(no subject)
i really feel like so much is missing. i feel like everything is going downhill, but it's going to get alot better. i hate downhills, i deal with them pretty badly. i always think about going to live back with my mother, but then i remember that cory is coming back. he always fucking comes back. i think maybe this is what's missing.. not having any of my real life parents around and not being able to see my parents enough to embrace the names mom and dad.
i really miss it.
i always take into consideration of where i am now. i can actually say to people 'well, look at me now!' because i really do feel like a new person. i have grown so much and the girls that i live with have helped me so much with everything that i am. i am always thankful.
im always anticipating events that come up but i'm always afraid they'll get cancelled or something goes wrong. i am really counting the days until adam comes back. i need to be surrounded by people right now. i am becoming very dependent on others.. is that bad?
lately i've been overwhelmed by beautiful people. my summer is going pretty well, i have been working and just seeing everyone. i like it alot, but i just keep thinking about once i get back to school, what's going to happen next? curfews change, plans change, work changes.
its really confusing though. i anticipate change most of the time, but perhaps only when it goes my way. thats pretty selfish.
i keep talking to friends from elementary school and it brings alot of happiness to my heart. i felt so good when melissa told me how great i have turned out, and shes really happy for me. i really hope i bring the same happiness to people as they do for me.
i guess im feeling a tad bit worthless right now. i feel like a bad person. i dont want to be a bad person.
i really miss it.
i always take into consideration of where i am now. i can actually say to people 'well, look at me now!' because i really do feel like a new person. i have grown so much and the girls that i live with have helped me so much with everything that i am. i am always thankful.
im always anticipating events that come up but i'm always afraid they'll get cancelled or something goes wrong. i am really counting the days until adam comes back. i need to be surrounded by people right now. i am becoming very dependent on others.. is that bad?
lately i've been overwhelmed by beautiful people. my summer is going pretty well, i have been working and just seeing everyone. i like it alot, but i just keep thinking about once i get back to school, what's going to happen next? curfews change, plans change, work changes.
its really confusing though. i anticipate change most of the time, but perhaps only when it goes my way. thats pretty selfish.
i keep talking to friends from elementary school and it brings alot of happiness to my heart. i felt so good when melissa told me how great i have turned out, and shes really happy for me. i really hope i bring the same happiness to people as they do for me.
i guess im feeling a tad bit worthless right now. i feel like a bad person. i dont want to be a bad person.