Shelter me oh genius words,just give me strength.
So, let me just start with saying that I feel like a complete and total idiot.
Once again I didn't watch my steps and ended up in a very familiar situation.
I never wanted this feeling to come back, but oh, it did.
A part of me is saying I'm overreacting a tad, but this pull on my stomach will not go away.
Who knew someone saying something so simple could ruin my whole week.
I don't know why i feel like this. go away. go away. go away.
Trusting people and them letting me down as become an all too reoccuring pattern.
Like, i said, this is more than likely me overreacting, but i'm hurt. I don't know how else to react. I would love to forget about the whole thing. Or better yet, gain the knowledge of why I am feeling so bummed out.
fuck. i'm tired of this.
I guess what scares me is that feeling of being rejected again. I'm not being overdramatic. Writing all this out helps me feel better. relieved.
It just always seems that as soon as I really start to get attached, I get pushed away. Every goddamn time.
When I'm standing on the sidelines carefully watching, things always tend to go smoothly, but that other person always wants something more from me.
So, I finally give it. all. Then it's like they are done with me.
Being is one-sided relationships is draining me.
I know the people who truly love me. Who i can trust. Why do I always search somewhere else for contentment?
To top everything off, i'm loosing a best friend. Or it feels that way.
Things are weird. Please change.
This weekend will be awesome. I know it will. I won't let this week change that.
Oh, Mr. Maddox talked about heaven and hell. Well, his version of the two. It made me realize how badly i want to believe in something. Truly believe. Anything.
I'm going to start working on that now.
And for Blair- GO TIGERS! : ]