so lately i've been thinking of your smile
i just don't know what to think anymore.
about love. about trust.
i feel like i can't completly trust anyone. and i know it's because joe lawlor screwed me over.
yet, we're cool again. ::SIGH:SIGH:SIGH::
and i have a bunch of guys that are options. but i've got my heart in this like..cage. i won't allow any of them to see the whole thing. and it's ruining everything...
i don't allow myself to get close to them. and i am this open person until feelings start happening. then i clam up. what is wrong with me??? it pisses them off to no end too!
...but maybe it's because none of them get me like he does...
he knows EVERYTHING about me, emotionally physically mentally. he knows my thought process. he knows my style. always knows when i'm pissed, with the first word of hello. the second he picks up the phone or looks into my face, he knows how i'm feeling, and usually can figure out why. even if he had no clue.
so why do we fight like it's our job??? we fight...then we makeup, and it's amazing. but i keep getting hurt. cuz the first hurt made me so vulnerable to him. no other guy knows how to hurt me. i don't show them how. he's the only one who knows how. he also knows how to make my anger and pain disolve. or make it worse.
so what the hell????? it's like we're meant to be...the curse, yet the only cure.
other guys are awesome, and i like them alot. but the feelings not the same. even after everything he makes my heart race and can play my emotions. he can do ANYTHING to me.
isn't there any other guys out there who can break through? cuz joey, as mature as he is mentally, he has alot of growing up to do with love. he can't handle it, and so clearly we're getting no where fast. which is shitty. shitty shitt.
he wants it...he won't allow himself to have it. and i won't allow myself to have it with anyone else, as hard as i try.
with all these new guys...i can't deal with all the bullshit games. i need someone who i KNOW likes me, who knows they want me. that don't just wanna have me, they want ME*. i need to be swept off my feet. i'm beyond all the crap.
((I've finally realized, that you are my true love And I had a lot of time to think, and you're all seem to keep thinking, To keep thinkin of, yeahhh And now I know I need you each and every day I can't live without you, so don't run away Baby you say that you love me, so why'd you leave me, why???))
about love. about trust.
i feel like i can't completly trust anyone. and i know it's because joe lawlor screwed me over.
yet, we're cool again. ::SIGH:SIGH:SIGH::
and i have a bunch of guys that are options. but i've got my heart in this like..cage. i won't allow any of them to see the whole thing. and it's ruining everything...
i don't allow myself to get close to them. and i am this open person until feelings start happening. then i clam up. what is wrong with me??? it pisses them off to no end too!
...but maybe it's because none of them get me like he does...
he knows EVERYTHING about me, emotionally physically mentally. he knows my thought process. he knows my style. always knows when i'm pissed, with the first word of hello. the second he picks up the phone or looks into my face, he knows how i'm feeling, and usually can figure out why. even if he had no clue.
so why do we fight like it's our job??? we fight...then we makeup, and it's amazing. but i keep getting hurt. cuz the first hurt made me so vulnerable to him. no other guy knows how to hurt me. i don't show them how. he's the only one who knows how. he also knows how to make my anger and pain disolve. or make it worse.
so what the hell????? it's like we're meant to be...the curse, yet the only cure.
other guys are awesome, and i like them alot. but the feelings not the same. even after everything he makes my heart race and can play my emotions. he can do ANYTHING to me.
isn't there any other guys out there who can break through? cuz joey, as mature as he is mentally, he has alot of growing up to do with love. he can't handle it, and so clearly we're getting no where fast. which is shitty. shitty shitt.
he wants it...he won't allow himself to have it. and i won't allow myself to have it with anyone else, as hard as i try.
with all these new guys...i can't deal with all the bullshit games. i need someone who i KNOW likes me, who knows they want me. that don't just wanna have me, they want ME*. i need to be swept off my feet. i'm beyond all the crap.
((I've finally realized, that you are my true love And I had a lot of time to think, and you're all seem to keep thinking, To keep thinkin of, yeahhh And now I know I need you each and every day I can't live without you, so don't run away Baby you say that you love me, so why'd you leave me, why???))