Dear Rory: Pillow Talk
Dear Rory,
Once upon a time I was looking for a pretty boy to play under the covers with.... Now that I've found him, what do I do to keep him rolling around in my sheets and not wondering to someone else's?
Sincerely,
Pillow Talk
Dear Pillow Talk,
I'm so glad to hear you've found a new toy to play with. Now let's make sure he sticks around. So even though you may feel it, never ever, under any circumstances, tell him you love him. That will just totally scare him off. Instead, here are some tried and true ways Dear Rory has found for you to express your deep and undying feelings:
1) Knit a matching pair of sweaters for you and him that proudly read "soul mates".
2) Start adding clothes from maternity stores to your wardrobe, and if he comments on the new look, just tell him that you're "getting ready".
3) You should be the only girl he looks at. So whenever he gets a new magazine go through and cut out all the pictures of any women you find. That way you can assure his complete and total devotion.
4) Start making a calendar of any and all anniversaries concerning your relationship, and hang it prominently on the fridge.
5) Free him from repetitive tasks and start answering all of his personal mail. This way he has more time to spend with you.
6) Show him you love his family too, by inviting them over for dinner, every night.
7) Cut off a piece of his hair while he is sleeping and make it into a necklace. This way you can show him that you always want him close to you.
8) And finally, start taking photos of yourself and leaving them everywhere. And I mean everywhere, in car, in the bed, in the freezer, mail some to him just for fun. He'll treasure each and everyone as he does you.
If you follow these simple guidelines you can be sure he'll be sticking around for a very long time.
Happy Hunting,
Dear Rory