Re: [private]hex_you_upOctober 2 2007, 20:18:47 UTC
He's fine. It's just. aoi't4jwle This is so messed up.
Zuko's staying in my flat in London, right? And I told him on Friday I'd bring him the turtleducks to keep him company if he wanted me to. And yesterday he asked me to bring them over so I went over there and he found out I've still got the ring he was going to give me... and then he told me he was still in love with me. And he kissed me. And I couldn't keep that from Light so I went home and told him and. Light said. Something that scared me and now he won't even let me touch him and oh gods I don't know what to do.
Re: [private]hex_you_upOctober 2 2007, 20:35:53 UTC
No. I feel like I need to be close to him now, y'know? Even though he... he'll barely look at me.
He said. He said if it happened again, Zuko would die. He could do it, too, Light's got connections. And I didn't, no, it happened so fast I couldn't even stop him... But gods, it's like I picked up some kind of disease from him or something. He won't let me touch him, An.
Re: [private]bananas_anOctober 2 2007, 20:46:29 UTC
That's probably best. But if it gets to be too much, you can come over anytime--the hour doesn't matter.
Oh god. That's a million times worse than just beating each other up. Listen. It's not your fault. You didn't kiss Zuko; he kissed you. Light-san is feeling angry and hurt--which is totally unfair since you didn't do anything. But guys aren't fair. Maybe he's afraid of saying or doing something he'll regret if he let's you get too close right now.
That's my first reaction, to get close and try to fix things and show how much I care, and I've been told by a couple of guys that just about the time I want to do that, they need some distance.
How does he usually work out feelings? Is he the kind of guy who has to keep it all inside and turn it over and over before he can move on? Should...should I try to lure him out for a game or something and see if that lets him get rid of some of his tension?
Re: [private]hex_you_upOctober 2 2007, 20:52:53 UTC
Okay. Thank you.
Believe me, I know. They've been making death threats to one another for months now. And. I know it's not, really, but... he said he was still in love with me, An. How is that even possible? I know it's stupid but I keep wondering if somehow I didn't, y'know, encourage him or something. Give him false hope.
He has to think about everything in excruciating detail before he'll talk about it at all. And he won't say a word to me. You could try, but I kind of think he'd just tell you now's not a good time.
Re: [private]bananas_anOctober 2 2007, 21:13:38 UTC
I...you can't turn feelings on and off, Ginny. They fade and--I hope--eventually change into something else. Just...even though we've moved on, there's a part of me that still cares for Akaya. I don't think that will ever change.
I'm sure you didn't do anything. He shouldn't have kissed you no matter how he felt. Isn't he with someone now, too? I bet he's dealing with old feelings and is confused, too. It just...happened.
Sounds like a guy to me. I...lord, I can't believe I'm giving this advice. Maybe you should leave him to stew for a bit. It hasn't been that long. I know it's awful to wait.
I suggested to Akaya that he try. He'd give him a harder game. Sounds like he's headed over your way, anyway, so it's worth a try.
Re: [private]bananas_anOctober 2 2007, 21:31:00 UTC
I bet you were too shocked to do anything! I would have been. And I'd have done the exact same thing you did--gone straight to Akira and told him. Maybe...maybe finding the ring made Zuko feel nostalgic?
No. It was...it was selfish of him, Ginny. He put you in a horrible situation. Maybe he wasn't thinking and just acted, but he's adult enough to be able to restrain those urges. Or he should be.
*hugs* Oh, Ginny. You did not betray Light. What were you supposed to do? I bet you were too shocked to do anything at all except stand there. He'll work it through and then you guys can talk. You know him, if it goes beyond his normal think time then you may just have to sit down and start talking whether or not he wants to. But for now, give him his "space." Guys set such STUPID store by that.
^_^ He has a good shoulder. He may as well use it. Besides, it's good practice for him.
Re: [private]hex_you_upOctober 2 2007, 21:37:31 UTC
I. Yeah, basically. I didn't know what to do. I still don't except that I feel so angry at him because, god, I haven't even been married for two months and my husband's not speaking to me because my ex-boyfriend couldn't control his impulses.
You're probably right. It's just. The fact that I can't even touch him right now... that hurts so badly. I'm a physical person, I need to be close to him and he won't let me and I. I don't know how to handle that.
Re: [private]bananas_anOctober 2 2007, 21:49:00 UTC
I'd be pissed as hell in your shoes.
I'm just like you. I want to touch and hold and everything else. I still think Light-san realizes you didn't do anything wrong--I mean, hell, you told him what happened--but he's still angry enough at Zuko that he's afraid it'll bleed over onto you and knows that's unfair. Or maybe the jealous part of him thinks you should have hexed--that the right word?--Zuko in some way. And Light would know that's stupid, but he still might have wanted you to do it. So he's afraid he'll say something horrible that he can't take back.
I hope he gets over this soon and realizes you're hurting, too. *hugs*
Re: [private]hex_you_upOctober 2 2007, 21:55:55 UTC
I. God, I hope so. I think the thing with the ring is probably bothering him, too. But I didn't keep it for nostalgia's sake, or anything... I kept it to remind myself that I'd already fucked up one relationship, and not to do it again.
I really, really hope you're right. Because I don't know what I'm going to do if he stays like this for long.
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Zuko's staying in my flat in London, right? And I told him on Friday I'd bring him the turtleducks to keep him company if he wanted me to. And yesterday he asked me to bring them over so I went over there and he found out I've still got the ring he was going to give me... and then he told me he was still in love with me. And he kissed me. And I couldn't keep that from Light so I went home and told him and. Light said. Something that scared me and now he won't even let me touch him and oh gods I don't know what to do.
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What did Light say that scared you? I mean...Zuko kissed you, right? Did you kiss him back?
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He said. He said if it happened again, Zuko would die. He could do it, too, Light's got connections. And I didn't, no, it happened so fast I couldn't even stop him... But gods, it's like I picked up some kind of disease from him or something. He won't let me touch him, An.
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Oh god. That's a million times worse than just beating each other up. Listen. It's not your fault. You didn't kiss Zuko; he kissed you. Light-san is feeling angry and hurt--which is totally unfair since you didn't do anything. But guys aren't fair. Maybe he's afraid of saying or doing something he'll regret if he let's you get too close right now.
That's my first reaction, to get close and try to fix things and show how much I care, and I've been told by a couple of guys that just about the time I want to do that, they need some distance.
How does he usually work out feelings? Is he the kind of guy who has to keep it all inside and turn it over and over before he can move on? Should...should I try to lure him out for a game or something and see if that lets him get rid of some of his tension?
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Believe me, I know. They've been making death threats to one another for months now. And. I know it's not, really, but... he said he was still in love with me, An. How is that even possible? I know it's stupid but I keep wondering if somehow I didn't, y'know, encourage him or something. Give him false hope.
He has to think about everything in excruciating detail before he'll talk about it at all. And he won't say a word to me. You could try, but I kind of think he'd just tell you now's not a good time.
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I'm sure you didn't do anything. He shouldn't have kissed you no matter how he felt. Isn't he with someone now, too? I bet he's dealing with old feelings and is confused, too. It just...happened.
Sounds like a guy to me. I...lord, I can't believe I'm giving this advice. Maybe you should leave him to stew for a bit. It hasn't been that long. I know it's awful to wait.
I suggested to Akaya that he try. He'd give him a harder game. Sounds like he's headed over your way, anyway, so it's worth a try.
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...Is it bad that I blame him?
I... I suppose. I don't know what else I can do. It just hurts to see him feel so betrayed, and he won't even let me get close to him...
Yeah, he is. Watch, I'll end up losing it as soon as he gets here, I just know I will, and he won't have a damn clue what to do.
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No. It was...it was selfish of him, Ginny. He put you in a horrible situation. Maybe he wasn't thinking and just acted, but he's adult enough to be able to restrain those urges. Or he should be.
*hugs* Oh, Ginny. You did not betray Light. What were you supposed to do? I bet you were too shocked to do anything at all except stand there. He'll work it through and then you guys can talk. You know him, if it goes beyond his normal think time then you may just have to sit down and start talking whether or not he wants to. But for now, give him his "space." Guys set such STUPID store by that.
^_^ He has a good shoulder. He may as well use it. Besides, it's good practice for him.
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You're probably right. It's just. The fact that I can't even touch him right now... that hurts so badly. I'm a physical person, I need to be close to him and he won't let me and I. I don't know how to handle that.
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I'm just like you. I want to touch and hold and everything else. I still think Light-san realizes you didn't do anything wrong--I mean, hell, you told him what happened--but he's still angry enough at Zuko that he's afraid it'll bleed over onto you and knows that's unfair. Or maybe the jealous part of him thinks you should have hexed--that the right word?--Zuko in some way. And Light would know that's stupid, but he still might have wanted you to do it. So he's afraid he'll say something horrible that he can't take back.
I hope he gets over this soon and realizes you're hurting, too. *hugs*
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I really, really hope you're right. Because I don't know what I'm going to do if he stays like this for long.
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