(no subject)
i'm a bit out of the usual in my new years beliefs. i think everyone's new year starts on their birthday and the 12/31-1/1 stuff is complete nonsense. have you ever really studied our calendar? damn thing makes no sense! leap years?!?! did the irs design this thing?
anyway....it happens to be my new years two weeks before everyone elses, so it's never been terribly noticeable i'm out of sync with the rest of the population for new years.
=)
two people on my sparse friends list have already done this meme. i stole it, and filled in my own answers.
dear god this thing does not cutnpaste well into semagic. =( absolution, if i've left any of your answers in, i am so sorry.
01. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
got arrested by the racist jerks of the mpd.
02. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i dont think i made any. i usually don't. and if i did, i didn't keep them as i can't even remember. and i won't make any for this year, either. just not my cup of tea.
03. Did anyone close to you give birth?
thankfully, no. a few of my male friends had kids, but they didn't give birth. i've found i can't keep female friends once they start spawning. but to be fair, i've yet to have a female friend who spawned that had an education and/or career for herself BEFORE she started with the baby-having. so maybe, one day, i'll get a female friend who can be a mother and still have a self identity that isn't related a common biologicial function.
04. Did anyone close to you die?
no. i heard very much after the fact about a guy in nola who passed away and i was very upset about it, even tho i didn't know him that well. he was an amazing human being.
05. What countries did you visit?
none. unless west memphis counts as an entity separate from the rest of the us.
06. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
eh...more travel. but that isn't likely.
7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? jan 18, it is the night that as the mpd so eloquently put it "crazy white people. us black folks take care of our crazy".
08. What was your biggest achievement of the year? finding a way out of a three year on and off terrible relationship. i don't think my self esteem will ever fully recover, but slowly i feel myself awakening again. baby steps.
09. What was your biggest failure? not finding a better way out of an abusive relationship with a junkie. i think even bigger than not being able to deal with that myself is how many friendships i had to sacrafice to get out.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? only mental. =) actually i had a hell of a head cold in feb and then in the middle of the summer, a uti that moved to my kidneys. tmi, tmi.
11. What was the best thing you bought? a new car. not cause it's great, but because my old one was dying.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? eh, no one really. my current boyfriend has been wonderful to me. i have seriously considered have a dirtbag celebration, where all the little punks i know can come over and we can vent about all the people who tried to inflict their stupidity on our lives with their lame gossip.....like the girrly i know who decided to shit talk about my boyfriend before he and i had even moved into the dating arena...come to find out, he pulled a 'love her and gtfo" on her a few years back. seems she's still ticked she got treated like a piece of ass....what is with chicks that bang someone in a bar parking lot and then are all 'WAAAAH! WHY DOESN'T HE LIKE ME? WHY DOESN'T HE WANT TO PROPOSE TO ME??? WHY IS HE TREATING ME LIKE I'M A DUMB BAR SLUT WHO BANGS DUDES IN THE PARKING LOT???" um.....yeah....is this one of those reDUMBdent questions or do you want me to answer?
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? i'm not answering this. too personal. and too likely to incite drama and gossip. i live in one giant highschool cafeteria.
14. Where did most of your money go? legal expenses and the insanely high utlities at my former apartment.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? nothing...the moments this year that were awesome were unplanned and even accidental. and there weren't any shows i was particularly excited about. either my music taste has gone totally underground, or the show bookers/promoters in memphis aren't interested in my demographic...or the bands i love won't come to memphis cause they don't want to play to a crowd of two.
16. What song will always remind you of 2009? BURN THEM PRISONS DOWN..... and....Herion or Suicide.
17. Compared to this time last year, you are:
Hotter of colder? what? well this time last year i was dealing with my first winter in a place with no heat and $400 mlgw bills. so hotter.
Fatter or thinner? fatter. karma for snide remarks. =)
More active or lazier? eh...that is hard to say. lazier about my social life, more active in the sense of taking care of my shit.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? sleep.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? being my mother's slave to get the old house on the market.
20. How will you be spending/did you spend Christmas? same way i've been doing for a while...go out to my parents, eat steak and potatoes, watch horror movies with my family.
22. Did you fall in love in 2009? no. but i finally started to understand about loving someone but not wanting to be anywhere near them. and i started to understand something about myself...i'm not sure i'm capable of love for other humans.
23. How many one-night stands? oddly, none. not even a "omg i'm not ever going to admit to that" one. before i stated dating L, it'd been months since i'd gotten any (dude. don't sleep with junkies. even if you love them. needle sharing is gross.) so i wouldn't have been surprised if L had worked out that way...by the time he showed up, i was starved!!!! crass, but true.
24. What was your favorite TV program? true blood. law n order suv. in the past week i've been digging the disabled top model show on the bbc america channel, but i have the feeling i'm laughing when it isn't supposed to be funny.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? hate is a really strong word. i hate racists, sexists, pedophiles, closed minded fundies, etc etc..but i hate the groups politics not the individuals.
that said, there are several people i'd not shed any tears for if they accidently fell into an industrial strength meat grinder that was shut off just short of finishing them off so that they were still alive, but so horribly difigured and in such agonizing daily pain that they pray to their god daily to end their life even if their soul will burn in hell eternal.
but really, hate is such a strong word.
26. What was the best book you read? the count of monte cristo.
what? so what if i read it every year at least twice?
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
the gallows
28. What did you want and get?
huh? well i needed a new car. i got one. i needed a place to live without surprise landlord/falling in walls and ceilings/crappy energy bills/non working stove. and i got it. i wanted a new cat, and i got him. i wanted my legal stuff to go away..after some $$$ and time, it did.
29. What did you want and not get? i didn't win 20 million dollars in a lottery. (oh, and that is 20 mil after tax, k?) i didn't travel at all. i'd hoped to work out my relationship with my bestest female friend, but instead the relationship completely disengrated.
30. What was your favorite film of this year? no idea if it was made this year, but THE HEART IS DECEITFUL ABOVE ALL THINGS stands out.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? i was thirty. it was friday. i cleaned my house all day, went to the melting pot, had friends over for drinking afterwards.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Lucky. and my cats.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009? lol. i just started wearing make up again. so i guess my concept was street person? wtf?
34. What kept you sane? oh therapy can you please fill the void. am i retarded or am i just over joyed?
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? eh. not so much into celeb watching. and i some how lost all of the little teenie crushes i was carrying around on random mainstream musicians.
>35. What was your favorite video game of the year? i <3 lego starwars on wii
36. Who has made the most cameos in your dreams this year? my ex. =(
>37. Who did you miss? my former best friend that lives here. my other closest friend lives in texas. mostly, i missed myself. i am not the same person i was at the beginning of the year. the only positive change has been the no drinking. the rest of the changes haven't been so great. i miss having self confidence. i miss not feeling like anything i do might become gossip fodder for bored people.
38. Who was the best new person you met? i'd say Lucky, except he and i already knew each other just not very well. so...Aries.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009: don't ever call the police if someone is beating you. EVER. they will either let that person go a block away from your house, arrest you, or tell you they can't take pictures of your bleeding face because they don't know how to use their camera. DON'T EVER CALL THE MPD.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
you can has whole song.
You wouldn't know me when depression kicks in, when the panic's attacking and I miss medicine
When my neck can't hold up my head and I just can't get out of bed
When you see me (see me) uncomfortably chain smoking, trying to force up a smile
Then I'm slippin' (slippin' slippin') again
And I don't wanna drag no one down with my problem
That's in my head
I'll probably snap out but I just don't know when
Yeeeaah
Apologies from me
This is nothing that I want you to see
Trying to drown out that ringing voice
Mike, give it up, give it up
Like a pick in a hollow body
Give it up, give it up, give it up down
Into the sea, tentacles got me by the neck and they're pulling me down
I try to keep in check
Stay on top, teeter tot won't balance I guess
Every time I get one under control the rest start rising and then
I stay shut up in my home
Agoraphobic and alone
'Til with bit lip, I gotta try
Hands clenching, sweating,
Don't want no one to see in my mind
It's not a pretty sight
The right half don't work and the screws aren't tight
Yeeeaah
Apologies from me
This is nothing that I want you to see
Trying to drown out that ringing voice
Mike, give it up, give it up
Like a pick in a hollow body
Give it up, give it up, give it up down
Into the sea, tentacles got me by the neck and they're pulling me down
anyway....it happens to be my new years two weeks before everyone elses, so it's never been terribly noticeable i'm out of sync with the rest of the population for new years.
=)
two people on my sparse friends list have already done this meme. i stole it, and filled in my own answers.
dear god this thing does not cutnpaste well into semagic. =( absolution, if i've left any of your answers in, i am so sorry.
01. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
got arrested by the racist jerks of the mpd.
02. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i dont think i made any. i usually don't. and if i did, i didn't keep them as i can't even remember. and i won't make any for this year, either. just not my cup of tea.
03. Did anyone close to you give birth?
thankfully, no. a few of my male friends had kids, but they didn't give birth. i've found i can't keep female friends once they start spawning. but to be fair, i've yet to have a female friend who spawned that had an education and/or career for herself BEFORE she started with the baby-having. so maybe, one day, i'll get a female friend who can be a mother and still have a self identity that isn't related a common biologicial function.
04. Did anyone close to you die?
no. i heard very much after the fact about a guy in nola who passed away and i was very upset about it, even tho i didn't know him that well. he was an amazing human being.
05. What countries did you visit?
none. unless west memphis counts as an entity separate from the rest of the us.
06. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
eh...more travel. but that isn't likely.
7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? jan 18, it is the night that as the mpd so eloquently put it "crazy white people. us black folks take care of our crazy".
08. What was your biggest achievement of the year? finding a way out of a three year on and off terrible relationship. i don't think my self esteem will ever fully recover, but slowly i feel myself awakening again. baby steps.
09. What was your biggest failure? not finding a better way out of an abusive relationship with a junkie. i think even bigger than not being able to deal with that myself is how many friendships i had to sacrafice to get out.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? only mental. =) actually i had a hell of a head cold in feb and then in the middle of the summer, a uti that moved to my kidneys. tmi, tmi.
11. What was the best thing you bought? a new car. not cause it's great, but because my old one was dying.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? eh, no one really. my current boyfriend has been wonderful to me. i have seriously considered have a dirtbag celebration, where all the little punks i know can come over and we can vent about all the people who tried to inflict their stupidity on our lives with their lame gossip.....like the girrly i know who decided to shit talk about my boyfriend before he and i had even moved into the dating arena...come to find out, he pulled a 'love her and gtfo" on her a few years back. seems she's still ticked she got treated like a piece of ass....what is with chicks that bang someone in a bar parking lot and then are all 'WAAAAH! WHY DOESN'T HE LIKE ME? WHY DOESN'T HE WANT TO PROPOSE TO ME??? WHY IS HE TREATING ME LIKE I'M A DUMB BAR SLUT WHO BANGS DUDES IN THE PARKING LOT???" um.....yeah....is this one of those reDUMBdent questions or do you want me to answer?
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? i'm not answering this. too personal. and too likely to incite drama and gossip. i live in one giant highschool cafeteria.
14. Where did most of your money go? legal expenses and the insanely high utlities at my former apartment.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? nothing...the moments this year that were awesome were unplanned and even accidental. and there weren't any shows i was particularly excited about. either my music taste has gone totally underground, or the show bookers/promoters in memphis aren't interested in my demographic...or the bands i love won't come to memphis cause they don't want to play to a crowd of two.
16. What song will always remind you of 2009? BURN THEM PRISONS DOWN..... and....Herion or Suicide.
17. Compared to this time last year, you are:
Hotter of colder? what? well this time last year i was dealing with my first winter in a place with no heat and $400 mlgw bills. so hotter.
Fatter or thinner? fatter. karma for snide remarks. =)
More active or lazier? eh...that is hard to say. lazier about my social life, more active in the sense of taking care of my shit.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? sleep.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? being my mother's slave to get the old house on the market.
20. How will you be spending/did you spend Christmas? same way i've been doing for a while...go out to my parents, eat steak and potatoes, watch horror movies with my family.
22. Did you fall in love in 2009? no. but i finally started to understand about loving someone but not wanting to be anywhere near them. and i started to understand something about myself...i'm not sure i'm capable of love for other humans.
23. How many one-night stands? oddly, none. not even a "omg i'm not ever going to admit to that" one. before i stated dating L, it'd been months since i'd gotten any (dude. don't sleep with junkies. even if you love them. needle sharing is gross.) so i wouldn't have been surprised if L had worked out that way...by the time he showed up, i was starved!!!! crass, but true.
24. What was your favorite TV program? true blood. law n order suv. in the past week i've been digging the disabled top model show on the bbc america channel, but i have the feeling i'm laughing when it isn't supposed to be funny.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? hate is a really strong word. i hate racists, sexists, pedophiles, closed minded fundies, etc etc..but i hate the groups politics not the individuals.
that said, there are several people i'd not shed any tears for if they accidently fell into an industrial strength meat grinder that was shut off just short of finishing them off so that they were still alive, but so horribly difigured and in such agonizing daily pain that they pray to their god daily to end their life even if their soul will burn in hell eternal.
but really, hate is such a strong word.
26. What was the best book you read? the count of monte cristo.
what? so what if i read it every year at least twice?
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
the gallows
28. What did you want and get?
huh? well i needed a new car. i got one. i needed a place to live without surprise landlord/falling in walls and ceilings/crappy energy bills/non working stove. and i got it. i wanted a new cat, and i got him. i wanted my legal stuff to go away..after some $$$ and time, it did.
29. What did you want and not get? i didn't win 20 million dollars in a lottery. (oh, and that is 20 mil after tax, k?) i didn't travel at all. i'd hoped to work out my relationship with my bestest female friend, but instead the relationship completely disengrated.
30. What was your favorite film of this year? no idea if it was made this year, but THE HEART IS DECEITFUL ABOVE ALL THINGS stands out.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? i was thirty. it was friday. i cleaned my house all day, went to the melting pot, had friends over for drinking afterwards.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Lucky. and my cats.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009? lol. i just started wearing make up again. so i guess my concept was street person? wtf?
34. What kept you sane? oh therapy can you please fill the void. am i retarded or am i just over joyed?
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? eh. not so much into celeb watching. and i some how lost all of the little teenie crushes i was carrying around on random mainstream musicians.
>35. What was your favorite video game of the year? i <3 lego starwars on wii
36. Who has made the most cameos in your dreams this year? my ex. =(
>37. Who did you miss? my former best friend that lives here. my other closest friend lives in texas. mostly, i missed myself. i am not the same person i was at the beginning of the year. the only positive change has been the no drinking. the rest of the changes haven't been so great. i miss having self confidence. i miss not feeling like anything i do might become gossip fodder for bored people.
38. Who was the best new person you met? i'd say Lucky, except he and i already knew each other just not very well. so...Aries.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009: don't ever call the police if someone is beating you. EVER. they will either let that person go a block away from your house, arrest you, or tell you they can't take pictures of your bleeding face because they don't know how to use their camera. DON'T EVER CALL THE MPD.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
you can has whole song.
You wouldn't know me when depression kicks in, when the panic's attacking and I miss medicine
When my neck can't hold up my head and I just can't get out of bed
When you see me (see me) uncomfortably chain smoking, trying to force up a smile
Then I'm slippin' (slippin' slippin') again
And I don't wanna drag no one down with my problem
That's in my head
I'll probably snap out but I just don't know when
Yeeeaah
Apologies from me
This is nothing that I want you to see
Trying to drown out that ringing voice
Mike, give it up, give it up
Like a pick in a hollow body
Give it up, give it up, give it up down
Into the sea, tentacles got me by the neck and they're pulling me down
I try to keep in check
Stay on top, teeter tot won't balance I guess
Every time I get one under control the rest start rising and then
I stay shut up in my home
Agoraphobic and alone
'Til with bit lip, I gotta try
Hands clenching, sweating,
Don't want no one to see in my mind
It's not a pretty sight
The right half don't work and the screws aren't tight
Yeeeaah
Apologies from me
This is nothing that I want you to see
Trying to drown out that ringing voice
Mike, give it up, give it up
Like a pick in a hollow body
Give it up, give it up, give it up down
Into the sea, tentacles got me by the neck and they're pulling me down