You Might Be Married to a Blogger If…
My poor husband is such a good sport about the fact that I have this blog. But there are definitely times when he has to deal with the little annoyances that come from being a “blogging widow.” So in honor of him and all of the other partners of bloggers out there, here is my tongue-in-cheek list of ways that finish the sentence:
You Might Be Married to a Blogger if…
- they disappear for hours on end to write, and you are left watching the children all by yourself.
- you and the kids have become hyper-aware of the sound of a camera clicking.
- you have a secret fear that your most intimate conversations will be revealed online sometime soon.
- you have been forced to change your clothes more than once so that you can keep up with the image being portrayed on the blog.
- you have been asked to test out uncomfortable underwear because you have been “gifted” them for review purposes.
- you have appeared on the blog wearing nothing BUT those underwear, even though you never agreed to that.
- you are used to waiting an extra ten minutes for dinner and eating it cold because it had to be plated and photographed for social media consumption.
- you have memorized the six most overused poses that your other half insists on for photos.
- you have heard the phrase, “oh THAT is going in my blog!” so often that you often mouth the words along with them.
- you have to clarify the statement “one of my friends” by asking, “Is that a ‘REAL’ friend or a ‘BLOGGING’ friend?”
- you have been interrupted when telling your friends or family a story because they have already read all about it.
- you are sometimes scared to go to your favorite restaurant because you are afraid they have read the scathing review that was posted last month.
- you just nod and smile when your other half claims “writer” as her occupation on official documents.
- you only half understand the sentence, “My new post has been stumbled and pinned so much it’s gone viral!”
- you have become acquainted with the concept of being shut down in favor of a post (“Not tonight, dear, I have to finish this blog!”).
- you are confused why she calls herself a “mommy blogger” and then gets really offended when someone else calls her the same.
- you swallow your embarrassment when you’re out with friends and she asks, “You guys don’t mind if I blog about this, right?”
- you’ve noticed her new twitch, which happens when you’re in an area with signs saying “No Photography.”
- the kids have started to hide whenever they see the camera.
- the laptop goes everywhere the family goes.
- she was updating the blog during child birth.
- your wedding was broadcast live on the internet.
- instead of chastising your kids for not eating their broccoli, your partner takes photos of the tantrum and then shares the story online, along with all the research she finds on how to make kids love vegetables.
- you never knew that ‘traffic’ had any meaning other than cars.
- you are a little offended when you make a big romantic gesture and she merely tweets about it, claiming it doesn’t warrant its own blog post.
- in one way or another, your sex life has been mentioned on the blog.
- family outings become boring very quickly because you have to slow down to change camera settings.
And some other bloggers have shared their thoughts, too!
“…your wife knows more about the internet than you.” - Nicolette at Powerful Mothering
“…your child gets stuck in an awkward situation and your spouse runs off yelling ‘Don’t touch them! I need my camera!’” - Marie at Buncha Monkeys
“…social media knows more about your partners life than you do!” - Victoria at Verily Victoria Vocalises
“…You never go to bed at the same time!” - Emma at The Mini Mes and Me
“…you have to ask ‘did we buy this or is it for you to review’ when something turns up in the post.” - Zoe at Mama Geek
“…the Laptop gets more attention then you do!” - Rachel at U Me and the Kids
“…you get a quicker response asking them a question through twitter than you do in real life.” - Chantelle at Mama Mummy Mum
“…you have to read a blog to find out what your children have been up to this week.” - Zoe
“…your 4 year old insists you take a picture of any thing new and ‘blog worthy.’” - Nicolette
“…if you have to ask your other half if they would look into getting a PO Box so that he doesn’t have to keep answering the door to deliveries!!” - Victoria
“…You find out what your plans are for the weekend by reading your wife’s blog!” - Suzanne at 3 Children and It
“…every room you go into contains an item you know was got for review purposes.” - Lisa at New Mum Online
“…you have three ladies cleaning the car in your drive, because your wife is reviewing Febreeze for cars!” - Lisa
“…Posing for photographs becomes a part of everyday life, there’s nowhere to hide!” - Suzanne
“…you subscribe to their blog just to find out what the kids are up to while you are at work.” - Louise at A Strong Coffee
“…The only date nights you have are review meals and events.” - Emma
“…your kids take the wrapping paper off a present and ask ‘can I open it or do we have to do a pack shot?’” - Jenny at The Brick Castle
“…you begin receiving more gifts than usual and strange requests to be photographed with/in them!” - Suzanne
“…you spend all evening talking to the back of a phone.” - Jessica at Catch a Single Thought
“…the best way to have a conversation is to ask it via twitter as you get a grunt by any other means.” Lisa at Hollybobbs
“…your child knows how to do a angry, sad, happy, moody and cheeky pose!!” - Carissa at Little Likely Lads
“…you mumble something about a tablecloth and your OH runs at you with a box of props whilst turning the light on with his pinky.” - Stephanie at Miss Mamo’s World
“…your OH is on first name terms with the postman…… (Or they could be having an affair.)” - Kellie at Big Fashionista
“…Your partner is constantly taking photos and asking you to do that again because ‘it has given me a great idea for a post.’” - Rachel at Mummy Glitzer
“…every accident is an anecdote. Every problem is a post. Every bit of fun is a photo op.” - Judith at Make Me an Earth Mother
“…when they have to ask if its okay to start eating when we are out for lunch. Cause you know, I might need a photo.” - Chelsea at MS Mummy of Two
Thanks to all those who gave such great answers. I think it opened all our eyes to the nonsense we occasionally put our families through! Do you have one to add? Let me know in the comments!
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