(no subject)
i remember what it felt like.. when i realized that i hadn't thought about you in a while. fear. it was so unusual; you hadn't left my mind a day in years. since we met.
i was afraid because i know how bad i am at letting go. looking back at the memories you left me with - because i often feel like that's all i have left - i can't get them out of my head, no matter how hard i try. it would be easier if you hadn't hurt me.
i find myself wishing for things that don't exist anymore, that i couldn't possibly find anywhere on earth, because we're both older, we've seen a lot of places. we're not who we used to be, but memories have a way of making you feel like there's some way you can go back.
i still find myself doing things, with you in mind, even though you'll never know. i can't appeal to you anymore. yes, i have plenty of regrets about the way i did things. i was afraid, uneasy, needy. i wish that i could forget you. whoever said that it's better to have loved and lost is a fool trying to justify their holding on to pain. i wish that i had never met you. i don't think i'll ever have the capacity to let go.
i really, honestly, wish that i had never met you. you are the thorn in my side.
i was afraid because i know how bad i am at letting go. looking back at the memories you left me with - because i often feel like that's all i have left - i can't get them out of my head, no matter how hard i try. it would be easier if you hadn't hurt me.
i find myself wishing for things that don't exist anymore, that i couldn't possibly find anywhere on earth, because we're both older, we've seen a lot of places. we're not who we used to be, but memories have a way of making you feel like there's some way you can go back.
i still find myself doing things, with you in mind, even though you'll never know. i can't appeal to you anymore. yes, i have plenty of regrets about the way i did things. i was afraid, uneasy, needy. i wish that i could forget you. whoever said that it's better to have loved and lost is a fool trying to justify their holding on to pain. i wish that i had never met you. i don't think i'll ever have the capacity to let go.
i really, honestly, wish that i had never met you. you are the thorn in my side.