(no subject)

[heyabi]

i'm sitting in court cases right now, and i'm reflecting about how this year has ended up. My life isn't messy, yet sometimes messy is good. I'm still a klutz, I still say weird things, I care for people, and that is all for now. I spilled hot tea on my new shorts this morning. I felt that it was a sign. A sign to wake up, stop this slump, get messy. The symbolism couldn't be clearer, yet how to get messy. i use to think messy was good, but what i really need now is a median. I need to stop falling into bad habits. I've been talking to jonathan, and for right now it is fine. Is it okay? I guess I'll never know. I didn't love him, but for some reason, i'm attached. I wish I wasn't. I have a whole summer to sever old ties, make new ones, and get messy.

I never imagined that my junior year would have played out the way it did. I use to be so self righteous, so anti things that were bad, but i have changed. I think it is for the better. I use to say the " shit happens" quote, yet i never really sat down to listen to it. You've just got to move on. This LJ entry is a huge tangent of thoughts, but my life is that. I love my life, however boring and simple it may be. I feel like I have done noteworthy things for people, and this year has been more about other people then myself, and for that I am complimented myself. For not beng so selfish, putting others before me. Perhaps I need to learn more of a median ,

i'm tired of typing...

byeee