probably parabola
I feel like updating because it's been awhile.
It'll be raw because I'm caffienated and my fingers have less coordination and are twitchy and therefore cant really hit backspace because they are already onto the next letter.
So I am leaving in like 13 days. For the whole summer.
MAD
I've been studying straight up math since 6 30 like hardcore study sesh with my dad. Only with bathroom breaks. Ive been having crazy breakthroughs but also... thats a lot of math. 4 mafuckin hours. Thats like a school day. My exam is tomorrow at 1 so hopefully ill have time to study tomorrow morning..
usually i wouldnt care so much but I'm pretty sure if I fail the exam I fail the course and the worst punishment for failing something is having to repeat it the year after. You know, because obviously you couldnt have liked it all that much.
I'm really kinda melodramatic and trying not to think about leaving because im just getting to know someone andit would suck mad balls to just up and leave for two months. This is EXACTLY what Im doing. God Im such a fucking bitch. Im such a lame-o to have taken so long. He is not a lame-o even though he said he was lame for waiting too. But really its my damn fault. stupid indecisiveness. How come I'm a fucking aries and not a libra? They're the damn scales, for godsake. Whackassshit. I dont know whats going to happen. I want everything thats not camp to just pause itself untill i get back so i can just continue everything. I know stuff is going to happen while Im gone and Im just praying that stuff wont happen with him. It will though. Damnit. So bad. Just look at all the junk that happened when I went away for two WEEKS. Two months is gigantor. He says he still wants to do something after but will that be the case when it actually is after. What do I do for the 13 days? I'm such a snail about it all. Going all slow. like a snail. slow. snail. slow. snail. slooow snaaaiilll.
or an inchworm.
or a slug.
or a rock
or a dead bug
they're all pretty slow.
you know my math exam is totally symbolic of this sitch.
I am choosing now, the night before the exam to learn trigonometric identities. The worst time.
I'm also choosing 13 days before i leave for two months to learn how to date. Typical.
dumb dumb dumby
peace
out
peace
in
out
-MATHews Madstar Madderson Maddy M Mmmmm
Words of kindness always welcome.