(no subject)
Is it bad that I miss the weed, the cigarettes, the booze, the nightly car rides, the parties, and the days sitting around doing absolutely nothing with my life?
The days were I planned to go to the best party schools, go to bars all the time, hookup with whoever, and bake out whenever I wanted.
Being the good kid isn't fun. My 80's 90's and 100's aren't fulfilling. The hours I spend at track after school could be spent at a gym where I'm not yelled at for stupid shit. The people I decided to surround myself with are boring. Everyone's just nice.
Maybe it's not even that at all. Maybe I just want something new. I take it back, I don't miss all of that. I missed the thrill of not knowing what's about to happen.
I dunno, my letter for Temple is really going to send me down two really different paths. I'm either going to Japan and doing something I've always wanted to do and have a lot of fun doing it. That's when I'll enjoy being the straight A student, the guy who help everyone with their work and the guy who succeeds not because I'm successful but because I love what I'm doing.
On the other hand, a rejection is going to send me to Souther CT State University. I can party when I want and not have to lift a finger with school work and be good. I can enjoy drinking and focus on my social life. I can be the wild, obnoxious, person who lives to have fun. I'll be around people who use me just like I'm using them, but it's okay because we're both just finding our next thrill.
I dunno.
I hate waiting.
The days were I planned to go to the best party schools, go to bars all the time, hookup with whoever, and bake out whenever I wanted.
Being the good kid isn't fun. My 80's 90's and 100's aren't fulfilling. The hours I spend at track after school could be spent at a gym where I'm not yelled at for stupid shit. The people I decided to surround myself with are boring. Everyone's just nice.
Maybe it's not even that at all. Maybe I just want something new. I take it back, I don't miss all of that. I missed the thrill of not knowing what's about to happen.
I dunno, my letter for Temple is really going to send me down two really different paths. I'm either going to Japan and doing something I've always wanted to do and have a lot of fun doing it. That's when I'll enjoy being the straight A student, the guy who help everyone with their work and the guy who succeeds not because I'm successful but because I love what I'm doing.
On the other hand, a rejection is going to send me to Souther CT State University. I can party when I want and not have to lift a finger with school work and be good. I can enjoy drinking and focus on my social life. I can be the wild, obnoxious, person who lives to have fun. I'll be around people who use me just like I'm using them, but it's okay because we're both just finding our next thrill.
I dunno.
I hate waiting.