almost phone sex
Jesus Fucking Christ
We haven't even had a first kiss and hot damn ...
Unlike the last time I felt so aroused talking to him on the phone, I resisted handling myself last night. I'm sure he didn't know I let my hands wander last time. We weren't even talking about anything salacious then.
The conversation last night, however, got a little more frisky than I thought we'd be comfortable discussing so quickly -- yes, despite my feeling comfortable enough to silently pleasure myself while he mostly talked a week ago. You see, I thought it was just me who was hot under the collar, that is, until I heard his voice soften and go dark and I could just picture him leaning in, awaiting my reply. That's what actually held me back from truly detailing how he made me feel when he slid his hands along my neck. We haven't had a first kiss, and haven't talked about many important things, and I didn't want to be fool-hearty.
He randomly mentioned that he went on a date with a woman married to one of his friends, and it was kinda at the request of his friend. I could never have imagined we had this in common. He was a little stumped when I told him, "me, too."
I explained that I had a few friends who were polyamorous, and a couple of the husbands thought I was cute, but only one was interested me as opposed to only interested in sex. The guy I dated, Keith, is married to Athena. They are very cool people. My other friends, too, are cool, though we've all lost touch over the years.
I could sense some tension over the phone and didn't realize I'd forgotten to say that polyamory wasn't my thing, and that I wasn't then nor now interested in pursuing that kind of relationship. He audibly sighed with relief.
We talked about Philip Seymour Hoffman, and his fabulous films. He agreed that he's awesome in Punch Drunk Love. I have yet to see Capote, and Mr. C says I should also see Doubt and Pirate Radio. I think a PSH theme would be perfect for a movie day.
Hallelujah, he's not a virgin.
I didn't even realize how concerned I was that he was until he said, "the last time I had sex," and a wave of relief washed over me.
I told him I thought he might be a virgin and was glad to hear he wasn't. He said he felt he may be re-virginized because it's been years. I smiled and said it's been years for me, too. He didn't quite believe me, but I reminded him that I've never had a one night stand and broke up with my last boyfriend a while ago.
He was 19 and at a college party (I surmise) when he had sex for the first time. It sounded like he met her that night and never really saw her again. I felt bad for him. I think I might have even said, "aw that sucks." And I meant it. Sex is so much better once the initial awkwardness and figuring out one another's bodies is sorted and preferences are known and can be delivered time and time again.
I did not tell him that my first time has remained one of the best sexual experiences I've ever had.
He said, "I know that's late."
"No, it's not. That's before I did. I was 22. And my boyfriend was a virgin, too. My previous boyfriend, who I was with for years, didn't want to. He told me later, after we broke up, that he was kicking himself for repeatedly turning me down."
I told him that I know a few virgins who are older than I. He said, "oh, asexual," which reminded me, "oh yeah, I forgot a couple people." I didn't list their names, but mentioned one was studying to be a pastor, a couple asexual, one who is hopelessly awkward, one guy who likes girls but calls himself a lone wolf, and one who was assaulted by a priest and sex causes freak outs. [On a side, I like to think of that friend as a virgin partly because s/he considers himself one, but from the things s/he's told me, s/he's probably technically not.] Mr. C said he thought of himself like a lone wolf for a couple years.
Unprompted, he asked if Mike, who he met once at the bonfire, was one of the people, and I couldn't deny it, though I tried to save face for Mike because I know it's something he's self-conscious about. I said he's dated a bit, a woman who was 22 years older than him, "she's in her fifties."
Mr. C "That's a mom!"
I had to laugh because that was exactly my thought when I first learned of their age difference. And I am reminded yet again of the nearly ten years between Mr. C and I.
We got on the topic of sex because we were sharing more concerns and worries and hopes and dreams.
He said one of his worries is that his friends and family and I am here, and there's a school in Rhode Island he's had his eye on, but he's worried the distance would put a strain on things, and is considering not going.
I couldn't help but smile. He's so sweet.
I told him that in a couple years, if we're still together, and he gets accepted, I'd go with him.
I told him I wouldn't know how to be with him in front of friends and it took me a minute to explain that he caresses send happy reverberations through my body, so for my own sanity, w might need to keep the touching to a minimum.
He said he worries he'll be physically inadequate, both in his general physique and in the sack. He says he's got a little muffin top. I tell him I share those concerns, not about him, but about myself. I am not healthy and I want to me. He said, "I can help you."
He's wonderful.
He said he's nervous about sex. When I asked what about it makes him nervous and he said the tightness and insertion and the sensations and I am not sure precisely what is causing anxiety, and I didn't press the issue further during the call, but I'm betting it's something we can sort out. I know I'd like to make him happy, and he's said repeatedly over this past month that making me happy is an aim of his. I told him his natural inclination and caresses while absent-minded have the effect as if he was given a how-to on me. And if that's any indication, he'll be stupendous.
We haven't even had a first kiss and hot damn ...
Unlike the last time I felt so aroused talking to him on the phone, I resisted handling myself last night. I'm sure he didn't know I let my hands wander last time. We weren't even talking about anything salacious then.
The conversation last night, however, got a little more frisky than I thought we'd be comfortable discussing so quickly -- yes, despite my feeling comfortable enough to silently pleasure myself while he mostly talked a week ago. You see, I thought it was just me who was hot under the collar, that is, until I heard his voice soften and go dark and I could just picture him leaning in, awaiting my reply. That's what actually held me back from truly detailing how he made me feel when he slid his hands along my neck. We haven't had a first kiss, and haven't talked about many important things, and I didn't want to be fool-hearty.
He randomly mentioned that he went on a date with a woman married to one of his friends, and it was kinda at the request of his friend. I could never have imagined we had this in common. He was a little stumped when I told him, "me, too."
I explained that I had a few friends who were polyamorous, and a couple of the husbands thought I was cute, but only one was interested me as opposed to only interested in sex. The guy I dated, Keith, is married to Athena. They are very cool people. My other friends, too, are cool, though we've all lost touch over the years.
I could sense some tension over the phone and didn't realize I'd forgotten to say that polyamory wasn't my thing, and that I wasn't then nor now interested in pursuing that kind of relationship. He audibly sighed with relief.
We talked about Philip Seymour Hoffman, and his fabulous films. He agreed that he's awesome in Punch Drunk Love. I have yet to see Capote, and Mr. C says I should also see Doubt and Pirate Radio. I think a PSH theme would be perfect for a movie day.
Hallelujah, he's not a virgin.
I didn't even realize how concerned I was that he was until he said, "the last time I had sex," and a wave of relief washed over me.
I told him I thought he might be a virgin and was glad to hear he wasn't. He said he felt he may be re-virginized because it's been years. I smiled and said it's been years for me, too. He didn't quite believe me, but I reminded him that I've never had a one night stand and broke up with my last boyfriend a while ago.
He was 19 and at a college party (I surmise) when he had sex for the first time. It sounded like he met her that night and never really saw her again. I felt bad for him. I think I might have even said, "aw that sucks." And I meant it. Sex is so much better once the initial awkwardness and figuring out one another's bodies is sorted and preferences are known and can be delivered time and time again.
I did not tell him that my first time has remained one of the best sexual experiences I've ever had.
He said, "I know that's late."
"No, it's not. That's before I did. I was 22. And my boyfriend was a virgin, too. My previous boyfriend, who I was with for years, didn't want to. He told me later, after we broke up, that he was kicking himself for repeatedly turning me down."
I told him that I know a few virgins who are older than I. He said, "oh, asexual," which reminded me, "oh yeah, I forgot a couple people." I didn't list their names, but mentioned one was studying to be a pastor, a couple asexual, one who is hopelessly awkward, one guy who likes girls but calls himself a lone wolf, and one who was assaulted by a priest and sex causes freak outs. [On a side, I like to think of that friend as a virgin partly because s/he considers himself one, but from the things s/he's told me, s/he's probably technically not.] Mr. C said he thought of himself like a lone wolf for a couple years.
Unprompted, he asked if Mike, who he met once at the bonfire, was one of the people, and I couldn't deny it, though I tried to save face for Mike because I know it's something he's self-conscious about. I said he's dated a bit, a woman who was 22 years older than him, "she's in her fifties."
Mr. C "That's a mom!"
I had to laugh because that was exactly my thought when I first learned of their age difference. And I am reminded yet again of the nearly ten years between Mr. C and I.
We got on the topic of sex because we were sharing more concerns and worries and hopes and dreams.
He said one of his worries is that his friends and family and I am here, and there's a school in Rhode Island he's had his eye on, but he's worried the distance would put a strain on things, and is considering not going.
I couldn't help but smile. He's so sweet.
I told him that in a couple years, if we're still together, and he gets accepted, I'd go with him.
I told him I wouldn't know how to be with him in front of friends and it took me a minute to explain that he caresses send happy reverberations through my body, so for my own sanity, w might need to keep the touching to a minimum.
He said he worries he'll be physically inadequate, both in his general physique and in the sack. He says he's got a little muffin top. I tell him I share those concerns, not about him, but about myself. I am not healthy and I want to me. He said, "I can help you."
He's wonderful.
He said he's nervous about sex. When I asked what about it makes him nervous and he said the tightness and insertion and the sensations and I am not sure precisely what is causing anxiety, and I didn't press the issue further during the call, but I'm betting it's something we can sort out. I know I'd like to make him happy, and he's said repeatedly over this past month that making me happy is an aim of his. I told him his natural inclination and caresses while absent-minded have the effect as if he was given a how-to on me. And if that's any indication, he'll be stupendous.