(no subject)
ahhya. i havent updated this sucker in about 3 years. so, i've decided relationships are fucking for fucking losers. boys are too hard. i'm becoming a full on lezbo. yupp. i mean damn , why can't things just be easy and go smooth for once. i never get a fucking break.. i dont even know what to say . i dont know how to act, what to do , what to think.
maybe im just overreacting. the thing is i think im tricking myself into thinking im overreacting. because its easier to pretend problems dont exist than to try and figure them out. but honestly im probably overreacting. right? im not even sure. maybe i'm just needy. but i doubt it. i think i'm pretty easy to figure out. i'm easy to handle, i'm like a john deer. i need someone to tell me they think im fucking beautiful every once in a while. yaa know. even if i dont look so hott. it's hard when your boyfriends been good to you since the begining. taking you places, buying you things, playing with your hair (you know you love it), rubbing your back and telling you how amazing he thinks you are. and then once you get past a certain point it all just stops. like it doesn't matter anymore. well motherfucker it does. when your in a relationship for so long you start to lose your self confidence when it comes to other people. your so comfortable infront of your man, it doesnt matter. and it makes you think .. do other guys still think im pretty? and when you start to think that way you pretty much screw yourself. it's so hard to break up with someone when you doubt yourself. especially when your deathly afraid of being alone.
i justt need to get crunkk and partyy : )
<33
btw - i'm not breaking up with mikee , soo, don't get ideas you silly skanks.
maybe im just overreacting. the thing is i think im tricking myself into thinking im overreacting. because its easier to pretend problems dont exist than to try and figure them out. but honestly im probably overreacting. right? im not even sure. maybe i'm just needy. but i doubt it. i think i'm pretty easy to figure out. i'm easy to handle, i'm like a john deer. i need someone to tell me they think im fucking beautiful every once in a while. yaa know. even if i dont look so hott. it's hard when your boyfriends been good to you since the begining. taking you places, buying you things, playing with your hair (you know you love it), rubbing your back and telling you how amazing he thinks you are. and then once you get past a certain point it all just stops. like it doesn't matter anymore. well motherfucker it does. when your in a relationship for so long you start to lose your self confidence when it comes to other people. your so comfortable infront of your man, it doesnt matter. and it makes you think .. do other guys still think im pretty? and when you start to think that way you pretty much screw yourself. it's so hard to break up with someone when you doubt yourself. especially when your deathly afraid of being alone.
i justt need to get crunkk and partyy : )
<33
btw - i'm not breaking up with mikee , soo, don't get ideas you silly skanks.