Growing up
Lately, a lot of things have been "changing". I've been having this conversation with several people in the last couple weeks, so I feel the need to share.
I am now 21 years old. It feels kind of surreal. I still remember turning 16, 17, even 18 and thinking it was a true "turning point" in my life. But for some reason, at my last "big" coming of age birthday, I finally felt like nothing changed, except as the months passed, I realized that everything is different.
All the "married" couples have broken up. One of them was Daniel and his ex, another was one of my close friends from UCSD, and even Chris (my best friend from high school) and Ingrid. But at the same time, couples that are staying together are contemplating marriage, and even engagement. After feeling lost without Danielle for months, Daniel and I started dating and he told me he realized, "Danielle and I were compatible, but there was nothing special there. No spark. We just got along, and I thought that was fine." The same with my friend from UCSD. They were inseparable, contemplating marriage, moving in after graduation, all that jazz. And now that they are broken up, she is a total wreck, complete with a huge bar fight on her birthday.
But still, others are taking their relationship to the next level. A legitimate friend from my high school graduating class is engaged to a girl he met in the military. My cousin, whom I never thought would get married, just put a down payment down on a ring. Daniel's roommate talks about marriage with his long term girlfriend regularly.
As graduation approaches for many of my classmates (not me! Yay 5th year!), we are all looking for a little sanity. Me especially. I never thought I would consider a significant other in my future plans. After the series of breakups earlier this year, I realized I really needed to concentrate on my own happiness, and leave relationships to come and go.
But after Daniel met my parents, things got, well different. Besides boyfriends in novato, no guy has ever met my parents. They loved him, and for the first time in a long time, I wasn't worrying about school, how he felt about me, grad school, grades, losing weight, ect. After we got back, and relaxed in sd for a while, he started, well crying.
It was a pivotable moment for me, and him. Again, I went back to the worrying. "Shit! I thought, he didn't like my parents he's going to dump me! But no, he was, happy. After the Danielle break up, he NEVER thought he would find anyone else. But here I was, and I was just what he had always wanted. He sees us having potential: possibly staying together when he goes to grad school in Saudi Arabia next year. He's a big consideration in where I go for research this summer.
And it puts everything into perspective. I was devastated after Tyler and Jordan broke up with me even though we dated for 3 months. And now, Daniel has found someone new after being sad about his gf of almost 3 years.
So maybe this idea of "time" and growing up is all just relative. Yes, graduation is soon, my roommates from 1st year are leaving, I'm staying. I'm going for a phD, everyone else is going into the work force. Daniel is going to be overseas....Its all almost too much.
But maybe that's just life, things are changing, but the people I care about will always be there. Relationships, friendships, everything changes, but there's no use worrying about it...And as I stand in the middle of a potentially serious relationship, a bitter breakup, changing friendships, and even family drama, I realize its all how you handle it..and for the first time in a long time, i'm just not worrying about it...
I am now 21 years old. It feels kind of surreal. I still remember turning 16, 17, even 18 and thinking it was a true "turning point" in my life. But for some reason, at my last "big" coming of age birthday, I finally felt like nothing changed, except as the months passed, I realized that everything is different.
All the "married" couples have broken up. One of them was Daniel and his ex, another was one of my close friends from UCSD, and even Chris (my best friend from high school) and Ingrid. But at the same time, couples that are staying together are contemplating marriage, and even engagement. After feeling lost without Danielle for months, Daniel and I started dating and he told me he realized, "Danielle and I were compatible, but there was nothing special there. No spark. We just got along, and I thought that was fine." The same with my friend from UCSD. They were inseparable, contemplating marriage, moving in after graduation, all that jazz. And now that they are broken up, she is a total wreck, complete with a huge bar fight on her birthday.
But still, others are taking their relationship to the next level. A legitimate friend from my high school graduating class is engaged to a girl he met in the military. My cousin, whom I never thought would get married, just put a down payment down on a ring. Daniel's roommate talks about marriage with his long term girlfriend regularly.
As graduation approaches for many of my classmates (not me! Yay 5th year!), we are all looking for a little sanity. Me especially. I never thought I would consider a significant other in my future plans. After the series of breakups earlier this year, I realized I really needed to concentrate on my own happiness, and leave relationships to come and go.
But after Daniel met my parents, things got, well different. Besides boyfriends in novato, no guy has ever met my parents. They loved him, and for the first time in a long time, I wasn't worrying about school, how he felt about me, grad school, grades, losing weight, ect. After we got back, and relaxed in sd for a while, he started, well crying.
It was a pivotable moment for me, and him. Again, I went back to the worrying. "Shit! I thought, he didn't like my parents he's going to dump me! But no, he was, happy. After the Danielle break up, he NEVER thought he would find anyone else. But here I was, and I was just what he had always wanted. He sees us having potential: possibly staying together when he goes to grad school in Saudi Arabia next year. He's a big consideration in where I go for research this summer.
And it puts everything into perspective. I was devastated after Tyler and Jordan broke up with me even though we dated for 3 months. And now, Daniel has found someone new after being sad about his gf of almost 3 years.
So maybe this idea of "time" and growing up is all just relative. Yes, graduation is soon, my roommates from 1st year are leaving, I'm staying. I'm going for a phD, everyone else is going into the work force. Daniel is going to be overseas....Its all almost too much.
But maybe that's just life, things are changing, but the people I care about will always be there. Relationships, friendships, everything changes, but there's no use worrying about it...And as I stand in the middle of a potentially serious relationship, a bitter breakup, changing friendships, and even family drama, I realize its all how you handle it..and for the first time in a long time, i'm just not worrying about it...