(no subject)
In 2012 I realized being connected to everything is an addiction I've been battling with. It's a source of anger for me and on the whole, social media and gossip "news" make me think the worst of people. In 2013, I'm unplugging myself and changing my outlook. I deactivated Facebook about a month ago, twitter is next, then maybe Instagram. I don't think this site counts, no one uses it and I need a place that's not a physical journal to sort out my thoughts.
I need to take better care of myself this year. I have to take advantage of the privileges I've afforded myself. I work to have health insurance, I should use it for primary prevention. I pay for a gym membership I haven't used since I started studying for CCRN, I have to get back into it. It's day #2 without smoking, the walls are caving in. I work in a respiratory ICU, I should've known better!
I need to stop putting things off. I've automated all my bill payments, no more forgetting. I waited until literally 3 days ago to get my heating fixed even though I could afford to fix it. My house was the same temperature as outside. My washer has been broken since the summer. I can afford a new one, yet in a few minutes I'm leaving for the laundromat with two weeks worth of laundry. By not making time, I'm WASTING time and money.
I need to go back to school. I don't feel bored or stagnant. It's just that at times I feel as if, in my present profession, I'm neither respected enough nor taken seriously enough. I'm tired of other people in my profession doing the minimum and giving the rest of us a bad rep. I hate being talked down to by patients, families, doctors. I'm tired of being swung at, bit at, spit at, kicked at. I want more autonomy in what I do, but I'm not sure if I want to leave nursing altogether. Tim says I should go to med school, and I can't say I haven't considered that. But I know we need knowledgable, critically thinking, capable nurses to advocate for patients and to further our profession. So I'm stuck, and I don't want this feeling to continue into 2014.
It's time to think about the rest of my life and where to draw the lines I need to draw.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.