Message in the Music 2/?
Title: Message In the Music 2/?
Author: Hevyyd
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Spoilers: none
Themes: AU, Fallen!Cas, Mute!Dean, Not-a-Hunter!Dean
Word Count: 2,773
Summary: Dean has always been able to hear things no one else can, but his gift has cost him the life his father wanted for him, making him a disappointment to his family legacy. Forced to live a domestic life while his younger brother and father save lives and claim all the glory, Dean's life is soon changed when an angel falls from Heaven.
In some ways, I'm scared of my big brother.
Dean has a way of staring at you, like he's looking straight into your soul, it's creepy, it's unnerving. I know that I shouldn't think poorly of him because he's mute, but why does he have to act that way? It's like he knows something that you don't, he always knows something that you don't.
In some ways, I admire my big brother.
This one time, our village was plagued by a terrible drought. Water became scarce and all the farms suffered, which meant the whole village suffered. Dad and I went on more hunts that summer to bring in extra money for trade, but it wasn't enough and we all barely got by. Dean spent a lot of time his room when the drought first started, mom said that he was listening to the world, trying to find out what had made nature so angry.
Then, one day he bolted outside and started working his ass off, right in the middle of the noon day sun. Every day for a month after that he worked, digging trenches that scissor crossed through the farmland, digging wells, from sun up to sun down. Some days mom had to pry him off of the fields, he was so weary from heat exhaustion. Some days he never came home, having passed out from dehydration. Then one day, the sky darkened and thunder roared, and it rained harder then I had ever seen it rain before.
Dean went outside again that day.
When I went to go look for him he was sitting in the middle of the empty market, no shirt, no shoes, his linen pants were frayed, ripped, and torn. He knelt in the middle of the downpour with his arms spread wide to the heavens, head tilted back. I watched him in silence for a long time, the rainwater running down the sides of his face mixed with his tears, and his eyes never did look so green. But the most haunting part of that day was his smile, he looked so happy, practically blissed out of his skull, because of the rain.
He looked over to me even though I hadn't made a sound walking up. He brought his hands to his chest, over his heart, and smiled at me. She says she's sorry Sammy, Dean had said, signing to me softly, she forgives us. It's going to be okay.
The trenches Dean had dug supplied water to all of the farms in the village, our wells were overflowing with water, and somehow the crops managed to pull through by the fall harvest. Somehow Dean had managed to save us all, sacrificing himself.
Just like me and Dad, but somehow better.
That day I realized that I could never be as big a man as Dean. I could never be as strong, as humble, as wise, as brave. No matter how many monsters I kill, no how many lives I save, I feel like I'm carving a path of blood into this world, a path from which there is no true salvation. Dad and I do an important job, we save lives, but Dean saved our entire village. He is their lifeblood, and without him I don't think our home would ever be the same.
In some ways, I'm jealous of my big brother.
Dean awoke to the sound of heavy breathing, the warmth of Impala's breath on his cheek. He opened his eyes slowly, observing the sky, the sun was just about to break above the horizon, casting pink light through the azure sky. Pulling himself to a sitting position he noted an embarrassing dry patch in his pants, remnants of where he had lost himself when Castiel, the angel, had kissed him. My first kiss, Dean thought to himself, bringing his fingers to his lips, feeling them, slightly puffy and bruised.
He looked to his right and saw Castiel sitting quietly, facing away from him. The angels frame was rimmed in the brilliant light of the impending dawn, and the way the tips of his black hair glistened in the morning light cast a corona of light around his head, like a halo.
Sensing him stir, Castiel turned to face him. "Good morning Dean." The angel said. "I apologize for my abruptness last night, I was, weakened, for lack of a better word. I needed some form of sustenance or I might not have lasted the night."
What does any of that mean? Dean signed.
Castiel sighed, casting his eyes down. Then he retrieved the crystal vial that hung from around his neck, hidden within his tunic. Inside was a golden light that filled the vial halfway, though Dean could have sworn it was empty last night. "I fell Dean, I lost my wings and my Grace was depleted. If I hadn't basked in the light of your soul last night I probably would have winked out of existence."
So you sapped at my soul? The thought both angered and saddened Dean, who had always believed that angels were kind, benevolent beings.
"No, I may have coaxed it's brilliance though, and for that I am sorry. The human soul is like a sun, full of unbelievable power. Simply being in it's presence filled my Grace with light again, you have not been harmed in any way, I swear." Castiel sighed again, putting the vial away, walking over to Dean and sitting next to him, placing a hand on his. "Now tell me, how is it that you can hear the voices of my people?"
Dean shrugged in response. I don't know, I've always heard things, and more than just angels. Mom said I was blessed, and that's why I don't have a voice.
Castiel nodded and looked thoughtful. "I've never heard of one of my brothers of sisters blessing an infant in utero, but I suppose stranger things have happened, and it's certainly within our power." Dean looked at the angel, trying to make heads or tails at the strange man that had fallen into his life.
What will you do now? Dean asked.
"Wander, probably," Castiel replied, "As long as I don't use any of my angelic powers the light of my Grace should hold steady, so I wont die, but I probably will never see my home again. I suppose it is what it is." The look of resignation in Castiel's eyes saddened Dean deeply. But the thought of him leaving, of Dean never seeing him again, made him feel panic. His lips tingled again from the sensation from kissing the angel.
You could stay here, Dean signed quickly, you don't have to wander alone y'know.
"I don't want to impose on you Dean, I already took advantage of you once, it would be improper to-" He was caught off as Dean pressed his lips timidly against his own. Tentatively at first, as though the human didn't really know what he wasn't doing. Castiel sunk into the kiss easily, the warmth of Deans soul causing waves of Grace to flow him in ways that reminded him so much of home. The two of them sunk deeper into the kiss, and Dean gained confidence, quickly slipping his tongue through his full lips and tasting Castiel. All too soon he pulled away, face flushed and green eyes staring intently at the ground.
Castiel chuckled softly, the message behind the kiss was clear, and his Grace sang back. "If you insist Dean, I will stay with you."
Dean smiled at that, and for the first time he noticed he could hear an angelic whisper coming off of Castiel. It must have been the song of his Grace, the melody was ethereal, wraithlike, unnatural, lilting and soft, whispering of secret things, infinite in it's complexity, warm and inviting to Dean, but lined around the edges in wrath. Give my home a chance, Dean said, standing up from the ground and holding his hand out to Castiel, I'm sure you'll be able to put down roots their too.
"I think I would very much like that." Castiel replied, taking Deans hand and standing up to join him. Impala carried them back to the village just as the sun had finished rising, she was happy to be back in her stable and quickly settled off to sleep, she must have been waiting for Dean all night. He promised himself that he would give her a huge bushel of warm oats and the best brushing of her life when she woke up.
--
When John, Mary, and Sam awoke a few hours later Dean had already prepared a huge breakfast for all of them. Mary was the first to walk into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes sleepily as she yawned and stretched. She stopped when she saw Castiel sitting quietly at the table, watching Dean with a happy gleam in his eyes that betrayed his passive expression. "Dean?" Mary said, causing her son to look up from the pan he was washing, "Who is this?"
Castiel opened his mouth to reply, standing up in respect, but Dean beat her to the punch, clanking the pot down noisily to hold Mary's attention. Last night I saw a star fall from the sky and touch down outside town, Dean said, This is that star. His name is Castiel, but I think I'm gonna call him Cas.
"So, who knew fallen stars were such handsome young men." Mary said, glancing over at Dean, who gave her a sheepish grin. "Well Mr. fallen star, Castiel was it? It's nice to meet you."
"You as well ma'am." Castiel replied, taking Mary's outstretched hand and shaking it. Sam and John followed soon after, entering the kitchen with a grumbled g'morning. When John noticed Castiel over his plate of bacon and eggs he gave him an appraising glare with a raised eyebrow, which Castiel returned with a blank stare at the space of wall to Johns left ear.
"And who is this?" John asked.
"A fallen star." Mary replied. "Dean found him last night."
"Stars don't fall near small towns, what are you really?" John asked again, menace in his tone. Dean rolled his eyes and clanged this fork down on the table loud enough to get John to look over to him. "What Dean?"
Do you honestly think I would bring something dangerous home? He signed impatiently, wishing his father was less arrogant. Me, of all people?
John blinked like Dean had slapped him, then chuckled. "Your right Dean, I'm sorry. You know how I get when I'm sleepy." Which, in Deans opinion, was John's way of saving face in front of his wife and son even though he still didn't trust Castiel for an instant.
--
The afternoon sun shone down through the trees as Dean and Cas strolled through an apple orchard, the first harvest was coming in and Dean had been giving Mary the puppy dog eyes for weeks now. Finally she had relented and Dean had taken the day off of his usual work around town to get first pick of the freshest, crispest apples he could get his hands on.
Castiel watched Dean intently as the human walked in slow circles between four trees, head tilted to the sky. When the wind kicked up Dean stopped cold, listening to the sound of the leaves rustling in the trees. The expression on his face was one of peace and happiness, as though Dean was somehow more at home out here in nature than with his own family. He swayed from side to side, as though about to lose balance, and his right arms swayed between the trees as though the breeze moved it.
Finally his eyes snapped open and he ran over to the tree his arm was pointed towards. Crouching down low and wiggling in a comical manner Dean launched himself at the tree, scaling the tree quickly, much to Castiel's amazement. Dean looked down at the angel from the branches and gave Castiel a huge grin and a thumb-pointed-up gesture. A few minutes later Dean leapt down from the branches, his shirt was pulled up and filled with apples.
"What are these for Dean?" Castiel asked.
Unable to use his hands, Dean gave Castiel a broad, toothy grin and licked his lips. Then he walked close to Castiel and leaned in close, pressing their foreheads together. The sound of Deans thoughts filled Castiel's mind, a mix of excitement and intense longing about to be fulfilled, Only the best thing ever Cas, mom is makin' PIE!
--
The rest of the day was spent with Dean and Castiel lounging in Deans room while the scent of apple pie in the making filled the house. John and Sam had rode out to the next town over to gather information on any hunts they could complete before the season got too late, so the two of them were essentially alone. Dean had taken the opportunity to show Castiel to where he could bathe, his clothes were still dirty from when he had fallen, so he was currently wearing one of Deans shirts as well as some old pants of his. They hung from the angels slight, wiry frame, being too big for him, but Dean hardly cared.
Castiel was seated on Deans bed, elbow propping his head up as he gazed out the window sill. Dean rested his head in the angels lap, the two of the carrying on a silent conversation, no words, no gestures, just presence.
As the sun began to set Castiel finally broke the silence. "Your world is very beautiful Dean." He said sadly, the setting sun cast a twilight glow that reminded him painfully of home. Dean sat up in bed and didn't answer, instead turning Castiel's face tenderly to face is own and kissing him softly. Castiel smiled against Dean's lips. "Yes Dean, I know. I know."
--
The evening meal was followed by freshly baked apple pie, and Dean could hardly contain his excitement as he took his first bite. Had he a voice he would have squealed like a child, causing Sam and John to raise their eyebrows at him. "Dean," Sam said flatly, "It's pie. I know you like pie, but seriously dude, it's pie." Dean simply glared.
"Sam's right Dean." John said, not even looking up from his own slice.
Dean stood up with a sudden start, slamming his hand against the table hard enough to knock his plate clear off, causing it to shatter against the floor as he stormed outside angrily, slamming the door as he left. As he left he could hear Mary sigh at her husband as she gave an exasperated, "John..."
"WHAT? He yelled back," frustrated by his son overreacting like a little girl. "It's. Just. PIE."
"I'm afraid you missed the point Mr. Winchester." Castiel said softly, finishing his slice as he deftly stood up and began picking up the pieces of Dean's plate. Setting them gently in the waste bin he turned back to the table, "the pie was delicious Mrs. Winchester, now please excuse me. I'll be going after Dean now." He nodded his head courteously to them, then left.
Castiel didn't have to walk far before he found Dean. He was seated atop the stables, arms folded around his knees. Castiel sat down next to him quietly, waiting while Dean shook through his rage, trying his best not to start crying even though his eyes were glistening.
Dean knew Castiel there, and he searched for the right words, inside he felt like a tempest. Why doesn't he get it? Dean raged inside, Why doesn't he fucking get it? There are so few things in this world I enjoy, so few times I feel at home, that make me happy. So why? Why the hell can't I just enjoy them in PEACE? He wanted to tell Cas how he felt, but his hands were trembling and he couldn't bring himself to let his thoughts out of the bottle where he had been keeping them his whole life.
"I know Dean." Castiel said softly, "You needn't say anything, I know." He gently pushed Dean back until he was lying on his back, then slotted himself against Deans body, pressing a firm kiss to his lips. Beneath him, Dean came undone, grinding up against him as his strong arms encircled the angels frame. Dean clung to him and the kiss like a drowning man he silently cried into the man he had known for less than a day, yet understood him.
Someone who listened.