Not quite "insert Tab A into Slot B,' but getting closer...
First, I'd like to say hello to the new readers who found their way here from Dawn's blog. Hi new people!!
So.
Y'know how Kevin's on this quest for reproductive knowledge. How he knows everything from fertilization through birth. How, at first, the only missing piece to the puzzle was how sperm and egg get together. And then he announced how he's discovered how that is accomplished.
Not so for chickens, according to reproductive expert Kev. Because, as it was explained to me, chickens have beaks instead of lips, so the sperm have to find an alternate route to the eggs.
Kev: "So do you know how the chicken sperm gets to the woman?"
Me: :::thinking so much is wrong with that question::: "How it what to the who??"
Kev: "To the woman chicken, Mom! Not a human woman!"
Me: "Yeah, I gathered that, Kev. But I'm having a hard time with 'chicken sperm.' Don't you mean 'rooster sperm?'" (Hey, if he's gonna be all correct and stuff, so am I).
Kev: :::sigh::: "Yes rooster sperm, whatever. Do you know how it gets to the egg?"
Me: "School me, boy."
Kev: "Well, it can't go through the lips because they don't have lips. So, the rooster climbs on top of the chicken...."
Me: "Uh-huh."
Kev: "And then..." :::looks around to see if anyone's listening, even though it's 9 p.m. and we're snuggling in his bed; and we're the only two who live here::: "....they touch butts."
Me: "Touch butts, eh?"
Kev: "Yep! And then the rooster sperm goes out of the rooster butt and into the chicken butt, and then it goes to the egg and fertilizes it. Then the shell goes around it."
Me: "So let me get this straight. For human egg and sperm to meet, a man and a woman have to smooch. And for a chicken egg and rooster sperm to meet, the chicken and rooster have to touch butts."
Kev: "Yes."
Me: "And how did you learn stuff about chickens?"
Kev: "From that book, How to Make a Chicken. It's at school."
Me: "I see."
So that kind of makes my favorite childhood cartoons kinda weird.
I guess this is going to be the summer that Kev learns how human sperm and egg really meet. It's time. And I'll bet $50 that he won't believe me.
And I'll have to ask him - how come the chicken and rooster don't have to be married for the rooster sperm to know it's okay to go to the butt?
So.
Y'know how Kevin's on this quest for reproductive knowledge. How he knows everything from fertilization through birth. How, at first, the only missing piece to the puzzle was how sperm and egg get together. And then he announced how he's discovered how that is accomplished.
Not so for chickens, according to reproductive expert Kev. Because, as it was explained to me, chickens have beaks instead of lips, so the sperm have to find an alternate route to the eggs.
Kev: "So do you know how the chicken sperm gets to the woman?"
Me: :::thinking so much is wrong with that question::: "How it what to the who??"
Kev: "To the woman chicken, Mom! Not a human woman!"
Me: "Yeah, I gathered that, Kev. But I'm having a hard time with 'chicken sperm.' Don't you mean 'rooster sperm?'" (Hey, if he's gonna be all correct and stuff, so am I).
Kev: :::sigh::: "Yes rooster sperm, whatever. Do you know how it gets to the egg?"
Me: "School me, boy."
Kev: "Well, it can't go through the lips because they don't have lips. So, the rooster climbs on top of the chicken...."
Me: "Uh-huh."
Kev: "And then..." :::looks around to see if anyone's listening, even though it's 9 p.m. and we're snuggling in his bed; and we're the only two who live here::: "....they touch butts."
Me: "Touch butts, eh?"
Kev: "Yep! And then the rooster sperm goes out of the rooster butt and into the chicken butt, and then it goes to the egg and fertilizes it. Then the shell goes around it."
Me: "So let me get this straight. For human egg and sperm to meet, a man and a woman have to smooch. And for a chicken egg and rooster sperm to meet, the chicken and rooster have to touch butts."
Kev: "Yes."
Me: "And how did you learn stuff about chickens?"
Kev: "From that book, How to Make a Chicken. It's at school."
Me: "I see."
So that kind of makes my favorite childhood cartoons kinda weird.
I guess this is going to be the summer that Kev learns how human sperm and egg really meet. It's time. And I'll bet $50 that he won't believe me.
And I'll have to ask him - how come the chicken and rooster don't have to be married for the rooster sperm to know it's okay to go to the butt?