i hate how love and a friendship isnt enough

[heyjonii]

i saw him last night and i really think that made him think twice about what he really wants with "us". i really wanted to see him and i had the whole night planned in my head. to be perfect. it didnt go as planned and now he is telling me that he still doesnt know what he wants. he either wants it or he doesnt. i dont know what my competition is right now..but i think he wants something else more thant what i have to offer.

now im wondering when he is going to tell me if this relationship is going to work out for him. i always thought we were good for eachother and i never really had to think about how it could work between us. i always let things take its own way and helped it along the way. it worked out for me until now.

i didnt see this coming, i thought things would have gotten better. instead they got worse.