(no subject)
Title: Heaven's Candy Man
Author: hey_mister_dj
Rating: PG 13
Pairings: Implied Sam/Gabriel and Dean/Gabriel (one sided)
Spoilers: Just know who Gabriel is and you're fine.
Warnings: Umm... porn stars? Fanboy!Dean? (are those even warnings? xD)
Word Count: ~800
Summary: Dean didn't have a *crush*, he just admired the man's work.
The first time the Winchester brothers met The Trickster he was under the guise of a university janitor. So Dean brushed his thoughts off as his mind playing tricks on him after one too many fights with Sammy. Because there was no way this janitor was him.
If you were to ask Sam about Dean he’d tell you a lot of other bits of information first, but eventually he’d get to “Dean’s completely un-masculine, homosexual man-crush on Dr. Sexy”. And if Dean wasn’t too busy lying to himself he would have conceded that yes, it was possible that he felt a little more than the average man really should for the soap opera star. But the janitor problem wasn’t about Dr. Sexy. It pertained to Dean’s other gigantic man-crush that even Sam didn’t know about.
Dean nearly worshipped a male porn star.
Of course, it was all about the way the guy was when he was with the ladies. And no, Dean didn’t need to be told that this certain porn star had only ever been in three “straight” porn films and over a dozen gay ones. Because Dean was fully aware of this fact. He owned all nineteen videos featuring this particular man. But he would only admit to owning three of them.
This specific male porn star was the main man in many of the Casa Erotica films and offshoots of said series. He was marked as “Heaven’s Candy Man” when the credits rolled after each film had played through.
But in the heat of the moment, they called him Gabriel.
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When they finally discovered his true identity as a Trickster, Dean almost felt pained that they had to kill this glorious man. And if he had been paying attention to anything other than his own thoughts and feelings he would have noticed that Sam had a puppy crush of sorts on Gabriel. But this was Dean in the face of the challenge of possibly having to kill his favorite porn star, of course he didn’t pay heed to anyone else’s reactions to the situation at hand.
Before they did anything drastic though, Dean needed to find out of the Trickster was really the man Dean had watched in many a porno. Just to make sure and have closure of sorts before he had to drive a wooden stake through the poor bastard’s heart. So Dean told Sam that he wanted to try to reason with the demi-god before they just attacked him. And though the younger Winchester was surprised by his choice, he didn’t oppose it. Sam was much too involved in his own daydreams about golden eyes and melted chocolate drizzled over bare skin to be bothered with such trivial matters as Dean having a change of heart.
The older hunter walked into the lecture hall /auditorium cautiously. Despite the chance that this man was the object of his embarrassing man-crush, he was still a Trickster and still very much a danger.
What met Dean’s eyes when he entered the room looked familiar. Like home. Or like Casa Erotica.
Two scantily clad girls lounging on a bed, center stage, cooing at Dean and begging him to join them. It took all of his will power not to take them up on their offer, but he was a man with a mission. He had to find Gabriel. Dean spotted the shorter man sitting in the middle of the rows and columns of identical seats, smiling around the candy bar in his mouth.
“Well, Dean-o. Looks like you found me!” he called from his chair, mouth full of chocolate.
“I dig your style man, I really do. But I just have one question.”
“Ask away, kiddo.”
“Are you Heaven’s Candy Man?”
Gabriel’s smile turned into a shit eating grin right before Dean’s eyes.
“Oh, so you’ve seen my work?” The Trickster prodded, his grin sliding into a smirk.
“Only the vagina -centric ones,” Dean interjected quickly, in the gruff voice he used whenever his manhood was being challenged.
“Oh, of course. Wouldn’t dream that a manly man such as yourself watching coX coX coX,” he replied with a wink.
Dean nodded curtly, but quickly melted back into full fanboy mode. “It’s just- I just- I’m such a huge fan of yours!” he blurted, face a light shade of pink at his own outburst.
“Great to hear, kid. But if I had to choose which of you two boys had the homoerotic crush on me, my bet would have been on little Sammykins,” the porn star said, smiling again.
Dean just furrowed his brow at the statement, still caught up in the euphoria of meeting his favorite “adult entertainment” actor.
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After they staked the Trickster, both Dean and Sam were just a little bit less chipper. Bobby noticed, but didn’t care.
“At least you idjits are quieter like this!”
And if both Winchesters had dreams featuring a certain golden eyed Trickster, neither of them would admit it was because of the crush they were still harboring.