(no subject)
so this day.week.month has been bad. i've been feeling down latley, and it's being caused by a lot of thing's, but mostly 4
people
one i can't have.
i adored the crap out of this kid for like two years.
But he couldn't care less.
He's in love. He is blind.
It's all he thinks about.talks about.laughs about.dreams about.
And I'm just the friend with all the advice he won't take.
And I'm just the girl he thinks he can get away with lying too.
And I'm just the girl who's giving up.
one i can't have.
i love this kid x837647343.
&& i'd kill anyone who messed with him.
i am the girl he talks to.
i am the girl he ask's for advice.
i am the girl he ask's for favors.
he is far from perfect.
but i love his flaws.
but he can't know.
she can't know.
one i need closure with
well.
we've actually had closure.
but it left me more upset than before.
he is heartless.
he is unkind.
he is cruel & insensative.
i forgave,but i couldn't forget
& apparantly i was wrong,
even though he was the one
who choose to kiss my best friend.
one i can have & i want.
[BADLY]
but i refuse
i want him.
he want's me.
but i can't.
i cant.cant.cant.cant.
the past few months i've been in
constant struggle of
pulling him in & pushing him away.
but im stopping.
i can't like him.i can't lead him on.
because i know i'd never say yes.
&& he deserves someone like him.
&& i deserve someone like me.
&& we deserve to not mess up what we have.
&& we deserve to not get ourselves into a mess.
i can't lose his friendship.
i love him.but i can't.
so im just going to push him away now.
people
one i can't have.
i adored the crap out of this kid for like two years.
But he couldn't care less.
He's in love. He is blind.
It's all he thinks about.talks about.laughs about.dreams about.
And I'm just the friend with all the advice he won't take.
And I'm just the girl he thinks he can get away with lying too.
And I'm just the girl who's giving up.
one i can't have.
i love this kid x837647343.
&& i'd kill anyone who messed with him.
i am the girl he talks to.
i am the girl he ask's for advice.
i am the girl he ask's for favors.
he is far from perfect.
but i love his flaws.
but he can't know.
she can't know.
one i need closure with
well.
we've actually had closure.
but it left me more upset than before.
he is heartless.
he is unkind.
he is cruel & insensative.
i forgave,but i couldn't forget
& apparantly i was wrong,
even though he was the one
who choose to kiss my best friend.
one i can have & i want.
[BADLY]
but i refuse
i want him.
he want's me.
but i can't.
i cant.cant.cant.cant.
the past few months i've been in
constant struggle of
pulling him in & pushing him away.
but im stopping.
i can't like him.i can't lead him on.
because i know i'd never say yes.
&& he deserves someone like him.
&& i deserve someone like me.
&& we deserve to not mess up what we have.
&& we deserve to not get ourselves into a mess.
i can't lose his friendship.
i love him.but i can't.
so im just going to push him away now.