(no subject)

[heyladies]

although today i began questioning things in the back of my mind, i have done without that for a couple of weeks, or so. and it's been great. i meant to say this earlier, but i guess i just never got around to it. i want to record the fact that i feel good right now. i'm getting along great with tedd, i'm doing a lot of fun things, keeping busy with school and trying hard to do well, i love my apartment and my roommates and cat, friends in general are great, i haven't been too huge of a bitch, and it's FALL. i think fall and i were meant for each other. it makes me feel so good to just be outside in the cold and the dry air and everything is so so beautiful. i feel so lucky to be able to see it. i really know what it feels like to be thankful and grateful for these things and i don't feel guilty at all for the life i live. and that might be the best part about the past couple weeks. for the first time in the past few years, i can just look at a tree, and not feel guilty. i feel free and i feel lucky and alive. i lost my memory card the other day when i got us kicked out of some frat house and wanted a sucker from my purse. i guess everything fell out. i don't remember. the point is, i need my dad's camera so i can take pictures of it all. because all i can think of is being in savannah last fall and missing out on all of this. and i honestly can't believe that i can feel so good about the weather.

i need to wake up real early tomorrow to schedule classes, but i'm awake because i have my second uti in the past week and god knows that i'm too uncomfortable to sleep. goddamnit.