i know it's been awhile
and i know my entries are so random. nothing has made me want to write until this crossed my path. but first you must know the beginning.
there wasn't much of a beginning... just that i was kind of missing him. not in a romantic way, but in a way that makes you wonder what the hell happened to that person you were so close with? what happened to that person, that for a few short months of your life, you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with. what became of him?
we talked a few times. never face to face. and it was awkward. i always wanted to see him, but then could never bring myself to actually do it.
and every once and awhile i would think that i missed him. until i read this:
"The Band I'm In Plays at Harper's Every Wednesday From 6-10.
And afterwards I drink until close. If you don't know me: I'll be the one standing up every five seconds looking around. I'll be the one who knows the waiter or waitress and is getting anyone that wants a shot a shot. I'll be chain-smoking and talking loudly of anything that crosses my mind. I'll have a brand new shirt on and a wild look in my eye. If I don't get bugged to dance, I dance of my own accord. I got the crazy legs. I'll act drunk and raucously, but be more sober than anyone else I'm around.
I'm the desperate socialite whose taste in liquor, food, clothing, style, and cigarette lacks of discrimination... but: I will ask what kind of music you like and my judgements will begin from there."
this reminded me of who he was. although it is excellent writing, it does not make up for the person he is. the person that could never really truly care for another. it has proved to me that he has not changed at all. but why would i have wanted him to? it is better this way. sometimes, even if you think you don't need it, you need a wake up call.
there wasn't much of a beginning... just that i was kind of missing him. not in a romantic way, but in a way that makes you wonder what the hell happened to that person you were so close with? what happened to that person, that for a few short months of your life, you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with. what became of him?
we talked a few times. never face to face. and it was awkward. i always wanted to see him, but then could never bring myself to actually do it.
and every once and awhile i would think that i missed him. until i read this:
"The Band I'm In Plays at Harper's Every Wednesday From 6-10.
And afterwards I drink until close. If you don't know me: I'll be the one standing up every five seconds looking around. I'll be the one who knows the waiter or waitress and is getting anyone that wants a shot a shot. I'll be chain-smoking and talking loudly of anything that crosses my mind. I'll have a brand new shirt on and a wild look in my eye. If I don't get bugged to dance, I dance of my own accord. I got the crazy legs. I'll act drunk and raucously, but be more sober than anyone else I'm around.
I'm the desperate socialite whose taste in liquor, food, clothing, style, and cigarette lacks of discrimination... but: I will ask what kind of music you like and my judgements will begin from there."
this reminded me of who he was. although it is excellent writing, it does not make up for the person he is. the person that could never really truly care for another. it has proved to me that he has not changed at all. but why would i have wanted him to? it is better this way. sometimes, even if you think you don't need it, you need a wake up call.