(no subject)
Today makes 3 months since she's been gone. Three months. How does time go by so quickly? All I have to do is look at her pictures, and it brings tears to my eyes. I wish she could read this. I wish she knew how much I miss her. Her sillyness at work. Her laugh. He jokes. Her scent. Her voice. Her. All I can think about is her funeral. Her laying there. All I could think about was "come on paige.. just.. move. wake up. the joke is over." and she didn't. It's surreal. It's hard to handle. It's something I'm trying to move past, but you never move past a death. You don't get over it. It's not like a broken heart, that time will heal and you'll find another love, or boyfriend or girlfriend. It's that sinking feeling in your chest. It's the shock you go into when youre finally told. The pain is unbearable.
You cant take for granted the people in your life. They might leave sooner than you ever thought they would, and when it does happen, you're in shock. I remember when I was told, and all I could say was WHAT? I remember the phone calls, and all the messages I got. I remember just crying and crying. It didnt hit me as hard when I was first told. It hit me harder the day after, because I had went to work and everybody stared. Everybody waited for my reaction when I came in. Nobody had smiles on their faces. Everybody hugged me as I cried and then I couldn't focus on what I was doing, and had to run outside and just cry and cry.
I should have been a better friend.
but, No time for regrets.
I just miss you, Paige.
You cant take for granted the people in your life. They might leave sooner than you ever thought they would, and when it does happen, you're in shock. I remember when I was told, and all I could say was WHAT? I remember the phone calls, and all the messages I got. I remember just crying and crying. It didnt hit me as hard when I was first told. It hit me harder the day after, because I had went to work and everybody stared. Everybody waited for my reaction when I came in. Nobody had smiles on their faces. Everybody hugged me as I cried and then I couldn't focus on what I was doing, and had to run outside and just cry and cry.
I should have been a better friend.
but, No time for regrets.
I just miss you, Paige.