Friends Remain And Never Can End
I was reading a post of a fellow elchayer about losing friends. And I so much understand what he's going through.
You see, I always got this strong attachment with things. I used to have a large collection of letters and notes from friends; bus tickets from out of town trips; movie, play and concert tickets; invitations and brochures from exhibits, launchings and events; an array of stolen items from restaurants and bars we've been to; and a lot of other stuff. I treasure them very much.
Same goes with my friends. I only have a few set of friends. One of them are the friends I have since I was in highschool. Heck, they were even my classmates way back in elementary: Jabo, Kelay and Janjan. When I think of them, I always remember this line from a movie I've seen years ago:
"Whenever people ask me when did I realize that I was gay, I say, I don't know. I can't remember. But what I do remember is the time I realized that it was okay. It was when I met these guys.. my friends."
We got really close when we were in college, when we started coming out of the closet. We were together when we started exploring the ins and outs of MIRC and doing EB's and attending GEB's. bi-manila pa ang uso noon. We were also together when we started cruising the streets of Nakpil and Orosa. And when we have our first taste of hook-ups and one night stands, and boyfriends. 'Buddy' pa ang tawagan noon. We were there for each other pag heartbroken ang isa sa amin. Those times, walang makakapaghiwalay sa amin. We've gain other friends too, but the four of us always remain intact as a group.
Just recently, we started outgrowing each other. Kelay already got married and has two kids now. A few months ago, Janjan broke up with his boyfriend for more than 3 years and is now concentrating on finishing med school and finding a new partner. Jabo is now working in a call center and is busy with his new friends. I am now very much pre-occupied with work and my mountaineering and running activities. We no longer have our Saturday night gimiks. We don't text each other anymore. We have grown indifferent to each other.
Then I started asking: How come I no longer know them? How come we don't share our joys and pains to each other anymore? How come we have drifted so far away from each other? I really felt sad. And hurt. And betrayed.
One day, I started going over my stuff again. I was looking at all the letters and tickets, and the other stuff that I was keeping for years. I stared at them and tried to remember all the memories that goes with each item. Then one by one, I started throwing them away. I started letting go.
Friends will always be friends. But people are always in a process of moving on. And we can only have moments.
You see, I always got this strong attachment with things. I used to have a large collection of letters and notes from friends; bus tickets from out of town trips; movie, play and concert tickets; invitations and brochures from exhibits, launchings and events; an array of stolen items from restaurants and bars we've been to; and a lot of other stuff. I treasure them very much.
Same goes with my friends. I only have a few set of friends. One of them are the friends I have since I was in highschool. Heck, they were even my classmates way back in elementary: Jabo, Kelay and Janjan. When I think of them, I always remember this line from a movie I've seen years ago:
"Whenever people ask me when did I realize that I was gay, I say, I don't know. I can't remember. But what I do remember is the time I realized that it was okay. It was when I met these guys.. my friends."
We got really close when we were in college, when we started coming out of the closet. We were together when we started exploring the ins and outs of MIRC and doing EB's and attending GEB's. bi-manila pa ang uso noon. We were also together when we started cruising the streets of Nakpil and Orosa. And when we have our first taste of hook-ups and one night stands, and boyfriends. 'Buddy' pa ang tawagan noon. We were there for each other pag heartbroken ang isa sa amin. Those times, walang makakapaghiwalay sa amin. We've gain other friends too, but the four of us always remain intact as a group.
Just recently, we started outgrowing each other. Kelay already got married and has two kids now. A few months ago, Janjan broke up with his boyfriend for more than 3 years and is now concentrating on finishing med school and finding a new partner. Jabo is now working in a call center and is busy with his new friends. I am now very much pre-occupied with work and my mountaineering and running activities. We no longer have our Saturday night gimiks. We don't text each other anymore. We have grown indifferent to each other.
Then I started asking: How come I no longer know them? How come we don't share our joys and pains to each other anymore? How come we have drifted so far away from each other? I really felt sad. And hurt. And betrayed.
One day, I started going over my stuff again. I was looking at all the letters and tickets, and the other stuff that I was keeping for years. I stared at them and tried to remember all the memories that goes with each item. Then one by one, I started throwing them away. I started letting go.
Friends will always be friends. But people are always in a process of moving on. And we can only have moments.