*sigh*
I'm so unsure of myself anymore.
I'm so unsure of what I've done these past few months.
I know leaving Tampa was a good decision, the only thing I'm unsure of is what I'm doing now. I'm happy, I know that. But for some reason, (probably my own insecurities and hopefully nothing else) I can't stop worrying. I keep thinking that I'm becoming a burden, and that my novelty has worn off. Maybe it's true? I know the things that were said new years eve did not help these feelings at all. Yet, I don't even know if what I heard was what was said. He doesn't even know what happened, and I was so drunk I don't know if I even know what was said. I know what I took from it, and I'm scared to even bring it up to see if my assumptions and fears are right. The last time we discussed new years eve, he barely remembered it, and when I mentioned that it wasn't a good night, he had no idea why. I need to find out. I might be stressing out for no reason. Hopefully I am. But for some reason, maybe it's just the pessimist in me, I feel inadequate. I feel that I'm right, that he's regretting ever saying anything, and ruining the interesting relationship we had working so well. But then again, it is jake. He isn't exactly easy to read emotionally...
gah
I'm so emo...
I'm so unsure of what I've done these past few months.
I know leaving Tampa was a good decision, the only thing I'm unsure of is what I'm doing now. I'm happy, I know that. But for some reason, (probably my own insecurities and hopefully nothing else) I can't stop worrying. I keep thinking that I'm becoming a burden, and that my novelty has worn off. Maybe it's true? I know the things that were said new years eve did not help these feelings at all. Yet, I don't even know if what I heard was what was said. He doesn't even know what happened, and I was so drunk I don't know if I even know what was said. I know what I took from it, and I'm scared to even bring it up to see if my assumptions and fears are right. The last time we discussed new years eve, he barely remembered it, and when I mentioned that it wasn't a good night, he had no idea why. I need to find out. I might be stressing out for no reason. Hopefully I am. But for some reason, maybe it's just the pessimist in me, I feel inadequate. I feel that I'm right, that he's regretting ever saying anything, and ruining the interesting relationship we had working so well. But then again, it is jake. He isn't exactly easy to read emotionally...
gah
I'm so emo...