today, wasn’t he? "Do you want to get marshmallow bombed?"
That got him. His eyes widened and he jumped back so far that he slammed into the door. "NO! GOD, NO! This-" He paused, walking back towards the desk and pointing to his backside once more, "was more than enough!"
Suddenly there was a click as the doorknob turned, a swoosh as the door opened, and then Frank walked inside.
"Hey, Murph," he said, "I ran out of those little Kisses and I really want some more; can I have some of your-"
Of course, he didn’t get very far, what with Miles standing right there, frozen with his finger still pointing toward his Peep-smeared pants.
Frank blinked a few times while his jaw slowly dropped. Miles made a very interesting noise that resembled a bird being strangled. Murphy, meanwhile, eased into her chair and leaned back, clearly pleased with her handiwork. She smiled as she reached into her Easter basket and plucked a single chocolate egg from the fake green grass.
As she unwrapped the tiny egg and popped it into her mouth, only one thought crossed her mind: Boy, who needs the Easter Bunny when you can give yourself such great presents?
---
"I swear I didn’t put those Peeps on your chair."
Murphy couldn’t even say it without smiling. The look on Miles’s face was just too good. Caught somewhere between a childish pout and a very adult rage, he stood in the doorway to her office with his hands balled into fists. Only one thing could’ve possibly occurred here, and that was that Murphy’s little Easter present had successfully made its way to her boss.
"Miles, are you just gonna stand there forever?" she asked, still smiling as he shut the door behind him. "I’ve got a lot of work to do, you know."
"You put them in the microwave," Miles replied. His voice had adopted that familiar kicked puppy quality, and his shoulders dropped in defeat.
"Put what in the microwave?" Murphy innocently asked.
"THE PEEPS!"
Ooh, she’d already gotten him to shout and jump up and down a little bit. That was definitely the best Easter present she’d received so far.
"You put the Peeps in the microwave before you put them on my chair!" Miles continued. "I didn’t just sit on Peeps, no! I couldn’t just sit on Peeps. They had to be WARM PEEPS. They had to be STICKY PEEPS. They had to be UNWRAPPED WARM STICKY PEEPS."
Finally, here was the moment of truth. Miles slowly turned his back to Murphy, allowing her to fully savor the moment. When he came to a stop, he pointed to a huge sparkling yellow and white glob right on the seat of his pants. Oh, glorious satisfaction, thy name is this. It was all Murphy could do to keep from laughing out loud.
"Gee, Miles," she said, grinning more as he scowled at her. "That’s quite the piece of art you’ve got there."
"Quite the piece of art that you gave me! Why did you have to do this!?"
"I told you, I didn’t put them on your chair."
"There’s no one else who could’ve done this," Miles spat, slamming both hands down onto the top of her desk. He was really quite precious when he was angry. "There’s no one else who would be cruel enough to use the Peeps that Corky gave me for something like this."
"Look, do you want my Peeps? Corky gave some to everybody, but you know me. I’ll just bite off all the little heads and-"
"AND USE THE BODIES TO MAKE MARSHMALLOW BOMBS TO THROW AT ME IN THE PARKING LOT!"
Murphy chuckled. "Please, I would never do that. Marshmallow bombs are too heavy-duty for you, anyway. Those have to be used on people like Barbara Walters, or else it’s just a waste."
"Oh, so now I’m not even good enough for a marshmallow bomb!?" Miles asked as his mouth dropped.
Murphy raised an eyebrow. Miles was really walking into everything today, wasn’t he? "Do you want to get marshmallow bombed?"
That got him. His eyes widened and he jumped back so far that he slammed into the door. "NO! GOD, NO! This-" He paused, walking back towards the desk and pointing to his backside once more, "was more than enough!"
Suddenly there was a click as the doorknob turned, a swoosh as the door opened, and then Frank walked inside.
"Hey, Murph," he said, "I ran out of those little Kisses and I really want some more; can I have some of your-"
Of course, he didn’t get very far, what with Miles standing right there, frozen with his finger still pointing toward his Peep-smeared pants.
Frank blinked a few times while his jaw slowly dropped. Miles made a very interesting noise that resembled a bird being strangled. Murphy, meanwhile, eased into her chair and leaned back, clearly pleased with her handiwork. She smiled as she reached into her Easter basket and plucked a single chocolate egg from the fake green grass.
As she unwrapped the tiny egg and popped it into her mouth, only one thought crossed her mind: Boy, who needs the Easter Bunny when you can give yourself such great presents?