(no subject)
You know what is so ironic about life and people, is that once you see them for who they really are, the more you think about it the more you realize you know all the time what they really were like, and then you wonder why you wouldnt let yourself admit it this whole time. It's like that with jobs and so many other things, but you feel like you were smacked across the face all of a sudden, and go "what was I thinking?" I mean why cant we see things for what they really are right away, I want to achieve that state of mind where you know what is good or bad, right or wrong right away. I want to really see what the big picture is, enjoy every moment of my life, push myself further and further, spread happiness to everyone and not be afraid to take on anything by myself. I think that a big problem with myself and many others in the world is that we are afraid of ourselves, we are constantly doubting if we are good enough, if people like, accept, and care about us. We let our fears run our lives, and it's like (atleast for myself) I let it consume me, and I stay in a miserable situation, because I am afraid that whatever I do wont be good enough, that I am not good enough, so I would rather stay in a hell job because it is in some ways better then the unknown. Why am I so self destructive, where does my fear come from, how do I rise above it, and finally find peace internally and externally.