On Vox: Oh, just doing the dishes.
The Ugly Truth - Trailer
Ever since I was a little girl, I've been in love with fairy tales. The thought of finding my modern prince charming and living happily ever after never leaves my mind. I'm a sucker for romance, as most girls are. And I cannot wait to be married to the man of my dreams. In the meantime, I live vicariously through women in romance books and romance movies. And no matter how predictable romantic comedies are, they never get old. Because just like fairy tales: she always gets the prince at the end of the movie.
But I'm also scared of being too critical. I'm a perfectionist and sometimes I can't go with the flow or do something without thinking the worst. My pessimistic attitude comes out when it's not needed. I remember in the 5th grade, my friend James asked me to be his girlfriend. I was leaving in one month to Japan, and I remember thinking What if we break up in a month, I'll be completely devastated. And of course we'll break up because I won't be here in a month. Instead of living in the moment, I said no. Then James went and asked my friend Anna to be his girlfriend not even an hour later during recess. But, that's besides the point.
I'm the kind of girl who falls for a guy who doesn't feel the same way back. I'm the kind of girl who falls for the quarterback and he doesn't even know I exist. I'm the kind of girl who gets the guy I don't want. I'm the kind of girl who gets the guy but doesn't want commitment. I'm the kind of girl who can't keep a guy as a friend even after.... after.
These romance movies fill my head with qualifications I seek in a guy. The perfect guy. But just like us girls who falter at the perfect body men ogle after, the perfect guy in fairy tales and romance stories does not exist. And my moments of feeling needy and lonely is just... pathetic.
Fortunately, I think I know who he might be. But like my fifth-grade-self, I'm still scared. And my mouth remains shut.
utensils
stuff... Yesterday's art.
More today.
I'm addicted to colored pencils... foreverrrrrr.
xo.
Originally posted on dearbarbz.vox.com