#023: Tears: [FIC] Tears on a Satin Pillow
Title: Tears on a Satin Pillow
Author: heyitshaii
Pairing: Yesung/Shiwon
Theme: # 023: Tears
Genre: Angsty (happy ending)
Rating: NC-15 (I think)
Fic: 2/100
Disclaimer: I don’t own any human being. Including the members. The story is of my creation so don’t compare the details to reality.
A/N: Comments are love!! and this is Un-Betad, there are probably silly little errors here and there. This is the first time writing anything explicit, It felt so weird writing it but it's finally done, hopefully it's not too horrible. It's really long too, I didn't even mean to write this much, it was supposed to be a drabble but it turned into a scary monster!!
Yesung was sick. No, not the kind of sick you become when you contract some sort of virus. He was sick of wanting whom he could never have. He was also sick of the countless lonely nights spent soaking his satin pillow with tears and sorrow. In fact, he was disgusted by the fluffy love-filled dramas Sungmin spent all of his time watching and he detested the romantic novels Ryeowook not so secretly read every night. Wasn't love supposed to induce a feeling of desire, passion, and fulfillment? Most importantly, wasn't love supposed to secure a feeling of happiness, contentment, and bliss? These thoughts swarmed his mind incessantly, tortuously while he wept, leaving him to wonder what he did wrong as he drifted off to sleep.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. SMACK!!
Yesung quietly slid up and moved to the bathroom tend to his early morning routines. He used to groan and whine when he awoke. He used to sneak in an extra 15 minutes of sleep every morning. Then again, he used to be happy as well. Yesung finds that because his heart is in such agonizing pain, there isn't a reason to complain or groan anymore, there is no reason to if it doesn't cure the aching pain that haunts him. He started at the mirror. He looked pitiful. Also, he's realized he's changed a lot of habits since the incident two weeks ago. He eats less, he only speaks when absolutely necessary, and worst of all he avoids him whenever he can because it hurts too much and is reminded of every detail of that night.
~~Flashback~~
"Guys, we have to celebrate," Kangin cheered as he walked into the living room now occupied by the 13 members of Super Junior, who had just won the SBS Inkigayo Mutizen Song: Triple Crown, carrying several cases of beer.
Kibum and Ryeowook spread the bottles amongst the laughing, joyous members.
"I think Yesung is really getting into this "celebration"," pointed Kyuhyun who really doesn't like alcohol and wished his hyungs wouldn't drink since it was bad for your health. The members looked to see a Yesung dancing on top of the table crazily, singing, "Sorry, Sorry". A few moments later Shiwon joined him on top of the table, with their arms liked they proceeded to do the can-can.
"Hey, Shiwon and Yesung, don't get so crazy yet, we haven't even opened the bottles yet, how crazy are you going to get when you're drunk, please don't hurt yourself" shouted Eeteuk who was in the process of trying to open his bottle of beer but failing utterly until Kangin arrived to rescue the fair-skinned singer.
Yesung and Shiwon both replied in unison, "Why not hyung, we're so happy that months of practicing the song finally paid off" The two of them stared at each for a moment and started laughing hysterically after their odd twin moment.
"Shiwon, don't drink too much" stated Eunhyuk who started to laugh as he remembered a very uncomfortable moment between him and Shiwon. Unbeknownsted to most members Shiwon gets very, extremely horny when drunk. Luckily, Eunhyuk had been saved by Kangin and the 2 members vowed to never speak of the incident, especially since Shiwon had remembered nothing. A few moments later the award-winning singers started to play various drinking games around the Super Junior dorm, other than Kangin who was just guzzling bottle after bottle following Eeteuk around.
A few hours later all but two members were either sleeping or lying unconscious on the ground. Even Kyuhyun who had apparently been forced to drink by his hyungs. A very drunk Shiwon, who did not listen to Eunhyuk's warning, was latched onto a slightly drunk Yesung's arm. Yesung who had been known to hold his liquor very well was trying to pull the heavier, muscular man to his room. Yesung shoved the younger man onto the his bed and groaned as he sat down next to Shiwon. Yesung noted to himself that carrying heavy men while drunk makes you very tired. Yesung laid down and stared at the surprisingly cute man. Unbeknownsted to any living being other than himself, he knew that had feelings for the younger man but it had never amounted to anything substantial. He didn't know how the younger felt and he'd rather keep it that way then risk losing their friendship. Right now, laying in bed next to Shiwon, Yesung was happy and content
Yesung opened his eyes as he felt a pair arms grab his shoulders. He looked up to see Shiwon's muscular and defined body straddlig his own slimmer one. He also noticed that it was still dark out which meant he hadn't dozed off for long.
"Uhhh.. Shiwon, you can get off now" stated a confused Yesung as he struggled to escape from the younger's grip.
"Why would I do that hyung, I want you" slurred a still drunk Shiwon who had succeeded in stripping Yesung of his jacket.
"Shiwonnie, stop joking around, I know you're drunk but I didn't think you were capable of think up such jokes while drunk" whined Yesung who was freaked out by the younger man who was successfully stripping him of his clothes. Yesung had always thought that Shiwon held his liquor better than anybody, whenever the group went drinking Shiwon had never been drunk before. Yesung thought, Well, he has to be joking, I know he holds his liquor really well, better than me even and he drank less than me tonight
"I'm not joking" Shiwon whispered in his ear. It sent shivers up his spine and a thought floated into Yesung's mind, Maybe,just maybe, he likes me back too. Yesung was now in the happiest moment of his life, even though he had now lost his shirt.
"I hope you're serious, because I think I like you too, but still you can stop now, you succeeded in freaking me ou--" Yesung spoke before he was cut off by the feeling of a hard object against his thigh. He looked up to see Shiwon smirking at him before he was forcibly flipped unto his stomach by the stronger man.
"No, I don't think so hyung not until I get what I want, and I know you know what that is" Shiwon whispered huskily as he pulled the jeans off of his hyung.
"S-S-Stop, r-r-really Shiwon" stuttered Yesung who was now really scared. The thought of rape crossed his mind but he shook his head. Shiwonnie wouldn't do that to me, he thought Plus,I know he's not that drunk so he must be thinking clearly. At this point Shiwon had successfully stripped Yesung of all his clothes. Shiwon held Yesung's noticeably smaller hands above his head as Yesung lay frozen. Yesung gasped as he felt a finger enter him.
"Hyung, are you ready for another" asked Shiwon. Yesung looked back to see Shiwon gazing down at him, eyes full of lust. He then felt another finger enter him and make scissoring motions.
"Shiwonnie, hurry" gasped Yesung who had convinced himself that Shiwon was completely conscious and aware of his actions since Shiwon was preparing him, who does that when they're drunk?
"As you wish" huffed Shiwon who was growing impatient. Watching his hyung squirm under his ministrations had instantly turned his member rock hard and throbbing. Yesung took in a sharp intake of air as the fingers left him feeling empty. He let out a sharp cry of pain as Shiwon's cock penetrated deep into his body. As soon as the pain subsided he urged Shiwon to by trying to force the cock deeper. It felt so wonderful, he was really making love with the one person he had feelings toward.
"Greedy, aren't we Sungie" groaned Shiwon as he felt Yesung's very tight walls around his cock. Still holding Yesung's arms above his head Shiwon started to thrust faster into the beautiful body underneath him. Yesung gasped as he felt Shiwon's member hit the spot inside him. He could swear he could see stars.
Yesung whined, "Shiwonnie, I need to touch myself" With that Shiwon let go of Yesung's wrists and Yesung got up onto his knees and started pumping himself in time with Shiwon's deep thrusts. Yesung could feel himself getting closer to the edge as Shiwon hit his spot again and again. Shiwon gasped as he felt Yesung's walls tighten around his member and watched as Yesung screamed his name and released his seed onto his own stomach. Yesung groaned as he felt the waves of pleasure envelope his body. At this instant, his infatuation and feelings toward Shiwon had blossomed to more than just a crush, he was sure that Shiwon was the one for him, he was sure that he loved Shiwon. Shiwon sped up and thrusted even harder and faster as he reached his edge and spilled his seed deep into his hyung's body. Shiwon thrusted out the rest of his orgasm, pulled out and collapsed onto the satin pillow that sat next to his hyung. Both boys, who were breathing heavily, quickly fell asleep as the events of the night took its toll on their bodies.
The next morning, Shiwon awoke to find a Yesung sleeping peacefully next to him and huge throbbing headache. He tried to remember what happened the previous night but all he remembers his starting to drink beer and then darkness. As he looked around the room he noticed that he was naked. What the. . . he thought Where are my clothes. . . He saw his clothes on the opposite side of the room so he got up to retrieve them. But as he got up his leg also pulled the covers down which revealed a naked Yesung as well. Shiwon put two and two together and though "Shit". He quickly put on his clothes and left to his room. Back in his room he sat in his bed as countless thoughts crossed his mind: I know I like Yesung hyung. I'm sure he doesn't like me that way. He was drunk. I was drunk. He can't learn that I like him. It would ruin the group. It might ruin our friendship. and with those thoughts he made his decision.
Yesung awoke to find an empty bed and a killer headache.
"Shiwonnie" he whined as he look around the room. I bet he's in the bathroom or something he thought. After a few minutes Shiwon hadn't come back so Yesung was beginning to get worried. Yesung found and put his clothes back on and proceeded to search the house for Shiwon.
As he neared Shiwon's room he called "Shiwonnie, I need to talk to you"
"Shit." Shiwon whispered. No, he thought, I have to focus. He was determined to stick with his decision to the end and do whatever it takes to preserve his secret. Remember, Shiwon, if Yesung finds out you like him and that it wasn't just a drunk mistake it could be the end of Super Junior and worse, your relationship with him. Better to be friends and keep his secret then to risk never seeing Yesung again, who knows how Yesung would react to a confession by his fellow Super Junior member, and male friend.
As Yesung entered Shiwon's room he saw a focused and confident looking Shiwon sitting on his bed.
"Listen Shiwon, about last night I really mea--" confessed Yesung who was now leaning against the doorframe
"No, I'm sorry about yesterday hyung, it was a mistake, it didn't mean anything to me at all, I was drunk and I wasn't thinking straight. Hyung, just forget about it" interrupted Shiwon.
Yesung froze as he understood what Shiwon was saying. Yesterday? Mistake? Didn't mean anything? He felt crushed. He looked to see Shiwon staring right at him.
"Do you really mean that" asked Yesung who already knew what the answer was. He had known Shiwon for years and he could tell that Shiwon was serious.
"Yes" Shiwon coldly stated, he stood up to look out the window because he could feel his demeanor starting to crack.
"Okay then" answered Yesung. He could feel tears welling up in the corners of his eyes. He was Yesung. The Yesung. An amazing singer, a member of Super Junior. He couldn't cry in front of people, it just felt wrong. So he quickly turned and left the room as quietly as he entered closing the door behind him.
Shiwon cracked. Tears were streaming down his face as he stumbled back to his bed and under his covers. It ached. It hurt, more than anything he had ever felt in his life. It was wrong. It felt wrong. Why should he have to lie about his feelings? Slowly, he regained his composure and started thinking clearly. This is necessary, he convinced himself, Yes, it hurts, but its better than the alternative. It's like acting . . . yeah like acting. With that he vowed to himself to stay strong.
Yesung quickly ran back to his room and locked himself inside. Tears were already overflowing. He collapsed onto his bed and cried. He hated Shiwon. Hate. No he laughed. That isn't right, I know that I love that man, I know. I gave myself to that man. Hate? I don't hate him. I hate what I've become. A weakling that cries whenever his feelings are hurt. He knew this was stupid. Crying wouldn't help anything at all. His mind was telling him one thing but his heart. His heart. It was telling him to cry, because it hurt. So, alone in his room, Yesung cried, drenched his satin pillow with tears of agony.
~~End of the (really really long) flashback~~
He quickly wiped his tears and finished washing up and moved downstairs to eat a small breakfast. Luckily he wasn't down there only Hangeng, Ryeowook, and Donghae were.
"Shhhh. He's coming" whispered Ryeowook. The other members didn't know what to do. Of course all the members (excluding Shiwon) noticed that Yesung was acting strangely and he's been acting that way for 2 weeks. It was like he died on the inside or something close to it. All he did was complete his schedule, eat, and hideout back in his room. But, only Ryeowook knew that Yesung cried every night in his room. Of course, Yesung believed that Ryeowook was sleeping but Ryeowook couldn't sleep night and he witnessed the deed. The three members who were already eating quickly quieted down and ate.
"Kangin, we need to do something about Yesung and Shiwon. Yesung seems like he's really in trouble and Shiwon was acting like a cold stone" stated Eeteuk suddenly who sat up in his bed. Kangin who was laying next to jumped at the sudden movement.
"I know something's going to between them but they can fix it on their own, relax they aren't children" answered Kangin who was attempting to stifle a yawn. Then he attempted to pull Eeteuk back down but crafty Eeteuk quickly jumped out of the bed and gave Kangin a glare.
"They're my children and I'm worried. It's been two weeks of death around here, something serious happened and we need to fix it. We agreed to give them 2 weeks and it's been passed 2 weeks as of this morning Kangin." answered Eeteuk who started pacing around the room as an attempt to think of a way to help the two ailing members.
"Why don't we just leave them alone in the dorm together?" Kangin started crawling back under the covers to escape the blinding rays of sunlight.
"Kangin, that is a stupi-- wait... thats a great idea Kangin. That's why I love you" he stated as he ruffled Kangin's hair.
1 hour later
All the super junior members excluding Shiwon who was still apparently sleeping were gathered in the living room.
"Everybody, we are going to the zoo!! Except Yesung because we don't like him" yelled Eeteuk and all the members started cheering and filed out of the house leaving a shocked and confused Yesung standing in the living room. Okay... that was really odd, Yesung thought. Well, I'm alone in the house now. Yesung also thought that in the large commotion Shiwon had also left the house.
Shiwon was sitting on his bed. Not sleeping. He woke up a few hours ago but couldn't go back to sleep.
"Time to get up" he sighed. Today was going to be a long day he could feel it. He walked to the mirror and started telling himself the same things he had been for the past 2 weeks. Shiwon, I can do this. I have to do this. It hurt's but I have to be strong. With he put his cool demeanor and he headed out of the room. Before he left the room he paused. He could hear Eeteuk yelling something about zoos and everybody lets go. He heard everyone leave and the house was dead silent. Okay... that was really odd. Didn't we have schedules today? Well, I guess they're canceled. So he went to the restroom and as he was walking out a though crossed his mind Waitt, why did they leave me!! thought Shiwon as he hurried to catch up with the groups of singers.
Yesung was busy looking the pictures of various SuJu members that hung in the living room. He looked at a cute picture of Eeteuk and Kangin, Donghae and Eunhyuk. He wondered why he couldn't be happy like the other members. What did he do wrong to receive this torture? As he scanned the numerous pictures that were on the wall he came across a picture he hadn't noticed before. It was a picture of him and Shiwon with their arms linked doing the can-can on top of the table. I didn't know we had a picture of this he thought, I wonder who took a picture of this? As he examined the picture the thoughts of the past 2 weeks and that night came flooding back to him, again. But, this time it was much stronger, the blissful looks on his and Shiwon's faces. The linking of arms. Dancing. Laughing. Happiness. These memories compounded the pain and hurt that now flooded into him. He crouched down held himself and cried, again. He would usually go back to his room to cry quietly but the built up tension exploded. He felt like his heart was going to fall apart so he desperately held his knees against his chest and sobbed, louder and more painfully than ever before.
Shiwon quickly pulled out his phone as he neared the living room so that he could call Eeteuk and ask where they were. As he neared the living room he could swear he heard someone crying. It sounded painful. It wasn't just crying because one was sad. It was crying because of the pain someone's heart was feeling. He slowly crept toward the living room not wanting to disturb whoever it was. His heart broke when he saw that it was Yesung huddled on the ground sobbing.
Then he heard Yesung sob something, "Shiwonnie, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I don't care if it hurts I still love you."
Shiwon cracked. Yesung. His Sungie was hurt and he needed Shiwon. Most importantly, Yesung loved Shiwon. He just realized how much of a fool he had been. Blind. All of Shiwon's pent up feelings for Yesung were released and he quickly rushed to Yesung, kneeled down and hugged him as tight and as close to himself as possible from behind. Before he knew it tears were streaming down his face, his hurt but more importantly yesung's pain all of it was his fault.
He sobbed, "I'm sorry for hurting you Sungie, I'm so stupid, I didn't know so I pushed you away, Sungie, I love you, I love you, I love you."
Yesung gasped when he realized who was behind him and froze. The words. The three word phrase he had been wanting, no, needing to hear had been spoken by the only person that mattered to him now. After what Shiwon just said sunk in, both he and Shiwon stood up and faced each other, tears still streaming down their faces.
Yesung shouted, "What the hell is wrong with you!" as he beat his small, delicate hands against Shiwon's broad, muscular chest. Shiwon wiped his own tears and smiled.
"Why are you smiling! I hate you" Yesung shouted as he continued to hit Shiwon. Shiwon then wiped Yesung's tears delicately and proceeded to give Yesung a deep kiss. Yesung gasped and stopped his flailing arms as Shiwon's tongue gently pushed its way into Yesung's hot cavern. Yesung parted his mouth and both tongues fought for dominance of the kiss.
He gasped as Shiwon pulled away, Yesung could see the lusty gaze and Shiwon's eyes so he stated, "You know, no one is home right now." With that Shiwon picked up Yesung bridal style and carried him to the bedroom.
Yesung pouted, "I still hate you."
Author: heyitshaii
Pairing: Yesung/Shiwon
Theme: # 023: Tears
Genre: Angsty (happy ending)
Rating: NC-15 (I think)
Fic: 2/100
Disclaimer: I don’t own any human being. Including the members. The story is of my creation so don’t compare the details to reality.
A/N: Comments are love!! and this is Un-Betad, there are probably silly little errors here and there. This is the first time writing anything explicit, It felt so weird writing it but it's finally done, hopefully it's not too horrible. It's really long too, I didn't even mean to write this much, it was supposed to be a drabble but it turned into a scary monster!!
Yesung was sick. No, not the kind of sick you become when you contract some sort of virus. He was sick of wanting whom he could never have. He was also sick of the countless lonely nights spent soaking his satin pillow with tears and sorrow. In fact, he was disgusted by the fluffy love-filled dramas Sungmin spent all of his time watching and he detested the romantic novels Ryeowook not so secretly read every night. Wasn't love supposed to induce a feeling of desire, passion, and fulfillment? Most importantly, wasn't love supposed to secure a feeling of happiness, contentment, and bliss? These thoughts swarmed his mind incessantly, tortuously while he wept, leaving him to wonder what he did wrong as he drifted off to sleep.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. SMACK!!
Yesung quietly slid up and moved to the bathroom tend to his early morning routines. He used to groan and whine when he awoke. He used to sneak in an extra 15 minutes of sleep every morning. Then again, he used to be happy as well. Yesung finds that because his heart is in such agonizing pain, there isn't a reason to complain or groan anymore, there is no reason to if it doesn't cure the aching pain that haunts him. He started at the mirror. He looked pitiful. Also, he's realized he's changed a lot of habits since the incident two weeks ago. He eats less, he only speaks when absolutely necessary, and worst of all he avoids him whenever he can because it hurts too much and is reminded of every detail of that night.
~~Flashback~~
"Guys, we have to celebrate," Kangin cheered as he walked into the living room now occupied by the 13 members of Super Junior, who had just won the SBS Inkigayo Mutizen Song: Triple Crown, carrying several cases of beer.
Kibum and Ryeowook spread the bottles amongst the laughing, joyous members.
"I think Yesung is really getting into this "celebration"," pointed Kyuhyun who really doesn't like alcohol and wished his hyungs wouldn't drink since it was bad for your health. The members looked to see a Yesung dancing on top of the table crazily, singing, "Sorry, Sorry". A few moments later Shiwon joined him on top of the table, with their arms liked they proceeded to do the can-can.
"Hey, Shiwon and Yesung, don't get so crazy yet, we haven't even opened the bottles yet, how crazy are you going to get when you're drunk, please don't hurt yourself" shouted Eeteuk who was in the process of trying to open his bottle of beer but failing utterly until Kangin arrived to rescue the fair-skinned singer.
Yesung and Shiwon both replied in unison, "Why not hyung, we're so happy that months of practicing the song finally paid off" The two of them stared at each for a moment and started laughing hysterically after their odd twin moment.
"Shiwon, don't drink too much" stated Eunhyuk who started to laugh as he remembered a very uncomfortable moment between him and Shiwon. Unbeknownsted to most members Shiwon gets very, extremely horny when drunk. Luckily, Eunhyuk had been saved by Kangin and the 2 members vowed to never speak of the incident, especially since Shiwon had remembered nothing. A few moments later the award-winning singers started to play various drinking games around the Super Junior dorm, other than Kangin who was just guzzling bottle after bottle following Eeteuk around.
A few hours later all but two members were either sleeping or lying unconscious on the ground. Even Kyuhyun who had apparently been forced to drink by his hyungs. A very drunk Shiwon, who did not listen to Eunhyuk's warning, was latched onto a slightly drunk Yesung's arm. Yesung who had been known to hold his liquor very well was trying to pull the heavier, muscular man to his room. Yesung shoved the younger man onto the his bed and groaned as he sat down next to Shiwon. Yesung noted to himself that carrying heavy men while drunk makes you very tired. Yesung laid down and stared at the surprisingly cute man. Unbeknownsted to any living being other than himself, he knew that had feelings for the younger man but it had never amounted to anything substantial. He didn't know how the younger felt and he'd rather keep it that way then risk losing their friendship. Right now, laying in bed next to Shiwon, Yesung was happy and content
Yesung opened his eyes as he felt a pair arms grab his shoulders. He looked up to see Shiwon's muscular and defined body straddlig his own slimmer one. He also noticed that it was still dark out which meant he hadn't dozed off for long.
"Uhhh.. Shiwon, you can get off now" stated a confused Yesung as he struggled to escape from the younger's grip.
"Why would I do that hyung, I want you" slurred a still drunk Shiwon who had succeeded in stripping Yesung of his jacket.
"Shiwonnie, stop joking around, I know you're drunk but I didn't think you were capable of think up such jokes while drunk" whined Yesung who was freaked out by the younger man who was successfully stripping him of his clothes. Yesung had always thought that Shiwon held his liquor better than anybody, whenever the group went drinking Shiwon had never been drunk before. Yesung thought, Well, he has to be joking, I know he holds his liquor really well, better than me even and he drank less than me tonight
"I'm not joking" Shiwon whispered in his ear. It sent shivers up his spine and a thought floated into Yesung's mind, Maybe,just maybe, he likes me back too. Yesung was now in the happiest moment of his life, even though he had now lost his shirt.
"I hope you're serious, because I think I like you too, but still you can stop now, you succeeded in freaking me ou--" Yesung spoke before he was cut off by the feeling of a hard object against his thigh. He looked up to see Shiwon smirking at him before he was forcibly flipped unto his stomach by the stronger man.
"No, I don't think so hyung not until I get what I want, and I know you know what that is" Shiwon whispered huskily as he pulled the jeans off of his hyung.
"S-S-Stop, r-r-really Shiwon" stuttered Yesung who was now really scared. The thought of rape crossed his mind but he shook his head. Shiwonnie wouldn't do that to me, he thought Plus,I know he's not that drunk so he must be thinking clearly. At this point Shiwon had successfully stripped Yesung of all his clothes. Shiwon held Yesung's noticeably smaller hands above his head as Yesung lay frozen. Yesung gasped as he felt a finger enter him.
"Hyung, are you ready for another" asked Shiwon. Yesung looked back to see Shiwon gazing down at him, eyes full of lust. He then felt another finger enter him and make scissoring motions.
"Shiwonnie, hurry" gasped Yesung who had convinced himself that Shiwon was completely conscious and aware of his actions since Shiwon was preparing him, who does that when they're drunk?
"As you wish" huffed Shiwon who was growing impatient. Watching his hyung squirm under his ministrations had instantly turned his member rock hard and throbbing. Yesung took in a sharp intake of air as the fingers left him feeling empty. He let out a sharp cry of pain as Shiwon's cock penetrated deep into his body. As soon as the pain subsided he urged Shiwon to by trying to force the cock deeper. It felt so wonderful, he was really making love with the one person he had feelings toward.
"Greedy, aren't we Sungie" groaned Shiwon as he felt Yesung's very tight walls around his cock. Still holding Yesung's arms above his head Shiwon started to thrust faster into the beautiful body underneath him. Yesung gasped as he felt Shiwon's member hit the spot inside him. He could swear he could see stars.
Yesung whined, "Shiwonnie, I need to touch myself" With that Shiwon let go of Yesung's wrists and Yesung got up onto his knees and started pumping himself in time with Shiwon's deep thrusts. Yesung could feel himself getting closer to the edge as Shiwon hit his spot again and again. Shiwon gasped as he felt Yesung's walls tighten around his member and watched as Yesung screamed his name and released his seed onto his own stomach. Yesung groaned as he felt the waves of pleasure envelope his body. At this instant, his infatuation and feelings toward Shiwon had blossomed to more than just a crush, he was sure that Shiwon was the one for him, he was sure that he loved Shiwon. Shiwon sped up and thrusted even harder and faster as he reached his edge and spilled his seed deep into his hyung's body. Shiwon thrusted out the rest of his orgasm, pulled out and collapsed onto the satin pillow that sat next to his hyung. Both boys, who were breathing heavily, quickly fell asleep as the events of the night took its toll on their bodies.
The next morning, Shiwon awoke to find a Yesung sleeping peacefully next to him and huge throbbing headache. He tried to remember what happened the previous night but all he remembers his starting to drink beer and then darkness. As he looked around the room he noticed that he was naked. What the. . . he thought Where are my clothes. . . He saw his clothes on the opposite side of the room so he got up to retrieve them. But as he got up his leg also pulled the covers down which revealed a naked Yesung as well. Shiwon put two and two together and though "Shit". He quickly put on his clothes and left to his room. Back in his room he sat in his bed as countless thoughts crossed his mind: I know I like Yesung hyung. I'm sure he doesn't like me that way. He was drunk. I was drunk. He can't learn that I like him. It would ruin the group. It might ruin our friendship. and with those thoughts he made his decision.
Yesung awoke to find an empty bed and a killer headache.
"Shiwonnie" he whined as he look around the room. I bet he's in the bathroom or something he thought. After a few minutes Shiwon hadn't come back so Yesung was beginning to get worried. Yesung found and put his clothes back on and proceeded to search the house for Shiwon.
As he neared Shiwon's room he called "Shiwonnie, I need to talk to you"
"Shit." Shiwon whispered. No, he thought, I have to focus. He was determined to stick with his decision to the end and do whatever it takes to preserve his secret. Remember, Shiwon, if Yesung finds out you like him and that it wasn't just a drunk mistake it could be the end of Super Junior and worse, your relationship with him. Better to be friends and keep his secret then to risk never seeing Yesung again, who knows how Yesung would react to a confession by his fellow Super Junior member, and male friend.
As Yesung entered Shiwon's room he saw a focused and confident looking Shiwon sitting on his bed.
"Listen Shiwon, about last night I really mea--" confessed Yesung who was now leaning against the doorframe
"No, I'm sorry about yesterday hyung, it was a mistake, it didn't mean anything to me at all, I was drunk and I wasn't thinking straight. Hyung, just forget about it" interrupted Shiwon.
Yesung froze as he understood what Shiwon was saying. Yesterday? Mistake? Didn't mean anything? He felt crushed. He looked to see Shiwon staring right at him.
"Do you really mean that" asked Yesung who already knew what the answer was. He had known Shiwon for years and he could tell that Shiwon was serious.
"Yes" Shiwon coldly stated, he stood up to look out the window because he could feel his demeanor starting to crack.
"Okay then" answered Yesung. He could feel tears welling up in the corners of his eyes. He was Yesung. The Yesung. An amazing singer, a member of Super Junior. He couldn't cry in front of people, it just felt wrong. So he quickly turned and left the room as quietly as he entered closing the door behind him.
Shiwon cracked. Tears were streaming down his face as he stumbled back to his bed and under his covers. It ached. It hurt, more than anything he had ever felt in his life. It was wrong. It felt wrong. Why should he have to lie about his feelings? Slowly, he regained his composure and started thinking clearly. This is necessary, he convinced himself, Yes, it hurts, but its better than the alternative. It's like acting . . . yeah like acting. With that he vowed to himself to stay strong.
Yesung quickly ran back to his room and locked himself inside. Tears were already overflowing. He collapsed onto his bed and cried. He hated Shiwon. Hate. No he laughed. That isn't right, I know that I love that man, I know. I gave myself to that man. Hate? I don't hate him. I hate what I've become. A weakling that cries whenever his feelings are hurt. He knew this was stupid. Crying wouldn't help anything at all. His mind was telling him one thing but his heart. His heart. It was telling him to cry, because it hurt. So, alone in his room, Yesung cried, drenched his satin pillow with tears of agony.
~~End of the (really really long) flashback~~
He quickly wiped his tears and finished washing up and moved downstairs to eat a small breakfast. Luckily he wasn't down there only Hangeng, Ryeowook, and Donghae were.
"Shhhh. He's coming" whispered Ryeowook. The other members didn't know what to do. Of course all the members (excluding Shiwon) noticed that Yesung was acting strangely and he's been acting that way for 2 weeks. It was like he died on the inside or something close to it. All he did was complete his schedule, eat, and hideout back in his room. But, only Ryeowook knew that Yesung cried every night in his room. Of course, Yesung believed that Ryeowook was sleeping but Ryeowook couldn't sleep night and he witnessed the deed. The three members who were already eating quickly quieted down and ate.
"Kangin, we need to do something about Yesung and Shiwon. Yesung seems like he's really in trouble and Shiwon was acting like a cold stone" stated Eeteuk suddenly who sat up in his bed. Kangin who was laying next to jumped at the sudden movement.
"I know something's going to between them but they can fix it on their own, relax they aren't children" answered Kangin who was attempting to stifle a yawn. Then he attempted to pull Eeteuk back down but crafty Eeteuk quickly jumped out of the bed and gave Kangin a glare.
"They're my children and I'm worried. It's been two weeks of death around here, something serious happened and we need to fix it. We agreed to give them 2 weeks and it's been passed 2 weeks as of this morning Kangin." answered Eeteuk who started pacing around the room as an attempt to think of a way to help the two ailing members.
"Why don't we just leave them alone in the dorm together?" Kangin started crawling back under the covers to escape the blinding rays of sunlight.
"Kangin, that is a stupi-- wait... thats a great idea Kangin. That's why I love you" he stated as he ruffled Kangin's hair.
1 hour later
All the super junior members excluding Shiwon who was still apparently sleeping were gathered in the living room.
"Everybody, we are going to the zoo!! Except Yesung because we don't like him" yelled Eeteuk and all the members started cheering and filed out of the house leaving a shocked and confused Yesung standing in the living room. Okay... that was really odd, Yesung thought. Well, I'm alone in the house now. Yesung also thought that in the large commotion Shiwon had also left the house.
Shiwon was sitting on his bed. Not sleeping. He woke up a few hours ago but couldn't go back to sleep.
"Time to get up" he sighed. Today was going to be a long day he could feel it. He walked to the mirror and started telling himself the same things he had been for the past 2 weeks. Shiwon, I can do this. I have to do this. It hurt's but I have to be strong. With he put his cool demeanor and he headed out of the room. Before he left the room he paused. He could hear Eeteuk yelling something about zoos and everybody lets go. He heard everyone leave and the house was dead silent. Okay... that was really odd. Didn't we have schedules today? Well, I guess they're canceled. So he went to the restroom and as he was walking out a though crossed his mind Waitt, why did they leave me!! thought Shiwon as he hurried to catch up with the groups of singers.
Yesung was busy looking the pictures of various SuJu members that hung in the living room. He looked at a cute picture of Eeteuk and Kangin, Donghae and Eunhyuk. He wondered why he couldn't be happy like the other members. What did he do wrong to receive this torture? As he scanned the numerous pictures that were on the wall he came across a picture he hadn't noticed before. It was a picture of him and Shiwon with their arms linked doing the can-can on top of the table. I didn't know we had a picture of this he thought, I wonder who took a picture of this? As he examined the picture the thoughts of the past 2 weeks and that night came flooding back to him, again. But, this time it was much stronger, the blissful looks on his and Shiwon's faces. The linking of arms. Dancing. Laughing. Happiness. These memories compounded the pain and hurt that now flooded into him. He crouched down held himself and cried, again. He would usually go back to his room to cry quietly but the built up tension exploded. He felt like his heart was going to fall apart so he desperately held his knees against his chest and sobbed, louder and more painfully than ever before.
Shiwon quickly pulled out his phone as he neared the living room so that he could call Eeteuk and ask where they were. As he neared the living room he could swear he heard someone crying. It sounded painful. It wasn't just crying because one was sad. It was crying because of the pain someone's heart was feeling. He slowly crept toward the living room not wanting to disturb whoever it was. His heart broke when he saw that it was Yesung huddled on the ground sobbing.
Then he heard Yesung sob something, "Shiwonnie, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I don't care if it hurts I still love you."
Shiwon cracked. Yesung. His Sungie was hurt and he needed Shiwon. Most importantly, Yesung loved Shiwon. He just realized how much of a fool he had been. Blind. All of Shiwon's pent up feelings for Yesung were released and he quickly rushed to Yesung, kneeled down and hugged him as tight and as close to himself as possible from behind. Before he knew it tears were streaming down his face, his hurt but more importantly yesung's pain all of it was his fault.
He sobbed, "I'm sorry for hurting you Sungie, I'm so stupid, I didn't know so I pushed you away, Sungie, I love you, I love you, I love you."
Yesung gasped when he realized who was behind him and froze. The words. The three word phrase he had been wanting, no, needing to hear had been spoken by the only person that mattered to him now. After what Shiwon just said sunk in, both he and Shiwon stood up and faced each other, tears still streaming down their faces.
Yesung shouted, "What the hell is wrong with you!" as he beat his small, delicate hands against Shiwon's broad, muscular chest. Shiwon wiped his own tears and smiled.
"Why are you smiling! I hate you" Yesung shouted as he continued to hit Shiwon. Shiwon then wiped Yesung's tears delicately and proceeded to give Yesung a deep kiss. Yesung gasped and stopped his flailing arms as Shiwon's tongue gently pushed its way into Yesung's hot cavern. Yesung parted his mouth and both tongues fought for dominance of the kiss.
He gasped as Shiwon pulled away, Yesung could see the lusty gaze and Shiwon's eyes so he stated, "You know, no one is home right now." With that Shiwon picked up Yesung bridal style and carried him to the bedroom.
Yesung pouted, "I still hate you."