ramble
why does it seem like with me happiness and sorrow are almost always conjoined twins... it seems like most people are upset when something monumental has happened to them... but with me i just think about life and love and this hopeful happy sadness comes over me.. and i sort of like it? is that strange? i want to feel more unique. i never feel that what i do or am is outrageous and different and i don't know if it's because of who i am or who i am not being. i want to fall in love so fucking bad. and not all this bullshit love. the real fuckin deal ya know? the heart wrenching pain that comes with it is just fine too.i'm ready. i watched feast of love today and it really opened up my eyes to everything. i cried so much in the theatre you would of thought all that sorrow was happening to me.i want to talk and laugh and lay and dream with someone. i also want to fuckin fight and swear get sooo mad sometimes i want to scream but i want to never doubt them or "We", i want to know!!! they are the one... i'm so unbelievably terrried that may never come... i'm well aware it's not in the cards for everyone but whats the point of living without dreaming?