I just read . . .
I get "The Epitaph Weekly Newsletter" every week, and I love getting it because of the opening paragraph. This week was the funniest that I could remember. Here it is:
With night terrors, it’s… The Epitaph Weekly Newsletter!
What is it about waking up to someone trying to crap on the end of the bed that freaks a girl out? I mean I didn’t even really need to use the bathroom. It had never happened before. I used to drink all the time. I would just pass into my usual coma after a case of beer. Not this night. After convincing me to pull my undies up and go into the bathroom my unsuspecting wife falls back asleep... Falls asleep only to be woken by mad fumbling in the kitchen. Now, if you want to take her word for it, she finds me butt naked, sitting on the oven door attempting to do my business in a much worse place than on the bedspread. What? Can’t a guy get a little privacy? She finally wrestles me into the bathroom and it turns out I didn’t even need to go. Sucker! I can’t remember a second of it, but I did know to say “Sorry darling” the second I woke up!
Anyway…
I wonder if married life will work out that way? I hope so.
With night terrors, it’s… The Epitaph Weekly Newsletter!
What is it about waking up to someone trying to crap on the end of the bed that freaks a girl out? I mean I didn’t even really need to use the bathroom. It had never happened before. I used to drink all the time. I would just pass into my usual coma after a case of beer. Not this night. After convincing me to pull my undies up and go into the bathroom my unsuspecting wife falls back asleep... Falls asleep only to be woken by mad fumbling in the kitchen. Now, if you want to take her word for it, she finds me butt naked, sitting on the oven door attempting to do my business in a much worse place than on the bedspread. What? Can’t a guy get a little privacy? She finally wrestles me into the bathroom and it turns out I didn’t even need to go. Sucker! I can’t remember a second of it, but I did know to say “Sorry darling” the second I woke up!
Anyway…
I wonder if married life will work out that way? I hope so.