This Concept of 'Wuv' Confuses and Infuriates Us
Kevin, the eldest of Jonas Brothers, doesn't mention exactly on what he is going to do this coming Valentine's. Yet, he recalls one of his favorite memories, telling M magazine, "I once surprised a girl with a steak dinner that I prepared. Then, I gave her her favorite chick-flick and we watched it together."
Oh, Kevin!
Title: This Concept of 'Wuv' Confuses and Infuriates Us
Pairing: Kevin Jonas/Zac Efron
Summary: Kevin and Zac are each other's valentines.
Notes: A little 2400 word ditty in the Bible Camp universe. For hongkongaton, for Valentimes Day. I had this song stuck in my head while I was writing this and for a million days before that. I don't know that this will enhance your experience or not, but it is the truth. The title comes, you should know, from Futurama.
Kevin's mom buys them all themed valentines to hand out. There are four themes for them to choose from: Blue's Clues (Joe's pick), Charlie Brown (Nick's pick), Tweety Bird (Frankie's pick), and Powerpuff Girls (the pick Kevin is left with).
"You can give them to your friends at school!" Kevin's mom says.
"Mom, I can't hand these out," Kevin says. He likes the Powerpuff Girls as much as the next guy, especially Buttercup, because nobody likes her, but he's pretty sure he'd get made fun of so hard for handing out valentines at school. He doesn't even have that many people he could give them to, at least one but maybe two people. His brothers don't have any classmates to embarrass themselves in front of, and the girls and old ladies at church are always charmed by valentines.
"Why not, honey?" Kevin's mom says. "Do you want a different kind? You can switch with one of your brothers."
"I'm a senior," Kevin says.
"That doesn't mean you can't still have fun!" Kevin's mom says. She holds the box of valentines out to him and pokes him in the chest with them until he takes them and smiles at her.
She looks so thankful that her baby isn't too old for fun that he feels bad that he's not planning on actually passing any of them out. He goes upstairs and opens the box and looks through some of the valentines.
Maybe he'll fill one out.
~*~
"Hey," Zac says against Kevin's ear suddenly. He's sitting in the chair behind Kevin in homeroom like he always does until the bell rings and he's forced to move to his assigned seat. Kevin was lost in valentines thoughts, so he jumps and his chair squeaks against the floor. Kevin doesn't understand why schools always have to have the squeakiest linoleum on their floors. Zac gives his shoulder a quick touch to soothe him and Kevin turns around to face him.
"Hey," Kevin says. He lays a hand down flat on Zac's desk. "I didn't know you were here."
"What are you doing this weekend?" Zac says. He taps his fingers on his desk and occasionally, some of them will tap against Kevin's hand. Kevin doesn't know how everyone doesn't know what they're doing. He turns in his chair more and it squeaks again. Kevin feels like the squeaking draws attention to them, but Zac doesn't stop touching his hand.
"I think going out with my family," Kevin says.
"Oh," Zac says.
"Why?" Kevin says, and then the bell rings.
"I'll talk to you later," Zac says. He gets up pretty fast instead of lingering until he gets yelled at to move like he usually does.
Kevin watches Zac go to his seat, but turns and faces the front of the class before Zac can see him watching. He looks at the date on the chalkboard. Oh, oh, this weekend. It's Valentine's Day this weekend. Zac asked him what he was doing for Valentine's Day, and Kevin didn't say he'd be doing something with Zac. He didn't realize that's what Zac was going for.
Kevin has never had a real valentine before. He feels overly giddy after he figures out that Zac asked him to do something on Valentine's Day. He can hardly stand to sit still for 10 more minutes until homeroom ends. He wants to turn around to tell Zac that he's not doing anything this weekend besides Zac, or whatever Zac wants to do, but he figures he should at least wait until he's not in a room full of his peers.
A chair squeaks somewhere behind Kevin and he turns around to glance at where the noise came from. Zac is leaning against his hand staring at the front of the class. He turns his eyes on Kevin when he notices movement and waves under his desk with his other hand.
Kevin waves back above his desk. Zac rolls his eyes like he's pained by Kevin's embarrassing gesture, but Kevin sees his smile before he puts his head down on his arm to hide his face.
~*~
Zac sits with Kevin and Nikki at lunch sometimes, or sometimes he'll sit with Vanessa and Ashley and Corbin and not invite Kevin along. "I don't even like them that much," Zac always says. "They're too wholesome." If they're too wholesome, Kevin doesn't want to know what he is.
Other times, Zac will get Kevin to go outside and eat lunch with him. They're not really supposed to, but whenever Mrs. Cock catches them, she just looks at them like she wishes they were anywhere but at her school and then leaves them be.
Zac tosses his apple back and forth in his hands on their way to the door that leads outside. That's pretty much how Zac always gets Kevin to eat lunch outside with him. Zac only ever eats an apple for lunch, and watching him eat it is usually the highlight of Kevin's day. Zac practically asked Kevin to be his valentine today, though, so that's probably the highlight of Kevin's day on this day.
When they get to the door, Zac leans his back against it to open it. He steps back to open it wider for Kevin to walk out before him. They find a spot on the cement that's not wet with melting snow to sit down.
"What are you doing this weekend?" Kevin says. He rips a piece off his sandwich and puts it into his mouth. He can't bring himself to bite directly off a sandwich in front of Zac without feeling majorly self conscious yet, but he thinks he can get to that point eventually.
"I thought you were hanging out with your family," Zac says. He rubs his apple against his shirt and then looks at it critically so he's not looking at Kevin. After a minute he reaches over and rubs the apple against Kevin's shirt, on his collarbone. "Your shirt has more texture than mine."
Kevin puts his hand over Zac's on his apple lifts it to his mouth so he can breathe on it. He rubs it against his more textured shirt some more before he lets go of Zac's hand.
"They can hang out without me," Kevin says. "You should come over."
Zac takes a bite out of his apple. It's still highlighting Kevin's day. It's like the valentine thing was a neon yellow highlighter, and the apple thing is one of those regular yellow highlighters. "Okay," Zac says with his mouth full.
~*~
Kevin can't lie to his mom. It's not that she doesn't believe lies; it's that Kevin feels so awful lying to her that he can't live with himself when he does it. It feels like there's termites of lies eating away at his internal organs whenever he tries to do it. He's okay with withholding information, but giving her false information is too much. He tells her he won't be going out for family Valentine's Day dinner and funtivities with them because he's going to be hanging out with someone. That's as specific as he gets, and he waits until they're about to leave to say something.
"Oh goodness, well," Kevin's mom says. She puts her coat on, then her earrings, then she gets Frankie in his coat and shoos Joe, Nick, and their dad out the door. She looks at Kevin like she thinks he's not old enough for this, but then she kisses him on the cheek and walks out the door. "Have a nice time."
"You too," Kevin says. He watches the van pull out of the driveway and then bolts to the kitchen. He figures he has a good eight hours before they get back, because they're going into the city. He's sad to miss a trip to the city, but he'd be sadder to miss Zac. He has Valentine's Day funtivities of his own planned.
Kevin's never seen Zac eat anything other than apples and a few bites of Kevin's sandwiches at lunch. Some of those were turkey or some other meat, though, so Kevin knows he's not a vegetarian. Kevin's also never prepared an elaborate meal all by himself before. He's helped his grandma on Thanksgiving, but that's the biggest thing he's done. He washes his hands and gets to work.
He leaves his purity ring off by the sink.
~*~
A couple hours later, Zac shows up. He's got on a wrinkled pale blue button-down shirt, not tucked in, and a suit jacket, and his hair looks like he's been outside in the wind or in front of a fan for several minutes. He looks good.
"Wow, you're all snazzy," Kevin says. He opens the door wide enough for Zac to be able to just barely slide in, so he has to brush against Kevin. Zac takes his shoes off by the door.
"This is just how I look," Zac says. He laughs nervously after and puts a hands through his hair, and it makes him look and sound like a psycho.
"Can I hold your hand right now?" Kevin says. Zac nods, so Kevin holds his hand. "I made something for you."
"What is it?" Zac says. Kevin's hand in his seems to have calmed him down so he's not psychotically nervous for reasons Kevin completely understands but doesn't know how to talk about. He made Zac dinner on Valentine's Day, and it's like, they're valentines. It's like, they're dating.
"A steak dinner," Kevin says, all suave.
Zac laughs like Kevin acting all suave is a joke. A steak dinner, he has heard, is one of the classiest things you can get for another person. He takes Zac into the dining room where dinner is all set up. He didn't want to burn any candles, because his mom would probably notice they were shorter than before, and plus that just seemed like too much. There's a dimmer switch, though, and Kevin put it on pretty low. There are just plates and glasses and steaks and a salad and other ordinary dinner things on the table.
"Oh, you really did," Zac says. He sounds genuinely impressed, and it makes Kevin want to pull his chair out for him, but he feels that would also be too much. He instead waves a hand at a chair that Zac is free to sit in.
They sit down to eat their steak dinner together. There's no way for Kevin to make eating a steak seem like a delicate process, so he just cuts it into pieces slowly and watches Zac eat. Zac has socks on, and Kevin doesn't, so it feels cozy whenever Zac's foot touches Kevin's.
"Do you have any Worcestershire sauce?" Zac says.
"I don't think so," Kevin says. "We might have some A1. I thought you didn't like sauces."
"I don't," Zac says. "I was just asking. This is really great."
Kevin ducks his head and smiles. Zac is nearly finished eating, but Kevin has barely finished cutting his food into bite sized pieces. His knife squeaks against his plate.
"You should just use your hands," Zac says. He picks up his own steak with his hands. It's mostly just bone left, but he gnaws at it. "I don't mind."
"I know," Kevin says. Oh, man, seeing Zac gnaw on that bone should gross him out. He's seen his grandma do that, with her teeth out, and it gave him bad feelings he thought for forever. Nobody wants to watch someone gum at a meat bone. Zac doing it is pretty great, though, especially since he has all his teeth.
When they finish, Zac takes off his jacket and hangs it on the back of his chair. He helps Kevin take their dishes into the kitchen.
"Do you want to watch a movie or something?" Kevin says. He sits in the corner of the couch and Zac sits directly next to him so they're on the same cushion.
"Sure," Zac says. Kevin puts his arm on the back of the couch behind Zac's head and Zac leans into Kevin's side. "What's on TNT?"
Kevin turns the TV on. "Cellular?"
"What's on TBS?"
"You've Got Mail. Which would you rather watch?" Kevin says. He's never seen either movie, but he liked Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump.
Zac tilts his head up to look right at him. "You've Got Mail."
Kevin puts his arm around Zac's shoulders and pulls him closer so he can kiss him on the lips. They watch the movie almost all the way through until Zac looks right at Kevin again and Kevin has to pull him closer and closer to kiss him on the lips again and again.
Eventually Zac gets on top of Kevin, and one of Zac's knees ends between the arm of the couch and the couch cushion and the other is between Kevin's thighs while they kiss.
"Happy Valentine's Day," Zac says against one of Kevin's sideburns when he pulls away from Kevin's mouth to breathe.
"Ditto," Kevin says. "Oh, that reminds me."
"What is it?" Zac says. He tugs at Kevin's curls and tries to kiss him some more, but Kevin holds him off for a minute.
"I have something for you," Kevin says. He takes his hand off Zac's hip to dig around in his pocket. He comes up with a folded valentine card, only slightly damaged from being in his pocket. He even used one of the stickers that comes in the boxes to hold it closed. Zac puts his hand under Kevin's shirt and Kevin sucks his gut in and gives him the valentine to open to try to distract Zac's touches. Zac takes it with only one hand and keeps the other resting on Kevin's belly.
Zac opens the valentine card using his thumb to break the sticker. "To Zac, from Kevin," he reads. "You're made of sugar, and spice, and everything nice."
Kevin's cheeks feel so hot he could cook another steak on them, but he at least feels like he's accomplished something socially. He gave his valentine a valentine.
"Thanks," Zac says. He gently shoves the card into his own pocket to keep, and then he gets back to the touching and kissing.
~*~THE END~*~
hongkongaton (12:31:08 PM): THAT SONG SOUNDS LIKE GARBAGE LMAO
hongkongaton (12:31:14 PM): PERFECT
hongkongaton (12:31:15 PM): 4
hongkongaton (12:31:16 PM): KEVRON
Oh, Kevin!
Title: This Concept of 'Wuv' Confuses and Infuriates Us
Pairing: Kevin Jonas/Zac Efron
Summary: Kevin and Zac are each other's valentines.
Notes: A little 2400 word ditty in the Bible Camp universe. For hongkongaton, for Valentimes Day. I had this song stuck in my head while I was writing this and for a million days before that. I don't know that this will enhance your experience or not, but it is the truth. The title comes, you should know, from Futurama.
Kevin's mom buys them all themed valentines to hand out. There are four themes for them to choose from: Blue's Clues (Joe's pick), Charlie Brown (Nick's pick), Tweety Bird (Frankie's pick), and Powerpuff Girls (the pick Kevin is left with).
"You can give them to your friends at school!" Kevin's mom says.
"Mom, I can't hand these out," Kevin says. He likes the Powerpuff Girls as much as the next guy, especially Buttercup, because nobody likes her, but he's pretty sure he'd get made fun of so hard for handing out valentines at school. He doesn't even have that many people he could give them to, at least one but maybe two people. His brothers don't have any classmates to embarrass themselves in front of, and the girls and old ladies at church are always charmed by valentines.
"Why not, honey?" Kevin's mom says. "Do you want a different kind? You can switch with one of your brothers."
"I'm a senior," Kevin says.
"That doesn't mean you can't still have fun!" Kevin's mom says. She holds the box of valentines out to him and pokes him in the chest with them until he takes them and smiles at her.
She looks so thankful that her baby isn't too old for fun that he feels bad that he's not planning on actually passing any of them out. He goes upstairs and opens the box and looks through some of the valentines.
Maybe he'll fill one out.
~*~
"Hey," Zac says against Kevin's ear suddenly. He's sitting in the chair behind Kevin in homeroom like he always does until the bell rings and he's forced to move to his assigned seat. Kevin was lost in valentines thoughts, so he jumps and his chair squeaks against the floor. Kevin doesn't understand why schools always have to have the squeakiest linoleum on their floors. Zac gives his shoulder a quick touch to soothe him and Kevin turns around to face him.
"Hey," Kevin says. He lays a hand down flat on Zac's desk. "I didn't know you were here."
"What are you doing this weekend?" Zac says. He taps his fingers on his desk and occasionally, some of them will tap against Kevin's hand. Kevin doesn't know how everyone doesn't know what they're doing. He turns in his chair more and it squeaks again. Kevin feels like the squeaking draws attention to them, but Zac doesn't stop touching his hand.
"I think going out with my family," Kevin says.
"Oh," Zac says.
"Why?" Kevin says, and then the bell rings.
"I'll talk to you later," Zac says. He gets up pretty fast instead of lingering until he gets yelled at to move like he usually does.
Kevin watches Zac go to his seat, but turns and faces the front of the class before Zac can see him watching. He looks at the date on the chalkboard. Oh, oh, this weekend. It's Valentine's Day this weekend. Zac asked him what he was doing for Valentine's Day, and Kevin didn't say he'd be doing something with Zac. He didn't realize that's what Zac was going for.
Kevin has never had a real valentine before. He feels overly giddy after he figures out that Zac asked him to do something on Valentine's Day. He can hardly stand to sit still for 10 more minutes until homeroom ends. He wants to turn around to tell Zac that he's not doing anything this weekend besides Zac, or whatever Zac wants to do, but he figures he should at least wait until he's not in a room full of his peers.
A chair squeaks somewhere behind Kevin and he turns around to glance at where the noise came from. Zac is leaning against his hand staring at the front of the class. He turns his eyes on Kevin when he notices movement and waves under his desk with his other hand.
Kevin waves back above his desk. Zac rolls his eyes like he's pained by Kevin's embarrassing gesture, but Kevin sees his smile before he puts his head down on his arm to hide his face.
~*~
Zac sits with Kevin and Nikki at lunch sometimes, or sometimes he'll sit with Vanessa and Ashley and Corbin and not invite Kevin along. "I don't even like them that much," Zac always says. "They're too wholesome." If they're too wholesome, Kevin doesn't want to know what he is.
Other times, Zac will get Kevin to go outside and eat lunch with him. They're not really supposed to, but whenever Mrs. Cock catches them, she just looks at them like she wishes they were anywhere but at her school and then leaves them be.
Zac tosses his apple back and forth in his hands on their way to the door that leads outside. That's pretty much how Zac always gets Kevin to eat lunch outside with him. Zac only ever eats an apple for lunch, and watching him eat it is usually the highlight of Kevin's day. Zac practically asked Kevin to be his valentine today, though, so that's probably the highlight of Kevin's day on this day.
When they get to the door, Zac leans his back against it to open it. He steps back to open it wider for Kevin to walk out before him. They find a spot on the cement that's not wet with melting snow to sit down.
"What are you doing this weekend?" Kevin says. He rips a piece off his sandwich and puts it into his mouth. He can't bring himself to bite directly off a sandwich in front of Zac without feeling majorly self conscious yet, but he thinks he can get to that point eventually.
"I thought you were hanging out with your family," Zac says. He rubs his apple against his shirt and then looks at it critically so he's not looking at Kevin. After a minute he reaches over and rubs the apple against Kevin's shirt, on his collarbone. "Your shirt has more texture than mine."
Kevin puts his hand over Zac's on his apple lifts it to his mouth so he can breathe on it. He rubs it against his more textured shirt some more before he lets go of Zac's hand.
"They can hang out without me," Kevin says. "You should come over."
Zac takes a bite out of his apple. It's still highlighting Kevin's day. It's like the valentine thing was a neon yellow highlighter, and the apple thing is one of those regular yellow highlighters. "Okay," Zac says with his mouth full.
~*~
Kevin can't lie to his mom. It's not that she doesn't believe lies; it's that Kevin feels so awful lying to her that he can't live with himself when he does it. It feels like there's termites of lies eating away at his internal organs whenever he tries to do it. He's okay with withholding information, but giving her false information is too much. He tells her he won't be going out for family Valentine's Day dinner and funtivities with them because he's going to be hanging out with someone. That's as specific as he gets, and he waits until they're about to leave to say something.
"Oh goodness, well," Kevin's mom says. She puts her coat on, then her earrings, then she gets Frankie in his coat and shoos Joe, Nick, and their dad out the door. She looks at Kevin like she thinks he's not old enough for this, but then she kisses him on the cheek and walks out the door. "Have a nice time."
"You too," Kevin says. He watches the van pull out of the driveway and then bolts to the kitchen. He figures he has a good eight hours before they get back, because they're going into the city. He's sad to miss a trip to the city, but he'd be sadder to miss Zac. He has Valentine's Day funtivities of his own planned.
Kevin's never seen Zac eat anything other than apples and a few bites of Kevin's sandwiches at lunch. Some of those were turkey or some other meat, though, so Kevin knows he's not a vegetarian. Kevin's also never prepared an elaborate meal all by himself before. He's helped his grandma on Thanksgiving, but that's the biggest thing he's done. He washes his hands and gets to work.
He leaves his purity ring off by the sink.
~*~
A couple hours later, Zac shows up. He's got on a wrinkled pale blue button-down shirt, not tucked in, and a suit jacket, and his hair looks like he's been outside in the wind or in front of a fan for several minutes. He looks good.
"Wow, you're all snazzy," Kevin says. He opens the door wide enough for Zac to be able to just barely slide in, so he has to brush against Kevin. Zac takes his shoes off by the door.
"This is just how I look," Zac says. He laughs nervously after and puts a hands through his hair, and it makes him look and sound like a psycho.
"Can I hold your hand right now?" Kevin says. Zac nods, so Kevin holds his hand. "I made something for you."
"What is it?" Zac says. Kevin's hand in his seems to have calmed him down so he's not psychotically nervous for reasons Kevin completely understands but doesn't know how to talk about. He made Zac dinner on Valentine's Day, and it's like, they're valentines. It's like, they're dating.
"A steak dinner," Kevin says, all suave.
Zac laughs like Kevin acting all suave is a joke. A steak dinner, he has heard, is one of the classiest things you can get for another person. He takes Zac into the dining room where dinner is all set up. He didn't want to burn any candles, because his mom would probably notice they were shorter than before, and plus that just seemed like too much. There's a dimmer switch, though, and Kevin put it on pretty low. There are just plates and glasses and steaks and a salad and other ordinary dinner things on the table.
"Oh, you really did," Zac says. He sounds genuinely impressed, and it makes Kevin want to pull his chair out for him, but he feels that would also be too much. He instead waves a hand at a chair that Zac is free to sit in.
They sit down to eat their steak dinner together. There's no way for Kevin to make eating a steak seem like a delicate process, so he just cuts it into pieces slowly and watches Zac eat. Zac has socks on, and Kevin doesn't, so it feels cozy whenever Zac's foot touches Kevin's.
"Do you have any Worcestershire sauce?" Zac says.
"I don't think so," Kevin says. "We might have some A1. I thought you didn't like sauces."
"I don't," Zac says. "I was just asking. This is really great."
Kevin ducks his head and smiles. Zac is nearly finished eating, but Kevin has barely finished cutting his food into bite sized pieces. His knife squeaks against his plate.
"You should just use your hands," Zac says. He picks up his own steak with his hands. It's mostly just bone left, but he gnaws at it. "I don't mind."
"I know," Kevin says. Oh, man, seeing Zac gnaw on that bone should gross him out. He's seen his grandma do that, with her teeth out, and it gave him bad feelings he thought for forever. Nobody wants to watch someone gum at a meat bone. Zac doing it is pretty great, though, especially since he has all his teeth.
When they finish, Zac takes off his jacket and hangs it on the back of his chair. He helps Kevin take their dishes into the kitchen.
"Do you want to watch a movie or something?" Kevin says. He sits in the corner of the couch and Zac sits directly next to him so they're on the same cushion.
"Sure," Zac says. Kevin puts his arm on the back of the couch behind Zac's head and Zac leans into Kevin's side. "What's on TNT?"
Kevin turns the TV on. "Cellular?"
"What's on TBS?"
"You've Got Mail. Which would you rather watch?" Kevin says. He's never seen either movie, but he liked Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump.
Zac tilts his head up to look right at him. "You've Got Mail."
Kevin puts his arm around Zac's shoulders and pulls him closer so he can kiss him on the lips. They watch the movie almost all the way through until Zac looks right at Kevin again and Kevin has to pull him closer and closer to kiss him on the lips again and again.
Eventually Zac gets on top of Kevin, and one of Zac's knees ends between the arm of the couch and the couch cushion and the other is between Kevin's thighs while they kiss.
"Happy Valentine's Day," Zac says against one of Kevin's sideburns when he pulls away from Kevin's mouth to breathe.
"Ditto," Kevin says. "Oh, that reminds me."
"What is it?" Zac says. He tugs at Kevin's curls and tries to kiss him some more, but Kevin holds him off for a minute.
"I have something for you," Kevin says. He takes his hand off Zac's hip to dig around in his pocket. He comes up with a folded valentine card, only slightly damaged from being in his pocket. He even used one of the stickers that comes in the boxes to hold it closed. Zac puts his hand under Kevin's shirt and Kevin sucks his gut in and gives him the valentine to open to try to distract Zac's touches. Zac takes it with only one hand and keeps the other resting on Kevin's belly.
Zac opens the valentine card using his thumb to break the sticker. "To Zac, from Kevin," he reads. "You're made of sugar, and spice, and everything nice."
Kevin's cheeks feel so hot he could cook another steak on them, but he at least feels like he's accomplished something socially. He gave his valentine a valentine.
"Thanks," Zac says. He gently shoves the card into his own pocket to keep, and then he gets back to the touching and kissing.
~*~THE END~*~
hongkongaton (12:31:08 PM): THAT SONG SOUNDS LIKE GARBAGE LMAO
hongkongaton (12:31:14 PM): PERFECT
hongkongaton (12:31:15 PM): 4
hongkongaton (12:31:16 PM): KEVRON