"Got a feeling inside....I can't explain"
So Sunday night, the ex appeared in my dreams...no not THAT ex but another one...Richard, the first b/f I had in college and my *First* well you know. Anyways, the latter guy appeared in my dreams last night. What is it with this sudden interest into the past. I know it can't be about closure because I had it with both of these guys, Richard two years ago when I went to visit him in Ventura and Matt in January. Maybe it's a sign that I just want to stay in contact with them. Neither one of the dreams had to do with anything sexual so I know it's not a sign that I'm still in love with either one of these guys, but more like "oh, wonder how they're doing?"
But it got me thinking to a long-lost love: Howard, my h.s b/f and first love of my life....He seems to have dropped off the face of the earth. We used to be able to talk every week on the phone and maintained a decent friendship post-breakup. Heck, I considered him my best guy friend for the longest time and could talk to him about personal stuff without feeling uncomfortable or anything like that. Yet last August, we had a brief conversation before I had to go to work and then....just like that I never heard from him. His number's disconnected, no e-mail, nothing....It just makes my heart drop when someone I care for sooo much has been taken away from me. = ( Come back to me please!!!! I feel as though I lost one of my true friends.
~ Forgot where I found this, but it's my song of the moment on Winamp....So sad it makes you want to cry, but still it's been stuck in my head. Reminds me so much of the pain I deal with when ending relationships.
"August In Bethany" by Juliana Theory
With the sounds of the ocean crashing
7:30 Friday evening
everything comes tumbling down
I choke back each tear that bleeds
I’d rather rest forever in your arms
I’d rather stay here than go but I know that
I should leave as i sit here helpless
Don’t go you said you wouldn't
You said you wouldn't
Don’t go you said you wouldn't
You said you couldn't
I think of our time together is it fading
am I dreaming everything you said lives on
I cherish our memories
I want to kiss your tears away tonight
it's hard to give up the one
You never thought you'd leave
Don’t go don't go
Your eyes they see through my soul
don't go don't go
You say as I walk out your door
With the sounds of the ocean crashing
7:30 Friday evening
everything comes tumbling down
But it got me thinking to a long-lost love: Howard, my h.s b/f and first love of my life....He seems to have dropped off the face of the earth. We used to be able to talk every week on the phone and maintained a decent friendship post-breakup. Heck, I considered him my best guy friend for the longest time and could talk to him about personal stuff without feeling uncomfortable or anything like that. Yet last August, we had a brief conversation before I had to go to work and then....just like that I never heard from him. His number's disconnected, no e-mail, nothing....It just makes my heart drop when someone I care for sooo much has been taken away from me. = ( Come back to me please!!!! I feel as though I lost one of my true friends.
~ Forgot where I found this, but it's my song of the moment on Winamp....So sad it makes you want to cry, but still it's been stuck in my head. Reminds me so much of the pain I deal with when ending relationships.
"August In Bethany" by Juliana Theory
With the sounds of the ocean crashing
7:30 Friday evening
everything comes tumbling down
I choke back each tear that bleeds
I’d rather rest forever in your arms
I’d rather stay here than go but I know that
I should leave as i sit here helpless
Don’t go you said you wouldn't
You said you wouldn't
Don’t go you said you wouldn't
You said you couldn't
I think of our time together is it fading
am I dreaming everything you said lives on
I cherish our memories
I want to kiss your tears away tonight
it's hard to give up the one
You never thought you'd leave
Don’t go don't go
Your eyes they see through my soul
don't go don't go
You say as I walk out your door
With the sounds of the ocean crashing
7:30 Friday evening
everything comes tumbling down